the following is a list of things i detest: being awakened, little old ladies with permanent frowns, tapioca, Jen Kulick, faygo (particularly grape faygo), lazy eyes (a.k.a. "wookie eye"), dog breath (on people, not dogs), pokemon, wiggers, wet on my socks, dog throw-up, acrylic toenails, fruity pebbles, vinyl on fat chicks (who doesn't?), people that don't like jazz, being cold, ever, and being too hot in the morning. also, coffeeshops that close before 2 a.m., people that think we have some kind of bond just because we're both tattooed, soymilk, overpriced vegetables, junkies, man-boobs, seeing a stripper before noon, mimes (but only the ones that follow you all the way down the boardwalk), sit-coms, dating shows, and people that use bad grammar when you know that they know better. in conjuntion with this, let's not forget guys that think "hey, can i get witchu?" would EVER be an appropriate pick-up line, fat motorcycle cops, keanu reeves as an actor, waiting for the check at a restaurant, miatas, asian drivers, homeless people that lay on the sidewalk with one arm perpetually extended for their handout, mcdonald's, hominy, over-zealous air conditioning, people that use the time you're talking to think of their own response, and stilettos (the shoe, not the weapon). what else....how about department stores, unibrows, spandex on most mexicans, wicker furniture, the dickhead that stole my moped, country-bumpkin cornflower blue knick-knacks, and eating food with a spoon that i could be eating with a fork.
this list will be added to at random.as not to risk sounding like a bitter, hopeless pessimist that no one would dare spend any time with (except alexander) for fear of being nit-picked apart, here is a list of thing i rather enjoy: puppy breath, people that dress in costume every day (or often, at least), the smell of Murphy's oil soap, my dog's snoring head in my lap, stella artois, calves on men (i mean a muscle, not a baby cow), the 99 cent store, chuck palahniuk, spray paint, mahi mahi, nice big tattoos, asparagus, ladies with great laughs, bums yelling random shit about nixon and dentures on a street corner during lunch hour, chimichangas, tall ceilings, scottish accents, mopeds (not scooters, vespas are for ninnies), dresses, the way fake boobs float in a pool, clean sheets, power tools, trumpets, my dad's sense of humor, coca-cola with ice, big fuck-off shiny fifty-cent words, cream of wheat, hula girls, neon, brazilian food, 1970 chevelles, sake, chenille blankets, most of los angeles, heated conversations(not arguments), punctuation!?.-~/"{}, the number 7, the french language, and pink elephants.
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