'80s music, a game of you, accents, acting, all the wrong girls, alternate realities, anais nin, androgyny, arcana, atom egoyan, bad movies, basketball, bauhaus, being a guitar hero, being ourselves, being overly verbose, being someone else, big time sensuality, black humor, board games, c17h19no3, candles, catalyst studios, chai, chan-wook park, co-opting your interests, coen brothers, cooking, corsets, cult classics, curry, d&d, dancing, dashiell hammett, david cronenberg, david lynch, depeche mode, driving at night, easy access, erotica, eternal sunshine, exterminate all rational thought, eyeliner, fallen-away catholics, fantasy, femmes fatale, fencing, film noir, first kisses, football, geek pride, george r.r. martin, giant aquatic brazilian centipede, giving in, good grammar, goth, gothic western, green cities, h.p. lovecraft, hair bands, hard-boiled, harry potter, haruki murakami, hitting bottom, horror, hunter s. thompson, idealism, immersion, incense, industrial, invader zim, ireland, jean-pierre jeunet, john fowles, kilts, kobo abe, kult, law, leonard cohen afterworlds, lingering glances, louis armstrong, lush, lycia, mastering your language, michael gira, mike van portfleet, minimalism, minutiae, monogamy, my family, nails on skin, neil gaiman, new york city, nostalgia, nutella, nyu, obsessions, pablo neruda, philip k. dick, power relationships, quis custodiet ipsos custodes, reciprocation, reflection, remembering sammy jankis, riding the mindway, ritual, role-playing games, romanticism, ruin(s), running amok, scents, scuba diving, seamy undersides, sensory overload, shin megami tensei, silent hill, siren songs, songs in the rain, spain, spooky, stockings, strangelove, strategy, subtlety, sushi, takeshi kitano, terry gilliam, textures, the beautiful downgrade, the cure, the daily show, the english language, the ocean at night, the tower of song, things that go bump, thunderstorms, tom stoppard, too far to care, ultimate frisbee, unbearable lightness, video games, what the scanner sees, wine and chocolate, wong kar wai, wordplay, wretched excess, writing, you being someone else, your dirty whore mouth, zen.
I considered retreading familiar ground, letting you know my height, weight, drug/disease and marital status (conveniently grouped as likes), as well as some friendly yet unintimidating trivia regarding my love of dogs, candlelit dinners, and very polite sex.However, it struck me like a Minelli haymaker on the Gestian chin that such banalities are not what the monkey of my lovejungle desires. No, no. Instead, I shall keep it, how do the People say, real. Rather than regale you with tales of my nonexistent six-pack, I shall tell of you the succulent masterpiece which I will prepare for you, in which I roast a whole chicken, stuff its every orifice FULL of pepperjack cream cheese, chipotle refried beans, and the finest of organic tortilla chips purchased from the environmentally-conscious grocery of your choice, batter and deep-fry the sucker, and then present it unto you as the Chicki-changa, which will no doubt astound you with its culinary and linguistic artistry.I shall build for you a palace suitable for a queen, founded upon the skulls of your enemies, especially that bitch Susan two cubicles down, and upholstered with the leather of their very fake Kate Spade bags. Perhaps that seems unromantic, unless of course that Susan is a real bitch or perhaps you are, regardless of which you will then no doubt find it deeply satisfying and arousing. If in fact the idea does not meet with your pleasure or there is not an assortment of enemies and Susans with sufficient cranial matter upon which to build your Xanadu, I shall buy you a Pepsi. For my lady must be a Pepsi in a town full of Cokes. Or better yet, a Royal Crown or even -- oodalolly! -- a Jolt. Say no more, say no more.And when it comes time to consummate our tender tryst, I shall first travel to Madagascar and find for you the finest of ermines, which I shall then strip of their scent glands in some sort of PETA-friendly manner, perhaps by checking them for donor cards. It will please me to consequently lay out for you the finest bedchamber laden in silks and a bed the size of Noah's Ark upon which the beastly goodness of your body may frolic. I will stand astride you upon our Ark and play these glands like castanets over your naked, writhing body and there is little doubt that as their juices drip and glisten upon your perfect form, you will find yourself fervently desirous to grasp and possess my precious Locnar much as young Den once did in that timeless 80's cartoon. And it will be good.As my third-cousin once-removed Smoove says: Damn.You know by now if you are the one for me. YAR. HAR. FIDDLE-DE-DEE!
bauhaus, love and rockets, pixies, arcana, c17h19no3, depeche mode, lush, lycia, SWANS, the cure, my life with the thrill kill kult, old 97s, collide, delerium, massive attack, radiohead, jellyfish, skinny puppy, david bowie, nirvana, louis armstrong, leonard cohen, tori amos, over the rhine, tricky, sibelius' "valse triste", peter gabriel's "passion", most soundtracks with lisa gerrard, portishead, dead can dance, the dandy warhols, any industrial/ebm with a danceable beat.
brazil, oldboy, unbearable lightness of being, just about every coen brothers movie, secretary, time and tide, moulin rouge, casablanca, sonatine, shawshank redemption, lost highway, mulholland drive, fisher king, naked lunch, life of brian, dr. strangelove, a very long engagement, eternal sunshine, wong kar wai, romeo is bleeding, god of cookery, vertigo, may, the tri-color trilogy, most hong kong schlock, Japanese horror, overblown arty softcore pornography, and David Cronenberg in general.
invader zim, daily show/colbert report, food network, the wire, harvey birdman, robot chicken -- otherwise, not so much on the tv
the magus by fowles, haruki murakami, george r. r. martin, philip k. dick, tim powers, unbearable lightness of being, a prayer for owen meany, dashiell hammett, h.p. lovecraft, hunter s. thompson, gaiman, douglas adams, kobo abe, alan moore, junji ito
All my heroes are dead. Except for my parents.