Interests? Shit, I'm interested in just about everything. I'll read almost anything that's put in front of me, and I'm practically compulsive when it comes to learning new things ... I'm a bit of a knowledge junkie, as it were. I wouldn't classify myself as a renaissance man, because no self-respecting renaissance man makes as many rude noises as me, but I'm no big dummy, either.
My big interests are music, comic books of all kinds, Transformers, sharpening my sense of humor, vampires, writing (novels, stories, etc.), reading, my rats, women who don't piss me off, fire, people falling down, misanthropy, assorted forms of childish mayhem, your mom, and pro-wrestling . . . which in and of itself disqualifies me from ever being considered a renaissance man.
The people I most want to meet are people that don't piss me off or people who will give me a whole lot of money and want nothing in return. I don't like whiny, wussy, overly-sensitive people that can't take a bloody joke, and I don't like small-minded dumbasses that try to impose their viewpoints and perceptions on me. If you don't like me, bugger off. However, if you're Ginger Spice, Julie Newmar, or Lily Munster, call me.
I also wish I could meet Johnny Thunders, who unfortunately is currently dead, so I could shake his hand for vomiting all over the French press back in the 70's. It don't get much more rock 'n roll than that. GO GO, GO JOHNNY THUNDERS!
Oh gawd, music ... I don't do drugs, I don't drink, and I don't smoke because music is the only addiction I need. It's a source of inspiration, solace, entertainment, and a little of everything else for me. I'd mainline it straight into my brain if I could. I work in a music store and constantly read about different music, so I'm a hopeless addict that just keeps feeding his habit.
Let's see here, I like Faith No More, L.A. Guns, Roxx Gang, Hanoi Rocks, Theatre of Tragedy, Moonspell, Motley Crue, the Spice Girls, Geri Halliwell, the Stooges, Iggy Pop, W.A.S.P., the Cult, Iron Fuckin' Maiden, the Misfits, Black Sabbath, Black 'n Blue, Vain, Shotgun Messiah, Megadeth, Anthrax, Slayer, Testament, Exodus, Warlock, Doro Pesch, Dio, the Darkness, Marilyn Manson, Loud 'n Nasty, Guns 'n Roses, Witchcraft, Death Angel, Coven, Ratt, Poison, Venom, Witchery, Fireball Ministry, Killswitch Engage, KMFDM, Lullacry, New York Dolls, the Doors, Hellacopters, Poisonblack, Murder City Devils, Nightwish, Twisted Sister, Widowmaker, AC/DC,
D'Priest, Kiss, Lordi, 69 Eyes, HIM, Morningwood, the Scorpions, Billy Idol, Accept, Danzig, Samhain, Crashdiet, Girlschool, Dr. Hook, Midnattsol, Angel (1970's & the modern one), Starz, David Bowie, Tristania, Sirenia, the Donnas, the Dictators, Murderdolls, Wednesday 13, Frankenstein Drag Queens From Planet 13, Burning Retina, Tomahawk, Mr. Bungle, the Ramones, Sahara Hotnights, the Rolling Stones, Murder City Devils, Leaves' Eyes, Cradle of Filth, Lacuna Coil, White Zombie/Rob Zombie, Electric Six, Armored Saint, Charon, Edguy, Dollhouse, Forever Slave, Garbage, Fastway, Motorhead, Sammy Cur, T. Rex, Siouxsie & The Banshees, Pentagram, Hyrdrogyn, Girl, Shadows Fall, the Sweet, Tigertailz, Gene Loves Jezebel, Great White, Nasty Idols, Machine Gun Kelly, Warrior, EZO, Super Junky Monkey, Balzac, Loudness, David Lee Roth, Alice Cooper, Electric Hellfire Club, Kill Cheerleader, Def Leppard, Rage Against The Machine, Primal Fear, Edguy, Dream Evil, Skew Siskin, Backyard Babies, Children of Bodom, L7, the Shocker, the Lunachicks, Phantom Blue, My Ruin, Elis, Benedictum, Danko Jones, The Traceelords, Gorillaz, Kid Ego, Damone, WWIII, the Hollywood Roses and about a million others.
Basically, I'm HUGE into heavy metal in many of its mutant forms, with a steadily-growing emphasis on the really heavy, crushing stuff, as long as it has some form of melody to it. I also absolutely hate power ballads. I'd rather punch myself in the nuts than listen to another piece of shit power ballad ever again. Stuff like "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" belongs in one of two places: a school dance full of idiot teenagers clumsily groping one another or a landfill. Fuck that.
I also have an affection for the blues, and while I can't stand modern rap, I love Run-D.M.C., the Beastie Boys' first album (they seriously began to suck after that one moment of brilliance), and other old-school rappers. Public Enemy also kicks all kinds of ass, and N.W.A. will always be killer. And I HATE modern rap-rock, too ... that belongs in a landfill right next to power ballads.
I can't abide most modern country, but the miserable old stuff about whiskey-drinking, ass-kicking, and killing people just to watch them die has its appeal. I also love the very first wild man of rock 'n roll, Screamin' Jay Hawkins, who was the Marilyn Manson of the 1950's and had a ball scaring the shit out of nervous white folk everywhere.
