The world interests me more than anything. I have only lived in America, so the mystery of what else is out there on this level of conciousness is beyond me.I am also extremely interested in meeting other people like me. Not afraid to be themselves. Not afraid to hurt someone feelings with the truth. Someone strong enough to never crumble, but human enough to fall apart.I love to draw in pen and pencil. One day I'll post some of my work on here, so people can see it. I mostly draw characters or objects for some reason. The deatils of a landscape always seem to be too detailed and constantly changing for me to completely focus my abilities on.I love to journal my thoughts and feelings. I do write poetry. There is no better way to strike an emotion into someones life than with the sincerity of someones deepest sentiments being transcribed in a way only the reader will see. I am going to randomly post some of my writings in the 'BOOKS' section of my page, since I am writing a few books at the moment.There is a lot more to me. If you would really like to know more, ask.
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I have very strong feelings about music. Both musically and lyrically, it is another for of communication that can holds meanings to those that wrote it... and those that listen. I DO NOT endorse listening to the radio, but will listen to something that you can HEAR on the radio. Kind of like how I feel about television.My prefernce in music is anything that sonds good to me. I'm a very moody person, and you can usually tell how I feel by just listening to the synphonious bliss I surround myself with. If I seem to be gripped with wordlessness and lost in the bewilderment of the harmonic assembly behind me, you will know it has struck a chord somewhere deep inside me. Let me have my moment. You will notice the change.I am also working on the playlist for my wake/funeral. Sounds bleak, but anyone that knows me will understand why it's necessary.My favorite band is, and will always be, Nine Inch Nails. From Purest Feeling to the present, Trent Reznor has changed the entire music world by constantly evolving his own talents and ideas. The best way I can explain this is to tell you to go listen to Pretty Hate Machine, The Downward Spiral (try to do the Dual Disk 5.1 version with surround sound if applicable), and Year Zero. Yes, in that order... even if you don't like that kind of music. Then read a little about each album, and maybe watch a few videos, to learn more about the style/insight behind his work. This stuff gets better with every SONG, let alone album.Here is something you may find crazy, and will probably doubt, but when there is a new NIN album/song/dvd/tour that is announced something major in my life is happening... and these things will also share some kind of significance. Example:The Fragile came out the month my oldest son's mom left me. The day it came out was on my 21st birthday (literally). 9/21/1999. Ninth month, 21st day/bday, year 999. I met her when The Downward Spiral came out. My sweet Alpha and Omega...The coincidences (as most people would call them) get worse and are evident if you look closer...
I love to watch movies. I haven't been able to GO to the movies in a while, though. I usually like to go on a Sunday night, last showing... or a first showing on a Tuesday morning. That way I don't have to put up with people, and I can sit where I want without anyone within five seats of me.The only downside to going to the movies now is all the advertising BEFORE and DURING the movie. Sure... it's still entertaining, but why can't it be about the film?Marketing is the sister of propaganda, and it is everywhere.
I don't enjoy watching television. I feel it's too controlled by different organizations to force you to watch what they want.I do rent some shows on DVD. I like to watch stuff from when I was a kid and compare it to the shows on the tele now. It would shock you if you REALLY realized how stifled your viewing enjoyment is.Why do you think only a handful of your favorite shows growing up will EVER be released on DVD?Building a better America, one tele-hyptnotized household at a time...
Here is the prelude page to my nonfiction I'm working on...PreludeThis has been happening over the course of the last year. One victim after another, grizzly scenes of torture and methodical slayings have been discovered throughout the city. It has been my life for the last 364 days, and I still don’t feel any closer to catching this guy. No pattern, no real evidence, and worse of all... no witnesses. It’s almost like this guy doesn’t exist. I have had profiler after profiler come in and try to identify with this guy, but no luck on that end. Thanks to the press, the nation is watching this guy get away with one of the worst murdering sprees this world has ever witnessed… and I’m the detective letting this slip through the cracks.“No one has seen anything, like usual. You would think that with all the complaints we get about us NOT keeping these things from happening someone would say something about this! You can’t do this to someone and not make enough noise to arouse some kind of attention. The news has more info on this guy than we do.â€â€œYeah, but have you ever seen anything like this? It’s not like this is the first, and I’ve seen enough to know…â€â€œYou’re right. The thing that doesn’t make sense is nothing has happened to the few witnesses you have had in the past. So why are they afraid to talk to us now?â€â€œAfraid? You think these people are afraid? Hardly. Did you not notice who that was in there?â€â€œAll the more reason to start to worry a little more about this guy. Start small, and then you go big. Isn’t that how you make a name for yourself? He’s also moving fast… we don’t even know what he’s going to do next! Fuck!â€Yeah… fuck... stumped. That’s just what the world wants to see. The general opinion of the masses about the police isn’t exactly stellar. There have been too many cops in the past that have worn out our welcome by being corrupted, or abusing their authority. Hell, most don’t even do anything to the real crooks. They are too busy harassing the local residents and feeding this distaste for us.I can’t get the vision of this particular murder out of my head. His eyes, his mouth… the expression on his face was nightmarish. This time I could see it was personal. It almost looked like he was crying while he was being slaughtered, but there was still a smile on his face. I wonder what the other guy looked like…
Trent Reznor would be the closest thing to a hero to me. I guess that is because our existances seem to crash through each other, without either of us ever knowing one another. I don't believe in heroes, or idols. I do believe in wisdom and inspiration. So to those out there that have helped me realize what I feel to be real...Thank you, and I love you.