G-Bear: Fiction-ologist Extraodinaire profile picture

G-Bear: Fiction-ologist Extraodinaire

Imperfect person.

About Me

For starters, if you dare try to add me simply so you can reach your one million myspace friends goal, let me tell you, stop eating lead-based paints. I don't add anyone I don't like, and chances are if you feel you need one million myspace friends, I don't like you. Stop hitting on barnyard animals and get a life. Seriously. So anyway...I'm an English major in Dental Insurance. If that doesn't make sense to you, you're doing just fine so far. I write poetry, fiction, sometimes music, and Bible Verses for fun. I'm a Thirsty Poet and aspiring novelist. I believe if there is a God, he should stop playing hide-and-go-seek and say "There, told you you could never find me." I play enough videogames that both potatoes and carrots have successfully sprouted from my ears, and I live for life's guilty pleasures. (There's nothing better than telling people that Hilary Duff is more profound than people give her credit.) Other than that, I'm at a point in life where things haven't sucked this little ever before. I've got a few things published locally, my friends are just as dorky as I want them to be, McDonald's has the best Dollar Menu of all time, and humanity has moved on from Ricky Martin. If life were any better, I'd have a Smash Brother's character made in my image.

My Interests

I love to read because I believe you can't kill your eyesight fast enough. The smartest person I know is my television and I like drinking to the point where your shoes talk to you and there's a button hanging from your neck in an attempt to commit accidental homicide. I'm going to go ahead and be trite and say that music is one of the most important things in my life. I know every person on myspace, from the 11-year-old girls with more cleavage than Carmen Electra to the guys who think it's cool to post pictures of themselves without shirts on (if I wanted to see a guy without his shirt on, I'd watch wrestling), say that music is important, but if you don't listen to music, you're probably deaf or deprived, and I'm probably better than you. It's as simple as that.

I'd like to meet:

Sinead O'Connor, Geraldo Rivera, J-Lo's ass, the Munchkins, the Loch Ness Monster, whoever's perched in the tree outside my bedroom, Tatu, the guy that invented goose-feather pillows, your mom, your dad, your ungrateful children, the purple Telletubbie, a Mets fan, L. Ron Hubbard, and the woman with the telephone .. 867-5309 who has to tell them "No, Jenny is not here, now please go consume a gallon of Drain-O.".. src="http://www.google-analytics.com/urchin.js" type="text/javascript"> ..> .. type="text/javascript"> _uacct = "UA-425612-1"; urchinTracker(); ..>

Music:

Blink 182, Collective Soul, Metallica, Led Zeppelin, Green Day, Boxcar Racer, Panic! at the Disco, Angels and Airwaves, +44, The Spill Canvas, System of a Down, The Starting Line, Foo Fighters, Motion City Soundtrack, Coheed and Cambria, Anything from the "Scrubs" Soundtracks, Something Corporate, My American Heart, Boys Like Girls, Norah Jones, Snow Patrol, 30 Seconds to Mars, Sia, All-American Rejects, Bare Naked Ladies, Pearl Jam, Switchfoot, The Smashing Pumpkins, Brand New, Tonic, Andrew Bird, etc.

Movies:

The Lord of the Rings trilogy is/are my favorite movie(s) of all time, although that is quite a label to put on just one movie. I'm also a big fan of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Lost in Translation. I like comedies like Napoleon Dynamite, Office Space, and anything by Kevin Smith. Cheesy horror rocks, and nothing is better than stand-up comedy. But if you wanted a movie recommendation, why are you looking at some stranger's profile? I'm probably nothing like you, so find your own movie. And if you want to get in a fight over who likes better movies, I'll punch your face out over "Gigli."

Television:

The Daily Show, Scrubs, The Office, Friends (don't judge me), Family Guy, The Simpsons, and just about anything on Comedy Central. (Yes, The Daily Show is listed separately from Comedy Central because it's that great.)

