devilskater

aim s/n: ssa00
check out my band at www.vertigosun.com
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Vertigo Sun - "Plan B"

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Well, it’s time. The lights are dimming and the ambient sound of the background music is fading off. I walk across the stage, my soapbox I’m given for the forty-five minutes needed to unleash myself to the audience. I grab my instrument, sling the strap across my shoulder, rest my fingers on its cold ribbed strings, and wait for the drummer’s clicks like the last few seconds of a time bomb before the destruction occurs. The countdown begins, “snap, snap, snap, BOOM!!!” A flow of musical horror rages before the crowd. Every note and strum depicts my every movement as the sound floods my body. The adrenaline rushes through me, feeding my soul with this pleasure that I have been craving since early in my teenage life, when the infection began to consume me.
I don’t know if anyone can see past the stereotypical view of a metal-head. One who’s clothing consists of chains and spikes that hold together lengths of tattered and torn black denim and cotton. Who owns a body that possesses areas of steel loops and barbs driven through the flesh, not to mention the other areas where needles have continuously punctured the body to reveal immense murals of emotional darkness and pain. Metal has a subculture whose music is unbearable for a normal, casual human being to stomach. It is music consisting of bellyaching screams and growls, scary sounds that could compare to any wild beast. Guitars that compose machine gun blasts and window shattering squeals. I can’t always understand what drives me to crave this certain kind of lifestyle. Is it the lyrics beneath the screams? Some lyrics are more political, tales towards society and disliking of how the world is being controlled. While other lyrics are just toward personal situations, and how one feels about themselves and the life they lead. I guess it’s just how I relate to these stories, these personal experiences others have explained.
I was diagnosed with this way of life very early in my teenage years. Whether it was a destiny or just a result of my continuous mishaps and struggles through life, there is no other lifestyle I would rather embrace. The exposure to KoRn’s Life is Peachy; its pain-driven lyrics and wrath of the instrumental brutality welded me to this way of living. There was nothing I could relate to more than this musical anesthetic for emotional pain. Whenever my times were at their worst and my days were done for I would pop another dose into my ears, letting the music play along to my inner rage.
This sound became more and more the drug of my choice. As time crawled on I wanted to be more affiliated with this madness. I began attending concerts, a place where the music I indulged in everyday was celebrated. Places where creators of my mind-numbing melodies performed. The music was real here, the connection between my love and the sound couldn’t have been any more alive. I endured every lick, every chord, and every scream, with a blissful passion. I imagined myself on stage, before this sea of fans, this wave of energy passing through every host, the metal manipulating their every movement. In some places an undertow of insanity would appear, bodies spinning and colliding into one another. There I knew I was witnessing everything I ever wanted to see when I would tune out to this medicine.
The concert I attended was just a mere spark that ignited a fire of desire and ambition to create my own band. I remember conversing a good bit with friends in my high school sophomore year: Blake Landry, Spot, Clint Borque, and eventually Eric Dooley about the current situation. It was the night one of my friends (Kenny Rogers) took me out to watch a local band (Gougepod) that threw me over the edge to complete this need. The band set me in the same mood as it did when I attended the concert; just, the audience was not as massive. The show was a more face-to-face interaction, but it definitely satisfied my appetite. This was the key. Starting a local band would be the beginning of a religion that all these past events have led up to.
deviant (in cases of individuals)
deviance (in cases of behavior)
-sociologically defined as involving the violation of significant social norms held in a conventional society. The terms neither are used in a judgemental manner nor are the individals judged to be immoral or "sick"; instead, the terms refer to an absence from expected patterns of behavior by conventional society.