Our bio huh? Well to make a long story short...
It started back in 1979. Mike Rotch was sitting in a diner in Brooklyn. All of a sudden, some local crazed punks came crashing through the window! They demanded that everyone inside, including Mike, strip down totally naked and put their valuables in a giant pillow case. Mike was pissed off, so he said " dude, this is lame, I don't want to give you my stuff ". This infuriated the leader of the Crazed Punks. He went up to Mike and kicked him in the stomach. But Mike DIDN'T EVEN CARE! He got even more upset and his eyes fell out, and fire was coming out of the sockets.
Meanwhile, over in Saskatoon, Justin Burkkake was minding his own business, when, you guessed it.. out of nowhere, Hulk Hogan showed up and gave him a big boot to the face. The boot was soooo hard that Mike heard it, ALL THE WAY OVER IN BROOKLYN! It was weird, but in that instant,Mike and Justin somehow had connected. They both shot up into the sky, like a rocket from hell!So Hogan and the Crazed punks were all like " what the hibou? " Boy, where they ever mad! Mike and Justin got away!
Anyway, Mike and Justin were just floating in the sky, right next to each other but they didn't say a word to each other. They were just there, hovering, glowing the brightest light that you'll ever see.
That is when Moohammad The Terrorist Cow lost his mind. He was building a bomb to blow up the farm house that he was staying at. He liked to do that sort of thing, he's crazy. Just as he was about to destroy the ENTIRE farm, a flock of Indian elephants came charging towards him. He dodged left! Then right! A roll here and a duck there. He was good, but even a terrorist cow can become tired. There were just too many elephants for one cow to handle. He grabbed his detonator and set it for 10 second. 9.... 8... 7... still more elephants! 6... 5.... 4.... 3... Time was running out, what was he going to do? He had to act fast. 2... 1... and with NO MORE seconds remaining, he looked up to the sky and saw Mike and Justin.. just hovering there, for no reason, glowing. So with no time left, Moohammad blasted off into the sky, to be with the others.
This is the CRAZIEST day ever! But it's not over yet!
Off in the middle of a tiny Japanese village, there lived a school teacher. This teacher was blind but nobody even cared. There was this kid in his Japanese class. That kid was named , Laserbeam Dick... better known as Ninjason. Ninjason was a quiet kid, he wanted nothing more than to be a ninja, but nobody would ever teach him the way. "You're too small" , "You're too ugly" is what they would tell him. One day, ninjason was walking home from school when he was attacked by a gang of Emo kids. So what did he do? NOTHING! Everyone knows emo kids are pussies, so he just kept walking. BUT THEN! He was attacked by a gang of half dragon, half wolf beasts! He was so scared. He kicked one in the dick, but it was protected by dragon scales! So Ninjason pulled out his magic sword and said "By the power of gray skull.. I HAVE THE POWER!" and he was transformed into to coolest most radical ninja EVER! He was just about to kick some serious Dragonwolf butt, but he shot up into the air, like magic! And yeah, he was with the other guys!
The dragonwolves were PISSED! They walked around breathing firey howls of darkness.
Those howls were SO loud that they could be heard all over the UNIVERSE! Poison Dart Fart was playing Sonic The Hedgehog on the Sega Genesis that I bought him (which he hasn't payed me back for, but I will accept one of his 3 controllers in return), but then, the power went out. IT WAS THE FIERY DRAGONWOLF HOWLS! They short circuited the world's power supply. So now that it was dark, those monsters from Pitch Black were able to get into Poison's house. They broke his mom's elvis stuff, they broke his sister's Avril Lavigne stuff.. then they broke his PS2. That was ENOUGH! He had had it! Yes.. 2 "hads" in a row! On Purpose! He was so upset that he wanted to kick them! And he tried, but he was outnumbered and wasn't able to do anything about it, so he prayed and said "Dear lord, please give me the strength and courage to carry on in this time of need... Amen". And as SOON as he was done, BOOM! He was up in the sky with the rest of the guys.
So the Pitch Black monsters, The Crazed Punks, The Indian Elephants, The gang of Emo Kids, The Gang Of Dragonwolves and Hulk Hogan all got together to make a MASTER PLAN! ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ --------------
Hogan: Hey brothers! We have to stop these guys! I don't know why, but they have to go.
Pitch Black Monsters: Blurp buty!
Indian Elephants: Yeah, we can talk, so what? These guys are giving us a bad name. I hate them cause they are awesome! Let's kill them
Hogan: I agree
Crazed Punks: Ahhhh! Let's kill them and sniff cock off of their dead bodies.
Hogan: Cock? Do you mean coke?
Crazed Punks: NO!
Indian Elephants: ...
*for no reason at all, Dhalsim from Street Fighter 2 shows up and yoga flames the crap out of a chair*
Emo Kids: That's not funny Dhalsim, my girlfriend left me! :(
Dragonwolves: We will use out mighty dragonwolf power to destroy them, then the world!
Hogan: Whatchya gonna do, when dragonwolfmania runs wild on you?
So they all suit up and get ready for battle
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Meanwhile, up in the sky. Mike Rotch, Ninjason, Justin Burkkake, Poison Dart Fart and Moohmmad are wondering what they are all doing up in the sky. Then ! BOOOM! They blow up! Nobody knows how or why, but they do. The blast knocks them out for a short time, and they wake up on the ground... in a Best Buy. The Tv is playing, it's Eddie Murphy Raw. They can't stop laughing but they have to. Because the BAD GUYS ARE HERE!
Right there and then, they knew what they had to do. They joined forces, and with Raw playing in the background, they went to work. The battle lasted such a long time, but they didn't even care. All the bad guys except for 1 dragonwolf and Hulk Hogan were dead. It was the 2 of them against the 5 of the new found friends. So basically, they beat the hell out of Hogan and legged dropped the crap out of him. However, Dragonwolf wanted none of that action, so he Fiery Howled his way out of best buy, and into the darkness from whence he came.
The five guys stood there, victorious, observing the total carnage that was unleashed in that hellish battle. They were exhausted, BUT DIDN'T EVEN CARE! They all saw potential in each other, and they liked it that way. They decided to stick together, to fight everything and everyone that needs to be fought. Good or bad, big or small... they don't care. They never do. They will fight it. For no reason at all.
A Best Buy employee asked them what was going on. So Ninjason killed him with his magic sword and said "Eddy Murphie And The Ninjas is what's going on.... slut!" The whole gang laughed because it was funny.
They left the store and went looking for their next challenge. So far, everyone has fallen before them, will you be next?
True Story.
End?
Never!
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