Books:

"The Shining", "The Stand", "Lisey's Story", "Catcher in the Rye", all of the "Harry Potter" books, "The Lord of the Rings" Trilogy, "A Prayer for Owen Meany", "Breakfast of Champions", "Slaughterhouse Five", "Lovely Bones", "Ishmael", "Fight Club", "Choke", anything by Dave Barry, "Me Talk Pretty One Day", "The World According to Garp", the list goes on...

Heroes:

Stephen King, Kurt Vonnegut, John Irving, Kirk Hammett, Jimmy Paige, John Stewart, Zach Braff, Bill Murray, Chuck Palahniuk, Brett Favre, and anyone who found something to change the world for the better.

My Blog

Projected Election Thoughts

Since at the time this blog is being written, the election results have not yet been tallied, I thought I would give proper responses in the event that any of the five candidates who will get at least...
Posted by G-Bear: Fiction-ologist Extraodinaire on Wed, 05 Nov 2008 08:13:00 PST

If you dont want to vote, a third party candidate might be just the ticket for you!

It's election day, and if you're deciding not to vote....Kudos!  Chances are if you don't know who to vote for yet, or believe your vote doesn't matter, America doesn't want you to vote anyway.&n...
Posted by G-Bear: Fiction-ologist Extraodinaire on Tue, 04 Nov 2008 08:00:00 PST

Top Five Reasons Im Glad I Moved:

Top Five Reasons I'm Glad I Moved: 5.  In-unit washer and dryer, plus free water. This may sound lame, but it means no more setting aside Sunday mornings just for washing clothes that after a go...
Posted by G-Bear: Fiction-ologist Extraodinaire on Mon, 03 Nov 2008 08:25:00 PST

Ive bought a new phone, and Ive become more complacently lazy than my current president

I've recently upgraded my cell phone since my two-year contract extension was coming to a close, and I decided on the online ordering route simply because Verizon offers an additional discount for ord...
Posted by G-Bear: Fiction-ologist Extraodinaire on Sun, 02 Nov 2008 10:27:00 PST

How Old is 25, Really?

I'm 25 years old, and I've been doing some thinking lately.  While there's a lot of life left to live, I've decided to come up with a list of people who've accomplished far too much by the time t...
Posted by G-Bear: Fiction-ologist Extraodinaire on Sat, 01 Nov 2008 08:36:00 PST

Krolls is the Model for Restaurants Everywhere

From time to time I like to stop in at Kroll's, a local Green Bay restaurant, and have myself an authentic butter burger.  Culver's claims to have butter burgers, but it's just not the same unles...
Posted by G-Bear: Fiction-ologist Extraodinaire on Thu, 30 Oct 2008 08:15:00 PST

Why Parent Tell Their Kids to STFU!

Parents tell their children many things, most of which are to shut them up.  This is not because they do not love their children or choose not to enlighten their minds, but because by the time a ...
Posted by G-Bear: Fiction-ologist Extraodinaire on Wed, 29 Oct 2008 08:03:00 PST

Packing, boxing, taping, stuffing, aching, sealing, patiently waiting for Thursday

It's moving week, and my apartment is accruing more boxes and bags and buckets of junk than I thought was possible, which is weird because my apartment looks as if I've packed nothing.  If you we...
Posted by G-Bear: Fiction-ologist Extraodinaire on Tue, 28 Oct 2008 07:48:00 PST

"Dont you wish sometimes that you could just download food?"

As much as I've grown to love and appreciate my IPod, even more than a number of immediate family members and Taco Bell Value Meal deals, I've grown a disliking--we'll call it--with ITunes.  It's...
Posted by G-Bear: Fiction-ologist Extraodinaire on Mon, 27 Oct 2008 07:13:00 PST

Caffeine or morphine, that is the question!

I'm genetically impaired.  Not in a physically debilitating way or even a psychological condition.  See, my mom and sister have both built up immunities to caffeine.  Coffee, soda, choc...
Posted by G-Bear: Fiction-ologist Extraodinaire on Sun, 26 Oct 2008 12:46:00 PST