meepers

well, lets see. i am probably the raddest cat on the planet. i mean seriously. i get it. i don't let the fact that i don't have thumbs stop me from opening doors, cabinets, grabbing glasses. whatever. i love breaking shit. mostly glass. i like the sound it makes, and it's fun to watch the humans yell and pull glass from their feet. Ha! thats what they get for trying to make me shit in a box like a regular cat. i can use a toilet. but mom makes dad keep the lid down, and i can't push it open. yet. but i'm working on it. i like to talk. but i can also listen. i like to pee in the sink, but i am considerate enough to do it in the bathroom. my favorite toys are meeces, and i really love tampons. un-used! god, you're gross. although there was that one time, but i swear i didn't know. i love to eat. and i love to fuck with the other cats. i mean, i gotta keep it real. i live with a fat one-eyed grumpy lump of a cat (she's a cheese addict), and i'm pretty sure my brother's gay. i mean, the guy literally LIVES in the closet. And he comes out every day to out himself, but no on really cares. Sad, really. just last week he was telling me how he walked in on mom and dad. most kids would run out, scared. he watched. he's weird. but he's my bro and i love him.