J u l e s profile picture

J u l e s

I'm Every Cliche, But I Simply Do it Best.

About Me

While some people sneeze in twos, I sneeze in twelves. I love to eat breakfast for dinner, dinner for breakfast-but lunch remains lunch. I have a tendency to giggle at the most inappropriate times but can be serious when need be while humming the theme song to "Charles in Charge" in my head at the sametime. I prefer Ketchup over Catsup; vanilla over chocolate; Milli over Vanilli; word find puzzles over crossword puzzles; dogs over cats and thunderstorms and sunshine can go into the same catergory of "things I enjoy". Sounds of flatulance, potty humor and 'Yo Mama' quips make the best jokes. A lot of people tell me that I remind them of a cross between Janeane Garofalo/Sarah Silverman/Daria Morgendorffer from 'Beavis and Butthead'. I love to laugh and love to make people laugh. I've been told I'm a good listener and a loyal friend. I tell bad jokes but people still laugh anyway because it's still funny (or they feel sorry for me...those bastards...) Overall, I can be extremely boring or extremely hilarious.Layout made by Broken_Barbie
'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

My Interests

Reading anything both interesting and useless, writing anything that comes to mind,movies,music,dabbling in gory special fx makeup. Ghost stories-anything supernatural! Laughing, making people laugh. Beef Jerky rocks! Harry Houdini-'nuff said. Walking aimlessly through the wonderful city of New York. 'People watching'..it's pretty interesting. And if I feel like it, hanging around a park and sitting on the swings...but now as an adult, if I swing more than ten times, I tend to want to vomit then I have to get off. Apparently, my equilibrium isn't the same as it use to be when I was a young lass. Damn you, Father Time!! Damn it all! What else? Listening to strangers' conversationon a train ride or a Starbucks-yeah, I'm secretly nosy..well now it's no longer a 'secret' I guess. =-D I LOVE shoes! I love to try them on,I like to look at them,I like to shop for them,but I don't like to wear them...got dodgy knees & I get,like a case of vertigo when I'm wearing anything higher than a 2 inch. Not to say I don't wear them at all! I wear them at home when I'm cleaning or washing dishing with my grungy sweatpants and dingy t-shirt. Nice, huh? Also silent slapstick comedies,Looney Tunes,taking photographs...there's more but I can't stop sneezing and it's making me forget what else I want to type..

I'd like to meet:

Non-stalkerish people who are sound of mind and have the sense of humor of a five year old...and who can read...=-D

Music:

My Chemical Romance, Alanis Morissette, Flyleaf, The White Stripes, Gorillaz, blink-182, The Beatles, Panic! at the Disco, Morningwood, No Doubt, Gwen Stefani,Coldplay, Garbage, Green Day, Michael Jackson (60s-80s), The Killers, Janet Jackson, John Mayer, Maroon 5, Smashing Pumpkins, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Sounds, Scissor Sisters, Tori Amos and anything from the 50s, 60s and 80s and 90s.

Movies:

TOO MANY TO NAME! Horror-I love to get scared after watching a real good movie but sadly, I have not seen a "real good" horror in a long time. Dramedy (Kevin Smith flicks), comedy, silent slapstick films, biographical. '80s flicks ROCK!

Television:

REALITY TV SUCKS! I WANT THE 80's BACK! I do,however, enjoy "Law & Order" shows, "House", "CSI" (when I remember) and "Criminal Minds", and who can leave out the best show on T.V. "Family Guy" and lets not forget "The Simpsons"-both shows of which I know all lines, scenarios and trivia to-which is pretty sad when you think about it. =-D Oh yeah & anything that has to do with forensics and autopsies! Weird how I can watch live autopsies but didn't choose to major in mortuary science

Books:

I love to read. Anything by Augusten Burroughs! He's excellent! "Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants" by Jill Soloway, "Deranged" by Harold Schechter, "The Man Who Wouldn't Lie Down" by Tom Dardis, "Severed" by John Gilmore and so many more..

Heroes:

My older sister for going back to school even with three kids and inspiring me to do the same. Oh and myself-I am my biggest hero, I was always there for myself when no one else was..did that make sense? =-)

My Blog

I'm Puttin' You Women on Blast!

All right! Enough of this! I have had it! It's about time I spill the beans on all you dirty, dirty so called feminine creatures out there. Not all of you, just about 90% of you out there---...
Posted by J u l e s on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 04:18:00 PST

Lyrically Speaking

"Eight Easy Steps" How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment How to defer to men in solveable predicaments How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you How to have that not work and have them ...
Posted by J u l e s on Sun, 21 Jan 2007 07:44:00 PST

Eloh tibbar eht nwoD

Oy Vey.... Ever had one of those days where you feel like you're getting sick with the whole stuffy nose, achy body, constant headache and laziness? But then the next day, you feel 100% better and the...
Posted by J u l e s on Wed, 17 Jan 2007 05:24:00 PST

Nobody likes you, everyone left you, they're all out without you having fun....

All right, folks, it's been a while since I last blogged (for public viewing) and I may be a little rusty so bare with me. Oh, and if you're looking for the jolly, funny stories-haven't had one of tho...
Posted by J u l e s on Tue, 09 Jan 2007 06:21:00 PST

"Stripes, Gripes & Stereotypes"

Holy Crap, look at me--I've got free time! These last two weeks have been so completely CRAZ-AY, it's not even funny. It actually seems like last week merged in with this week making it one incredibly...
Posted by J u l e s on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 06:08:00 PST

Deaf People are LOUD!

Hell, yeah, deaf people are loud. Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation between two audibly impaired people?? Well, I have and man, were they audible! Stressed out from studying all week...
Posted by J u l e s on Tue, 17 Oct 2006 06:07:00 PST

These D's...

"The only thing that counts is what's on the inside..." Goddamn Liars... Whoever told you that bullcrap when you were a kid, was just that, a Goddamn liar or, if multiple people, liars. Here is why: ...
Posted by J u l e s on Thu, 12 Oct 2006 02:17:00 PST

A Dedication....

"I Can't Decide"written by: Scissor SistersIt's not easy having yourself a good timeGreasing up those bets and bettersWatching out they don't four-letterFuck and kiss you both at the same timeSmells-l...
Posted by J u l e s on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 05:19:00 PST

I took the General Tsu's Challenge...and Lost..

[WARNING: The following segment contains some material that may be too graphic for some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.] (Translation: If you're an easily nauseated pansy---stop reading now and...
Posted by J u l e s on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 05:17:00 PST

The Adventures of Julie's First Week in College

Monday, September 11th:                    Ah, the first day of school. Anyone who has a first day of school remembers h...
Posted by J u l e s on Sun, 17 Sep 2006 04:56:00 PST