so, i thought i had it all together - an aries with a life plan. then, this guy, mark, messaged me back in jan '07. he was a smooth talker (writer?) whose wit and finesse intrigued me enough to drive down to las cruces, nm (ALONE, like some dumb bitch) for what he assured me to be "good food and a fun night." i wanted assurance that his kids wouldn't be around (kids just complicate things). for a week i assured him that the only thing that would keep me away from our date was "if my truck were to break down." finally, he asked what was wrong with my truck. "nothing" i assured him. "i'm just saying that's the only thing that would keep me away." well, about 40 minutes outside of las cruces, my truck broke down. eventually, this knight in a white pathfinder came to my rescue - even better looking than his pics. the repair of the fuel pump was going to keep me in las cruces longer than intended. (that meant the kids were going to be around some - that turned out to be ok 'cause they are some genuinely amazing fucking kids.) AND THEN, i got so sick that i could not even get out of bed. mark and his kids took great care of me and my dog; nursing me back to health with chicken-lemongrass soup (yummm!). when my health returned, i helped mark put his apt into storage. the intention of one night turned into a week and a half before we came up to my place where we spent another week and a half. then, mark had to leave for the middle east (that was part of the deal and we both knew it). hundereds of dollars in phone bills later (we talked almost every day), i found myself out in doha, qatar with him. i returned home after three weeks and he was back less than a week after that. though i have never been one for kids, he is a father who cannot live without his. we picked them up on the pretense of a visit back in june and never returned them. i have become a de facto mother (step-mother...whatever). it is the most rediculous thing i have ever done, but i keep hearing i am pretty good at it (which i can only attribute to being raised by an amazing woman). some days are harder than others in my home...just a cliche because "that's life." the kids make my job around here reasonably easy (considering they ARE just kids). mark and i...living together, mark and i have grown so much as human beings and as a couple...it's difficult to put into words how well we balance AND compliment each other. things are not always perfect (and anybody who tries to describe living with another person as "perfect" is a fucking liar), but our arguements are usually dumb and we are able to get past shit in a reasonable amount of time. in the end, all i know is this: i usually get tired of fucking the same guy after 3-4 months...(as i write this) today is 10 months and i CAN NOT get enough of this guy. in these times, in our sex-laden culture, i hold no stock in monogamy, but there is not one ounce of me that desires to stray. he has left me unsure of who i was, but feeling secure in who i am becoming.
my life's goal is to step foot in every country and taste food from every culture around the world.
