oh velveteen profile picture

oh velveteen

_oh_amy_

About Me

what people are saying about my ass... "you are a ray of sunshine that can shoot solar flares if provoked."- sarah/"it doesn't help that we've got a little irish spitfire at the door.. with all the diplomacy tactics of an ira sniper." -terry/"you're adorably insane." -rafi/"you're the only person i know who's adorable enough to be fictional.. i'm not even sure you're real now." -craig/"she's unpredictable.. like a drunken bull." -walker

My Interests

mi bicicleta, boys on bikes, printmaking, red nailpolish, red candy, red andreas (smooches), the gym, hot showers, diet coke (mmmm....caffeine in general), crosswords, sockssocksSOCKS (i have the coolest new socks.. i mean, they're unbelievable), giant rings, reading, swimming, movies with friends (brenda's my best movie buddy), movies by myself, playing with other people's dogs, cooking (for myself, and even occasionally for the ungrateful bastards at the crown), dinner with friends (steph's my very best dinner date), smooching, watching the sky, the color the sky goes at dusk (that deep teal at the horizon), the way everything goes pink when the sun just starts to set, the way everything goes blue when the moon is full (and the shadows my bike casts), black trees against the sky, climbing trees, chocolate, and flirting my ass off.i rode my bike to alaska last summer http://texas4000.org/

Music:

the beatles/ the get up kids/ the pixies/ weezer's first 2 albums/ wilco/ the replacements/ portishead/ the toadies/ the wrens/ the shins/ the promise ring/ le tigre/ american football/ built to spill/ the anniversary/ blonde redhead/ jay-z/ lovage/ nirvana/ paul simon (and, hey, garfunkel too)/ the ronettes/ the supremes/ the shirelles/ sam the sham & the pharaohs/ whiskeytown/ tori amos

Movies:

holy crap.. empire records, gross pointe blank, better off dead, young frankenstein, clue, cool hand luke, help!, but i'm a cheerleader, tombstone, great expectations, the wizard of oz, hard day's night, billy madison, anastasia ( i stand by my choice!!), raising arizona, the big lebowski, harrypotterharrypotterharrypotter, the holy grail, sixteen candles, mallrats, pretty in pink, labyrinth (what babe?), from russia with love, dazed and confused.

Television:

sex and the city, the family guy, monty python... all of my tv is on dvd. ah, jeopardy, the o.c... and sweet, sweet daily show when i'm at the gym.

Books:

"i find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself. why refer to lady crack pipe or good sir dishrag when these things could never live up to all that their sex implied?" "all my life, one person or another has been telling me to behave, saying don't let a guy know you're a depressed maniac on the first date, don't just be yourself, don't show your feelings. and the truth is, this is probably good advice, men probably don't like overbearing , hotheaded women who give blowjobs on the first date." "But at the end of the day, you can't major in Making Stuff, so it was Art by default." "My suspicions were confirmed the minute I entered the Visual Arts building on arrival my freshmen year and took in the faculty show in its gallery. I beheld: melting lop-sided Umbrian? hillsides, nudes run over by the Cubist Express, suburban-surrealist flower ladies going about their daily tasks weeping blood tears the size of water balloons, and kittens. Yes, kittens. I thought, 'Now these people hate Art a lot. This is where I belong. Perfect.'"

Heroes:

oh, and dan savage. "When two people marry, they're not only making a solemn vow to be there in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, but also to be complete and total whores for each other. It would save countless marriages—and cut my mail in half—if this was made explicit in standard marriage vows. Perhaps the American Family Association could get on this."

My Blog

the colorblind sketch continued

amy poehler won my heart 10 years ago in a sketch with the upright citizens brigade on conan. she was the colorblind sister who couldn’t differentiate between apples and pig anuses.amazing.and ...
Posted by oh velveteen on Fri, 04 Apr 2008 01:16:00 PST

the best thing you’ve ever seen.

two of my heroes.. god i miss her. ...
Posted by oh velveteen on Wed, 26 Mar 2008 02:04:00 PST

owwgrrraaarg.

who the hell approved 6:30 in the morning? i disapprove of its very existence. yes, i understand that it’s actually 7:30, but it’s taken an hour to gain the motor skills necessary for ty...
Posted by oh velveteen on Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:33:00 PST

ow

ow. ow. ow.go away. get out.no more reminders, no more flashbacks.stop.
Posted by oh velveteen on Thu, 25 Oct 2007 03:42:00 PST

and to think i wanted to call in sick

two reasons why work was beautiful last night:1)2)i almost peed in my pants.for real.i had to add isaac's amazing comments.."maybe he'll become a regular! maybe you'll be best friends! maybe you'll ha...
Posted by oh velveteen on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 10:08:00 PST

i think

astrologers have set up cameras at my house.. at work.. they must be following me, right?Wednesday, September 6, 2006Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)Your life could look sweet and easy from the outside, but...
Posted by oh velveteen on Wed, 06 Sep 2006 06:10:00 PST

little miss sunshine

is the best movie ever. fo reals. go see it. that little girl is my new hero.ps- when did steve carell get so pretty?
Posted by oh velveteen on Mon, 28 Aug 2006 10:15:00 PST

hour to hour, note to note

Aquarius: Channel your energy toward trying to decode a very mysterious communication now. well no fucking shit.
Posted by oh velveteen on Mon, 03 Jul 2006 01:30:00 PST

a word to the wise

trying to work out after giving blood is a stupid, stupid thing to do. just so you know.
Posted by oh velveteen on Fri, 19 May 2006 04:59:00 PST

i'm in love..

with the new blanton. i had the most perfect introduction to it last night, and i couldn't be happier. it was perfect. i headed out on my own, which almost always means the night will exceed all of...
Posted by oh velveteen on Mon, 01 May 2006 08:52:00 PST