lae profile picture

lae

you'll be a bitch because you can

About Me

i'm a crackhead, and that's okay.

i'm married to a fellow crackhead (among other things *eyeroll*), and plan to stay that way. yay for me! *double eyeroll*

by the way, please DO NOT TRY TO ADD ME AS A FRIEND if you're some creepy, 20-, 30-, or 40-something man from the midwest (or anywhere else, for that matter) who's just looking to get laid. if you could read, you'd have seen that i'm married and not interested. 'nuff said on that. thanks.

also, i know who has been looking at my profile and when they've been looking at it. i also know where they are in the world, so if you're going to look around and rummage through my shit, at least drop me a message and say hai. that's all i ask. thank you and have a pleasant day.

had the big 3-1 on august 2, 2006. thanks for remembering, boys and girls. *triple eyeroll*

if you haven't noticed already, i have three obsessions:
1.) big daddy
2.) a certain blue-eyed god
3.) tyrone wells (okay, that's not quite as obvious as the other two)
you don't need to tell me this. i'm well enough aware, thankyouverymuch. much appreciated, though. really.

i suffer from a little known affliction called mayer mania that is characterized by excessive drooling, mania (hence the name), and overall craziness for big daddy mayer. though i prefer to see myself as a survivor rather than a victim. heh.

sex-free since september 15, 2002.

happy now? jesus fucking christ already.

what else do you want from me?

i have voicemail now. well, i've had it for a few months, but i just forgot about it. leave me a message here: (661) 349-8593. c'mon, you know you wanna. doooo ittttttttt.

or if you're really feeling adventurous, you could call me on my cell phone: (661) 317-2639. yes, yes, lae finally moved up in the world and got her an evil messaging device a cell phone. yay! be nice, though. don't call me unless you plan on leaving me a message. i don't take kindly to hang-up calls, mmmkay?

i've designed my own set of yoga- and zen-inspired clothing and other fun items. they are currently being sold at cafepress.com . you can visit my shop, mantrawear, at http://www.cafepress.com/mantrawear . some of the items are a little expensive, but i'm hoping to offer them at discount prices just in time for your holiday shopping needs. g'head, take a look and, well, buy something dammit!

..

I am worth $1,842,610 on HumanForSale.com


adopt your own virtual pet!
get your own clock at
clocklink.com

My Interests

because of a few jackasses in the world, the 'fridge and its magnets are down. maybe they'll be back, maybe not. i hate that something so small has to affect me like this, but i'm just in a mood where i don't tolerate shit from anybody, real or otherwise.


since there isn't a section for actors/actresses or authors, i'll list them here: angelina jolie, amy tan, anne rice, chris isaak, jill hennessey, scott speedman, harry connick jr., john grisham, josh duhamel, thomas harris, val kilmer, vanessa williams, zach braff, wesley snipes, morgan freeman, jennifer garner, julia roberts, maya angelou, robert frost.

I'd like to meet:

no one but the peoples i already know. make sense? no, but i'm not required to at this stage in life. nuh uh, no way. leave me alone, bitches.

Music:


Get this video and more at MySpace.com

courtesy of mags, here's some mayer in the morning:

and in no particular order: aslyn, sara bareilles, lisa loeb, debbie loeb (lisa's sister), ben loeb (her brother, duh), tori amos, chris isaak, john mayer, maroon 5, black eyed peas (including ms. fergieferg), michael bublé, matchbox 20, rob thomas, kelly clarkson, cary brothers, sarah mclachlan, ben harper, wylef jean, lauryn hill, hootie and the blowfish, dave matthews band, remy zero, joshua radin, schuyler fisk, duncan sheik, brian mcknight, natasha bedingfield, justin timberlake (post-nsync, thankyouverymuch), christina aguilera (post-genie in a bottle), carlos santana, marvin gaye, gladys knight, edwin mccain, alanis morissette, the doors, earth wind and fire, barry white, al green, b.b. king, herbie hancock, buddy guy, eric clapton, george harrison (sans beatles), sly and the family stone, jimi hendrix, janis joplin, t-bone burnett, john scofield, etta james, ella fitzgerald, louis armstrong, stan getz, astrud gilberto, joco gilberto, nat king cole, carole king, poe, björk, gloria estefan, everything but the girl, janet jackson, vanessa williams, jon secada, johnny cash, harry connick jr., toad the wet sprocket, moby, fat boy slim, carly simon, pearl jam, u2, the goo goo dolls, lenny kravitz, the dixie chicks, mary j. blige, billy joel, neil diamond, james brown, alabama, the beegees, stevie wonder, ray charles, minnie driver, seal, ernie halter, jessie baylin, blood of abraham (don't ask, blame b.e.p.), john legend, prince (and the revolution), otis redding, talib kweli, heather headley, mat kearney, sergio mendes, simon and garfunkel, james taylor, van morrison, peter gabriel, joshua kelley, charles kelley, jordan lawhead, keaton simons, tyrone wells, tyler hilton, trey lockerbie, dave yaden, priscilla ahn, dave barnes, anna nalick, chantal kreviazuk, édith piaf, richard stoltzman, the corrs, red hot chili peppers (bloodsugarsexmagik, baby), jack johnson, david ryan harris, collective soul, bush, no doubt (before the gwen stefani sellout debacle), and even that crazy fool kanye west

there's a bunch of other stuff i listen to, but i can't think of em at the moment. sue me.


