heather profile picture

heather

'it is better to speak/remembering/we were never meant to survive'

About Me

pixie, or so they say (but really i'm just a girl). always searching, then unexpectedly finding. musician. sometimes writer. freak. believer in love and synchronicity and hope. especially hope. radical feminist/anti-oppression idealist. huge heart and overly sensitive digestive tract. i like books. and kisses. and wild abandon rooted in sensitivity. and myself, a little more each day.

**

i have chronic/late-stage lyme disease, and i'm always available to answer any questions you may have about lyme or other tick-borne diseases.

please see
here /
for more information.
**

my livejournal, where i keep most of my random/inconsequential/self-obsessed thoughts:

http://softanimal.livejournal.com

My Interests

laughing//loving//LIVING//social justice//everything queer//feminism//anti-racism//anti-war//disability rights//fierce femme women//gender fuckers//stompy black boots//monarch butterflies//tattoos//new york city, especially brooklyn and its purple nights, fire escapes, and perched rooftops//letting go//a lesson in all things//stripped inhibition//booksbooksbooks//writing, scribbling below the yellow moon//art//my violin//learning guitar//music as a first language//the blue half hour//healing//herbal medicine//energetic medicine//spiritual growth//yoga//playful dance of light and shadow//unconditional love//my kitten-babies//poetry as bread and breath//happy green alive things//quiet darkness//true friends//small moments//beauty is right here//living inside breath//acceptance//the blackest night//thunderstorm explosions, torrents in sheets//second chances//third chances//chronic illness//chronic lyme disease and kicking its ass//never giving up.

I'd like to meet:

queer/genderqueer/activisty people. quiet, introspective, healing-focused people. those who know firsthand the precious fragility of life. rumi. alice walker. partners in frolicking & reverie. wide open wails. wide open hearts. dreamers, creators, shifters, magic makers, spelunkers, kin.

Music:

ani difranco, melissa ferrick, natalia zukerman, pamela means, tori amos, nina simone, janis joplin, bjork, pj harvey, meshell ndegeocello, girlyman, ellis, billie holiday, miles davis, ella fitzgerald, stephane grappelli, johnny cash, gillian welch, edie carey, jonatha brooke, vicki genfan, stravinsky, bach, brahms, shostakovich, prokofiev, ravel, mozart, late beethoven, bartok, correo aereo, klesmer music, middle eastern music, world music of all kinds, bob marley, crooked still, andrew bird, mark o'connor, sweet honey in the rock, toshi reagon, jacqueline dupre, nadja salerno-sonnenberg, zap mama, susana baca, aretha franklin, patti smith, erika luckett, natacha atlas, evelyn glennie, bobby mcferrin, patty griffin, patty larkin, the dresden dolls, amanda palmer, regina spektor, dayna kurtz, india.arie, erykah badu, lauryn hill, le tigre, indigo girls, the cure, joni mitchell, doria roberts, noe venable, bitch, antibalas, my awesome friend apryl electra, and i'm sure there's more..

Movies:

dancer in the dark, the piano, but i'm a cheerleader, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, bowling for columbine, sicko, lost and delirious, the red violin, bamboozled, amelie, life and debt, waking life, amandla!.

Television:

the l word. six feet under. grey's anatomy.

Books:

one hundred years of solitude, by gabriel garcia marquez; everything by audre lorde; jeanette winterson; michelle tea; alice walker; danzy senna; francesca lia block; anais nin; toni morrison; the secret life of bees, sue monk kidd; a people's history of the united states, howard zinn; this bridge called my back: writings by radical women of color; the alchemy of illness, by kat duff; everything by bell hooks; invisible man, by ralph ellison; the house on mango street, by sandra cisneros; borderlands, la frontera, by gloria anzaldua; also hannah arendt, noam chomsky, michel foucault; gender/queer theory, esp. leslie feinberg and kate bornstein; dorothy allison; peggy munson; james baldwin; poetry by lucille clifton, adrienne rich, audre lorde, pablo neruda, mary oliver, chrystos, nikki giovanni, saul williams, sekou sundiata, sarah jones, lenelle moise, marty mcconnell, rachel mckibbens, anne sexton, marie howe, jeffrey macdaniel, alice walker, naomi shihab-nye, roger bonair-agard, andrea gibson, margaret atwood, marge piercy, e.e. cummings; tons more. mmmmm, books!

Heroes:

mostly this amazing girl (liberty rebekah):also, mary west, my amazing childhood violin teacher. audre lorde. sojourner truth. angela davis. alice walker. inga muscio. leslie feinberg. assata shakur. frida kahlo. bell hooks. arundhati roy. everyone who never gives up on hope. people surviving the everyday with chronic illness and/or pain. dr. charles ray jones , dedicated and loving warrior healer, the only practicing Lyme pediatrician in the country.

My Blog

week-long flu

i’ve been gnawing my lower lip raw. something about the salt-metal sting, how it tastes to be alive. the precise bloom of iron on fur-lined tongue, a rose. a memory larger than these four walls,...
Posted by heather on Mon, 24 Mar 2008 11:48:00 PST

(excuse the deluge of old posts. this one’s from june.)

climate changemy eyes are two parched desert craters begging for rainhow many nights like this one limbs furled close, tears staining my mother's faux feather pillowsam i 7 or am i 26 now, doesit matt...
Posted by heather on Sun, 10 Feb 2008 02:37:00 PST

disinheritance.

i'm missing so many people. it's always this late hour when the ache creeps in, alone with a silence so loud it's all i hear. a slow shadow under my bedroom door. one lone woman crying into the paypho...
Posted by heather on Sun, 10 Feb 2008 02:33:00 PST

(from december)

i don't want illness to swallow me, chew down to bone the parts that live separately from it, in spite of it. the lion's roar, the symphony inside that never stops singing, however faintly; my exubera...
Posted by heather on Sun, 10 Feb 2008 02:31:00 PST

heart&home

tonight my heart coughed, then held its breath blue before it lurched forward again, a pebble hurtling downhill. the past three days i've forgotten my medication entirely. a consequence of hopping cou...
Posted by heather on Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:02:00 PST

attempt at normalcy.

the radiator in our apartment coughs and sputters, straining to reach 63 by nightfall. i spent today in bed, comma-curled, watched as the watery light against my window swelled and faded, washed me in...
Posted by heather on Mon, 17 Dec 2007 01:06:00 PST

locked tears.

you know when you need to cry so badly you're sure your head or heart or body is about to explode, but nothing comes? a sky so swollen with rain, tumid clouds drooping like udders ready to burst, how ...
Posted by heather on Sun, 28 Oct 2007 12:42:00 PST

relapse (early september).

what part is the lyme and what part is me? how do i differentiate, separate, hold this small, quivering sense of self in my palms? how do i keep it from slipping, keep it alive? i've always been clums...
Posted by heather on Sat, 06 Oct 2007 08:33:00 PST

written on the body

my belly is fleshed outward, swollen with late summer heat and a sudden increase in appetite. tiny translucent rivers snake from curved hip to thigh, marking each year, inch, breath survived; we grow ...
Posted by heather on Thu, 06 Sep 2007 11:35:00 PST

tired & dreaming.

a morning prayer from the neighborhood mosque floats in broken wisps through my window. i squint up at the too-bright white sky, will myself awake one limb, one joint at a time. exhaustion sits heavy ...
Posted by heather on Sun, 29 Apr 2007 06:41:00 PST