Due out June 2008!"Heal and Forgive II: The Journey from Abuse and Estrangement to Reconciliation."Anyone who has heard the devastating words, "I never want to see you again!" from a parent, sibling, or child, knows the torment of family exile.All one needs to do is search the web for sites dealing with family estrangement to find endless choices for the countless individuals seeking help with family cut-off's. Google lists 776,000. Yahoo lists 890,000! Although there are no formal statistics for family estrangement, the numbers available are alarming. From celebrities, to friends, co-workers, and neighbors we find people everywhere dealing with the effects of family rifts.After a painful fourteen-year estrangement, author Nancy Richards and her family reunited. Heal and Forgive II: The Journey from Abuse and Estrangement to Reconciliation, presents a first-hand description of the long journey towards healing and offers a blueprint for coming to terms with the past.Reconciliations can bring joy, excitement and a sense of awe like that of a miracle. At the same time, reunions can be frightening, stressful, fragile, and wrought with many pitfalls. Rebuilding relationships requires a great deal of emotional work and a willingness for each family member involved.Often, re-establishing relationships with family members can appear to be an impossible task. Indeed, reuniting is not possible for everyone. Some individuals experience continued physical and emotional violence within their families to a degree that prohibits any safe contact. Other estranged individuals may desire a reunion only to find family members unwilling to see them. Yet, sometimes people are surprised when the road to healing and recovery leads to new beginnings.Whether re-establishing a relationship with a family member or remaining apart, healing is vital for the individual's happiness and well-being. This work demonstrates to the reader the healing process necessary to make peace with the past, healing in a fashion that maintains wholesome separateness with or without rebuilding new relationships.This thought provoking work effectively diagrams the healing and reconciliation process while placing the reader's well-being firmly in his or her own hands.
The Foreword to Heal and Forgive:This story is painful to read. How can a parent abuse or allow the other parent to abuse children in the myriad of ways described here? Perhaps this "why?" has no answer. An answer would be helpful because part of what we humans long for in the midst of pain and chaos is to make some sense of it all. Answering "why?" there is such suffering in the world at least gives us a handle on it. Yet these answers are hard to come by. Suffering is a part of life. So is joy. But this is little solace to a child whose world is constructed by abuse.Richards tells her story and unravels the process of healing that can lead to forgiveness. Along the way she breaks the silence of her family and is determined to tell the truth about her childhood. In spite of the denial by other family members, she is heard, believed and acknowledged by others in her life. She goes through the anger and grief of coming to terms with her childhood. She resists the temptation to "forgive and forget" because she knows it would only heal the wound lightly, saying "peace, peace," when there is no peace (Jeremiah 6:14 ). She puts her energy into protecting and caring for herself and in raising her children in a healthy, nurturing environment. All of this contributes to her healing; all of this is part of experiencing justice. All of this is what finally frees her to forgive and get on with her life.She chose the path of healing and it took her to forgiveness. Forgiveness is not an obligation on the part of someone who has been harmed. It is not a solo act but rather takes place in community where we can find some sense of justice. It is not saying magic words and hoping that healing will come from that. It is hard work for the individual. It is God's grace carrying us the whole way. It is possible but never easy. This story is a testament to the possibility of healing and forgiveness. No cheap grace here. No pretense of keeping family secrets and denial. Just hard work and a great reward.Rev. Marie M. Fortune FaithTrust Institute, Seattle