Movies:

um, numero uno? the silence of the lambs. hands down, no question.

other movies i like include: lilo & stitch, the lion king series, finding nemo, chitty chitty bang bang, the wiz (ease on down, ease on down the roooooooooad), dante's peak, the pelican brief, a time to kill, the chamber, garden state, the last kiss (2006), interview with a vampire, the feast of all saints

i wrote down a list of my favorite flicks somewhere. i think it's on a cd that i burned a while back. i'll get back to you when i find it. got it? good.

Television:

er, extreme makeover: home edition, project runway (trainwrecks with pretty and ugly clothes!), top chef, desperate housewives (though i didn't like it at first), brothers and sisters, felicity (i know it's off the air now. you don't hafta tell me!), trading spaces, while you were out, what not to wear, nypd blue (reruns only, now that it's off the air), the practice (yeah, that too), alias (and this one), scrubs, overhaulin', crossing jordan (old and new), all my children (the only true soap opera that i watch), surprise by design, this old house, city confidential, cold case files, american idol, nip/tuck (yay for season 4!), the ellen degeneres show (the rare chance i get to watch it), inside the actor's studio, csi: las vegas (especially old episodes on spike tv), 30 minute meals, $40 a day, good eats, the late show with david letterman, the daily show with jon stewart, the colbert report, the late late show with craig ferguson, mind of mencia, jimmy kimmel live, crank yankers, too late with adam carolla, the adam carolla project, freddie, commander in chief, the tyra banks show (when i need to laugh), las vegas, america's next top model, the apprentice (martha edition), the apprentice (donald edition), celebrity fat fit club, the surreal life, my fair brady, breaking bona douchebag duce (i love a good train wreck), skating with celebrities (i'm weird, hush), supernanny (another good train wreck, but with kids), i love the [insert decade here] series on vh1, saturday night live (though based on this season's premiere, i'm almost sure it's going to be a snoozer), will & grace, celebrity poker showdown, queer eye for the straight guy (heterosexual train wrecks in a homosexual world), my life on the d list, miami ink, martha (on tlc), property ladder, american justice, dog the bounty hunter (very rarely, but when i do, it's pretty good), inked, intervention (see? more train wrecks), ugly betty, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand oprah.

i really don't watch that much television, i swear! wednesdays and sundays are usually when i sit down and watch my favorite shows. everything else i just record and watch later when i have more time.

by the way, does anybody wanna donate to the "i desperately want need tivo" fund? c'mon, you know you wanna! =)

Books:

the silence of the lambs, memnoch the devil, the runaway jury, the pelican brief, a time to kill, the chamber, the rainmaker, the king of torts (can you see a pattern here?), jane eyre, wide sargasso sea, i know why the caged bird sings, the grapes of wrath, cannery row, the house on mango street, the old man and the sea

i'm picky with whom and what i read. excuse the hell outta me.

Heroes:

oprah...because she rules the universe!

My Blog

update - please read

i haven't been around much lately (i've been checking nonexistent messages for a little while, but that's it), and for that i'm sorry.  however, there's good reason. for most of my life, i've bee...
Posted by lae on Mon, 11 Dec 2006 04:42:00 PST

wanna see why i hate this stupid redneck town?

Militants irate over driver's death Rally in AV blasts illegal immigrationThis story appeared in the Antelope Valley Press on Sunday, November 26, 2006.By TITUS GEE Valley Press Staff Writer PALMDALE ...
Posted by lae on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 09:32:00 PST

march of the penguins

five minutes and already i'm bawling.  poor not-yet-born-still-in-the-egg-being-transferred-from-mommy-t o-daddy baby pingüino, and poor señor & señora pingüino =( ...
Posted by lae on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 09:32:00 PST

ocd revisited

after tomorrow, i will probably be moving out.  i've realized that i need help with my ocd and some other personal issues that have been plaguing my life as of late.  first i need to see if ...
Posted by lae on Wed, 22 Nov 2006 08:28:00 PST

cruelty to animals: why i'm going to school

i originally saw this story on the local nbc affiliate.  it's a horrific story that while atrocious, needs to be told.  why are people going to learn that dogs - animals in general...
Posted by lae on Wed, 22 Nov 2006 06:43:00 PST

appreciation turns to fear

at least someone in this world gives a damn about what i do for folks.  he's a sweet, old man who is terribly grateful (perhaps more than he should be) for me helping him with his writing assignm...
Posted by lae on Tue, 21 Nov 2006 10:53:00 PST

booboohoo

after a lengthy cellblock a visitation, it seems i've had a change of heart with regard to yogi.  when i met him yesterday, he was shy, quiet, and rather reserved, but today turned out to be a to...
Posted by lae on Sun, 19 Nov 2006 05:01:00 PST

i just don't get it* (bulletin repost)

you'll allow brothels in your town/county, but god forbid anyone should want to fly a mexican flag.  *shrugs* folks in nevada are crazy, ass-backwards, redneck assholes.  this is why i hate ...
Posted by lae on Thu, 16 Nov 2006 09:44:00 PST

health update

it's been a rough week for me, folks.  caught a cold from the husband that took a bad turn.  it went from mild coughing and itchy-scratchy throat to full on attack of the phlegm monster, hac...
Posted by lae on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 07:47:00 PST

i'm done

with school with marriage with life can't do it anymore.  it will all be the death of me.  a lot sooner than i ever thought....
Posted by lae on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 01:39:00 PST