Probably my two favorite movies of all-time are UHF and Gremlins 2, which are unadulterated genius. I also rather enjoy George Romero's work, the Planet of the Apes series, Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas, as well as most of John Carpenter's films, and I get quite a kick out of Robert Rodriguez's Mexico Trilogy.
Horror, action, comedy, zombies, science-fiction, and that kind of thing generally entertain me, though I'm really starting to prefer older movies to newer ones, because a lot of newer movies are just shitty, unimaginiative, CGI-laden rehashes of stuff that was worn-out back in the 70's or earlier. Musicals infuriate me, and so do romantic comedies, and I'll go to great lengths to avoid them. I'd also like to shoot Ben Stiller in the face with a bazooka, preferably while Owen Wilson is right behind him. How many movies do those assholes have to be in?
We also can't forget the unforgettable Japanese cult classic, Vengeance!! Super Lifeform Penisaurus, GO!
I also enjoy ALL of the Star Wars films, and I don't give it a shit if they're the special edition, the "Greedo Shot First" edition, prequel, sequel, original, new, or what the fuck ever. I take them for what they are: entertaining, decently-plotted sci-fi movies for 12 year-old boys. If you've built your life around them and that perspective bothers you ... GOOD. I hope Lucas makes another fucking trilogy before he croaks, and if he does, I KNOW that you'll be the first one in line to see them, whining and bitching in your Stormtrooper costume, no less, and I'm going to point and laugh at you. And if you don't go see it, I'll go see it twice.
I don't watch a lot of television, and have begun to actively avoid it most of the time, mainly because the vast majority of TV annoys, or bores, the hell out of me. I do rather like cartoons and pro-wrestling, which are essentially the same thing, and old sitcoms, especially Sanford & Son, The Jeffersons, and All In The Family. Robot Chicken, The Boondocks, and Metalacolypse are also worthwhile.
In addition, I find the original Star Trek, where Captain James T. Kirk gleefully fist-fights and wantonly fucks his way across the galaxy to be immensely entertaining. The other shows were cool, but none of them had so many delightfully stupid moments occurring, and to me, that's part of the charm. To be both pioneering and unashamedly ridiculous is something to be proud of. I also enjoy watching the red-shirts die ... whether they're killed by an android or crushed by some granite, Bones will look at Jim and say, "I'm just a doctor, dammit!"
I constantly read and will read just about anything horror, sci-fi, humorous, or music-related. I greatly enjoy the works of H.P. Lovecraft, Stephen King, Brian Keene, Nancy Collins, Carrie Vaughn, Laurell K. Hamilton, Anne Rice, Chuck Klosterman, Neil Postman, Peter David, Diane Duane, Diane Carey, and on and on and on.
I also read a lot of comic books.
My heroes? First and foremost, my dad, because he was one of the smartest, toughest, funniest motherfuckers that ever lived. To say that he rocked would be an understatement.
Frank Miller - He wrote The Dark Knight Returns, a story I'm still in awe of nearly two decades after reading it for the first time. If I can write a story like that someday, I'm gonna be a pretty bitchin' cat.
Alan Moore - One of the greatest storytellers in any medium, I aspire to his multifaceted talent and ability.
Warren Ellis - Cosmic.
Garth Ennis - One of the darkest, most messed-up, and unrelentingly funny writers on the planet.
H.P. Lovecraft - I rip stuff off of him all the time, and probably will for the rest of my life. His stuff is truly scary as hell.
Andy McCoy - One of the only men alive that can write a heartfelt love song without coming off like a complete pussy in any way. This man pisses all over sappy power-ballads. Ever hear "Until I Get You" by Hanoi Rocks? 'Nuff said.
George Carlin - Acidic, vicious, vile, and extremely intelligent, not to mention totally hilarious. George Carlin is one of the greatest misanthropists I've ever seen, and unlike many misanthropes, he chooses to make his disgust of humanity into something entertaining and even enlightening, and doesn't take himself too seriously. Just as Archie Bunker was said to be a lovable bigot, George is a playful misanthrope. If I ever take a backhoe to the Enchanted Castle and dig up Walt Disney's frozen body, I'm taking George along for the ride.
Emperor Palpatine - The single most important character in the Star Wars universe, a truly wily and motivated bastard of a man, and a guy that knew how to get things DONE. If I can be half as successful as the esteemed Mr. Palpatine in my own endeavors, I'll be an accomplished individual indeed.
Robert Rodriguez - I dunno about Spy Kids or Zorro, as I've never watched 'em, but his Mariachi Trilogy is awesome, and I worship the ground that Desperado spills blood on. He made one of the greatest movies ever made, and it inspired one of the greatest characters I've ever created, so yeah, Robert's in like Flynn.
Batman - Batman kicks EVERYBODY'S ass. Batman can kick my ass, and he can sure as hell kick yours. A self-made man that turned himself into a one-man army on crime, and a guy that can make you piss your pants with just one word. Batman is the fucking man.
Optimus Prime - Fucking laugh at me all you want, but I'd follow him to the gates of Hell and march right on in if he was leading the charge. The archetype for the strong benevolent leader who lead by example, but could still hang with the boys, and who was peace-loving, but wasn't afraid to kick the shit out of anybody if they threatened that peace or an innocent life. The one guy who could possibly take Batman down.