Professor Banana Juice - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Move aside platypus you are now only the second most absurd creation of the universe. Defying all odds against them, Professor Banana Juice have oozed forth from the deepest, darkest lunar caves where they have been sealed in cocoons for the last 14 millions years. It has been a delicate process. Bursting forth too early could potentially destroy the unprepared universe. Arriving even a moment too late could cause the Earth to implode. But the time is now right. Like a perfectly ripe avocado in a paper bag ready to be mushed into delicious guacamole. Professor Banana Juice provides a cross section of pure preposterousness. Drawing from such influences as Bob Marley, muppets, brussel sprouts, and chrono-syclastic infundibulum, their music is like no other. Their swill of aural calamity has been described as a combination of psychedelic drugs, super-funk, and commercials. It is possible that you may thoroughly enjoy Professor Banana Juice. It is also possible (infact it is 900% more likely) that you will hate them. But it is certain that you will not be indifferent towards the stylings of Professor Banana Juice. And if you happen to be indifferent to them, then you can be entirely sure that they are not a grapefruit. Whether you love or hate them, though, Professor Banana Juice makes a subtle request. Dont listen. Dont pay attention. Dont download our songs. Poke your eyes if you happen to see them walking down the street. If you happen to end up at a show, for the love of Zeus please plug your ears and turn your back to the stage. It is the least that you can do to save the world. Erratic and disheveled, Professor Banana Juice are like none other but themselves. Not even like themselves. They are really like a complete vacuum. But if you havent yet gotten your fill of groove, funk, or complex carbohydrates, then grab a glass and take a big swill of Professor Banana Juice.

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 10/1/2005
Band Members: Jason Chalmers-bass; Daniel Chalmers-drums; Josiah Hewspenski-guitar
Influences: America's Funniest Home Videos; commercials; Frank Zappa; bubble gum; pirates; Medeski Martin and Wood; subatomic particles; tofu
Sounds Like: The perfect banana dipped in the thickest peanut-butter, then coated with the finest of Belgian chocolate.
Type of Label: None

My Blog

A profuse apology from the deepest place in our bosom.

We're really sorry. REALLY sorry. For a lot of things. We've done a lot of things that would make anyone desire forgiveness of fellow human beings. First off, we're sorry that we haven't said an...
Posted by Professor Banana Juice on Sat, 14 Oct 2006 05:14:00 PST

Face melting, spine tingling, liver damaging news

You want the low-down? Alright, I'll give it to you. After numerous ridiculous happenings, we've finally decided something: while apples may not be the most delicious of fruits, they certainly provide...
Posted by Professor Banana Juice on Tue, 12 Sep 2006 05:48:00 PST

As we evolve into a fish with three eyes...

Brothers and sisters, We regret to inform you that our ever-fluctuating line-up has yet again fluctuated. Lead singer, Dave (last name removed upon singer's request), has decided to no longer continue...
Posted by Professor Banana Juice on Mon, 26 Jun 2006 11:11:00 PST

DCA sittin' back, relaxin'

We've got some solid shows lined up for you, brothers and sisters. For those of you not into the huge, loud, extravagant shows we generally play, we've got some shows lined up just for you. ...
Posted by Professor Banana Juice on Sat, 17 Jun 2006 12:37:00 PST

I smoke weed, you smoke weed, they smoke weed...

Figured it out, brothers and sisters?: If you haven't from the subject, then I guess you're not down with the good grooves of Kingston. So what's the news so solid around here? The Daniel Chalmers Aff...
Posted by Professor Banana Juice on Mon, 22 May 2006 04:58:00 PST

Read this now! Read this thoroughly! Read this funky!

Brothers and sisters, Sort of a really quick update here, but hopefully someone will read this in time. The Daniel Chalmers Affair just did a snazzy little interview and threw down an acoustic version...
Posted by Professor Banana Juice on Thu, 02 Feb 2006 01:19:00 PST

We are gathered here today...

Yo, Brothas and Sistas: I know, I know...we never really update this jive...so it's totally a bummer that when we do update it now, it's not a very happy festivity. So on that note, we regret to infor...
Posted by Professor Banana Juice on Tue, 31 Jan 2006 01:59:00 PST

Daniel Chalmers Affair @ the Elixir, Dec. 29!

Daniel Chalmers Affair @ Elixir, Dec. 29! Wassup brothers and sisters? Rock Crew has hooked us up with what is going to be an awesome show. We'll be playing the Elixir (14 Garrett ...
Posted by Professor Banana Juice on Sat, 17 Dec 2005 03:32:00 PST

KCVI show

Brothers and sisters, Thank you all for coming to the show last night. We were privelaged with all the positive energy that you filled the room with. We only asked once, and nearly everybody was up at...
Posted by Professor Banana Juice on Sun, 23 Oct 2005 09:38:00 PST