sexual! salinas profile picture

sexual! salinas

all i know, is i love you, lady. i gotta have you always near.

About Me

.guam.....

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Your Japanese Name Is...
Optimus Prime What's your Japanese Name?
i'm jordan salinas.
i'm the feeling of warmth when you take a shit on a cold, virgin seat.
i'm the comforting breeze across your sweaty chest after fighting bears with rubbery, flacid, 12 inch objects.
i'm the reason why your babies come out wet, naked and vulnerable; i make babies wet, baby.
i shot the sheriff, and roundhouse kicked chuck norris in the beard, and dominated with my teabag of submission.
i'm the reason why kids ask, "why is the sky blue?" it is a reflection of my nuts when they are not harnessed.
i'm the unfinished milk in the bowl of cereal.
i'm the broken chair no one cares to sit on or ever fix, because i have only 3 legs.
i'm the builder of cottage cheese cottages.
i'm the reason why your foreskin was missing the following morning.
i'm the reason why your pits sweat in the snow.
i'm the voice in the back of your head, telling you, "fuck them. you deserve that cookie. take it. take it...

My Interests

*
*PS2.
*hawaiian shorts.
*green apples.
*cartwheels.
*1950s and 1960s romance movies.
*1970s porn.
*1980s hair styles.
*MUSIC (except fucking country).
*UOG.
*white t-shirts.
*rickenbaucher bass guitars.
*gibson guitars.
*snorkeling.
*nachos.
*sour candy.
*boy bands.
*doggies.
*drawing.
*acoustic guitars.
*burning bryan padua.
*naked rabiis.
*watching people fight in public places.
*metal gear solid 3: snake eater.
*local bands.
*songs with cliche lyrics.
*kids that fight over the last toy.
*skanking.
*getting high.
*doing coke-lines off my dog's nipples.
*singing in the shower.
*cute babies that can't talk so i can make funny faces at them, and won't worry about them telling their parents.
*when great bands break up and form greater bands.
*shaving my legs.
*funky bass lines.

I'd like to meet:


+mark chapman with a shovel to back of his head
+scott peterson with a golf club to the back of his head
+tom from myspace
+yuri gagarin
+esao andrews
+mark rydan
+naked snake
+anthony green
+the dudes of The Mars Volta
+emeril agasi
+kevin federline because he's fucking loser and i want to teabag his nose
+robert plant
+triple H
+The Purple Cobras
+Tony Jaa
+Paul McCartney
+the guy who invented high heels (what the fuck's your problem?)
+all the shit i dropped, just to see how much shit was in me
+Jimmy Page
+young michael, before he was white
+tyler durden
AND...............................

Music:



-Reel Big Fish
-The Beatles
-Circa Survive
-The Mars Volta

-Tom Waits
-Wolfmother
-KISS
-No Doubt
-John Jackson...i mean Jack Johnson
-The Police
-The Skatalites
-Red Hot Chili Peppers
-Led Zeppelin
-311

-Rage
-Sublime
-The Greatest Constellaion
-Koufu
-Matala
-Shinjo
-Hymn for the Tortured
-At The Drive-In
-Saves the Day
-Sparta
-The Stiletto Formal
-Northstar
-New Found Glory (old stuff)

-Blink 182 (old stuff)
-Tom Petty
-Jimi Hendrix
-Catch 22 (old members)
-The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
-Interpol
-Dashboard Confessionals

-Emery
-Michael Buble
-Showbread
-Name Taken
-Inmemory
-RX Bandits
-The Killers
-Death Cab for Cutie
-The Postal Service
-Gym Class Heroes

-Green Jelly
-Cute is What We Aim For
-old school Taking Back Sunday
-Alkaline Trio
-Matt Skiba
-Jersey Boys
-Brand New
-Rancid
-Thursday
-Zolof the Rock and Roll Destroyer
-Saosin (especially with Anthony Green)
-Homegrown
-Potshot
-Daniel Bedingfield
-Julio Iglesias
-Tenacious D
-D.U.B.
-Elvis Costello

-Straylight Run
-Mustard Plug
-The Faint
-Coheed and Cambria
-The Sound of Animals Fighting
-Glassjaw
-Arctic Monkeys
-Best Interest
-Audio Karate
-Big D and the Kids Table
-Atreyu
-Feeling Left Out
-anything with Anthony Green
-The Kinison
-Incubus

Movies:

(ong bak)
(wedding crashers)
(american hardcore)
(300)
(blue hawaii)
(analyze that)
(tom yong guung)
(island fever 3)
(nympho fever 6)
(signs)
(the village)
(superman returns)
(clerks 2)
(fight club)
(girls! girls! girls!)
(equilibrium)
(anchorman)
(dumb and dumber)
(shaun of the dead)
(the graduate)
(the warriors)
(so close)
(vampire hunter)
(napoleon dynamite)
(hostel)
(donnie darko)
(charlie and the chocolate factory)
(harold and kumar go to white castle)
(the sound of music)
(my fair lady)
(roman holiday)
(troy)
(king kong [2005])
(wicker park)
(south park the movie)
(family guy the movie)
(house of wax)
(batman begins)
(batman forever)
(iron man)

Television:

[family guy]
[the grim adventures of billy and mandy]
[the three stooges]
[super sweet 16]
[the man show]

Books:

Harry Poter and The Goblet of Fire
The Da Vinci Code

Heroes:


SUPERMAN
MEGAMAN
THE HULK

SPIDERMAN
WOLVERINE
CAPTAIN AMERICA
THOR
IRON MAN
ANTHONY GREEN
THE THING
BATMAN
SPAWN
JIN KAZAMA

My Blog

get away. get away.

at the drive-in was a great fucking band.i just really realized it. i think i'd pretty much dig their shit, rather than TMV and Sparta, even though those bands are pretty fucking great. like i've once...
Posted by sexual! salinas on Fri, 09 Feb 2007 08:06:00 PST

GOLD BY KEN.

Carcass for the FeastSodomized by razor meat hooksViscera and blood expelledMutilate the innocentDigestion they are boundLegions of carcasses balefully spread throughoutMurder thrived industryFeast on...
Posted by sexual! salinas on Mon, 25 Dec 2006 06:29:00 PST

i can see you yawning, motherfucker........ai...go ahead....

i seriously think freedom fries should stop saying yes to these people asking for performances, because honestly, we play the same shit over and over, and it gets tiring. we need more material. instea...
Posted by sexual! salinas on Thu, 05 Oct 2006 06:59:00 PST