Cooking (it's a Zen thing), eating (also a Zen thing), bullshitting, politics, history, philosophy, coffee, conquest, land, and gold!
While the end game of my life is to meet trashy blondes, I also like people who aren't afraid to be themselves under any circumstances. I think that may be the single most appealing trait a person can have. I'd go hunting with Dick Cheney if I could work with Peter O'Toole, Paul Newman (although he's retired from acting), Colin Firth, Clive Owen, Denzel Washington or Paris Hilton. (She's trashy and blonde, put it together.)
My first CD was Robert Palmer's "Heavy Nova." Although I haven't listened to it for a while now. Word is, it still holds up. When I'm not bumping those funky beats, I mostly listen to music that my friends like, and then try to pawn it off to my other friends as my own distinguished taste. Speaking of which have you heard the new Garth Brooks? It's out of this world!
Bull Durham, Cool Hand Luke, Major League, Casablanca, Network, Rushmore, The Lion in Winter, Pulp Fiction, Shawshank Redemption, The Verdict, The Sting, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Brazil and I always cry at the end of Field of Dreams. If you don't, then you're either inhuman, or you clearly do not have the same daddy-issues that I do.
When I was four years old I thought that I invented SPEED RACER. I still live with that. I was in the final lap of a tricycle race at recess, being hotly pursued by that one kid that smelled like pepper. (you know the one) Sweat poured from my tiny body as I crossed the finish-line, just barely beating out that-one-kid in a super-human feat of pedalling. I leapt off, pumped my four-year-old-fist in the air and yelled, "SPEED RACER!" at some antennas above the school. Now, this isn't quite as "special" as it sounds, and no I was not developmentally challenged. You see, this is where I thought TV lived collectively as a tyke. (That's not crazy, right?) So you can imagine my amazement, when later that day, as I was watching cartoons, there was an commercial for SPEED RACER. I thought, "My GOD! TV heard me!" Then I thought, "Fuck! TV stole my idea!" I even told my babysitter and his friends. They were having a discourse in "big-kid talk" when I casually mentioned that I had invented SPEED RACER. I just threw it out there. I hoped it would impress my older and more cultured ten-year-old friends, as my four-year-old friends couldn't even begin to grasp the implications of their preschool classmate being the creator of a cartoon show. Afterall, I was going to be famous, I needed better friends. So, I told them. The older kids looked at me like I was retarded. It was just like that scene in a "Christmas Story" when Ralphie tries to oh so casually put the hints in about the Red Rider bee bee gun, "with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time," as he says to his family, "Schwartz saw some grizzly bears down by Polaski's candy store." My babysitter and his friends looked at me like Ralphie's family looked at him, as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears. Still I remained vigilant, as their snide remarks of, "You didn't hit your head again, did you?" and "No you didn't." did little to affect me beliefs. After years of therapy, the medical team had a breakthrough. My therapist kindly informed me that the show had been around since the 60's. It was a sad day indeed. Also I cried during a BAYWATCH episode. (See above daddy-issues)
I usually leaf through the erotic photo books at Barnes and Noble. Very classy and arty stuff. Besides that, I try to impress people by telling them that I like: Guns Germs and Steel, A Confederacy of Dunces, Respect for Acting, Treasure Island, What Matters Most is How Well You Walk Through the Fire, The Lone Ranger and Tanto Fistfight in Heaven, The Famished Road, Red Harvest, Hamlet, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Hobbit, Wind in the Willows, Nineteen Eighty-four, Catcher in the Rye, A Million Little Pieces (I've had three models each suggest this fine non-fiction work to me), Any babysitter's club, the collected works of VC Andrews, Goodnight Moon (I still cry), Time-Life's World War Two collection, A World Lit Only by Fire, Raymond Carver short fiction and Charles Bukowski poetry. Also, I try to woo women with Edna St. Vincent Millay and impress them with TS Elliot and when I need a pick-me-up I reach for the Nietzsche. ------Also, the US congress comes out with this book each year called, "The Budget." It's some of the best fictional-escapism I've ever read. Where do they come up with this stuff! Amazing.
I was named after Neal Cassady, just throwing that out there, Bill Hicks, Paul Newman, Campbell Scott, Peter Sellers, Steve Mcqueen, Jim Rockford, Bill Murray, Laurence Olivier, Bugs Bunny, Hunter S. Thompson, Humphrey Bogart, Eric Stratton (Rush Chairman), Trent Walker (Vince V.), Elvis Presley, Christopher Walken, Charles Bukowski, Cary Grant (yes, I'm aware of the irony of these two being next to each other, let alone on the same list) Peter O'Toole, Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Denzel Washington, Phil Hartman, Dana Carvey, Sam Shepard, James Fucking Bond, Ferris Bueller, John Bender (The Breakfast Club), Jack Nicholson (My dad and he look more alike every day. It's really creepy, but cool.), Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes, (Hobbes is great and all, but it's Calvin's show) and I don't know if I can really count him as a hero, but I have to say I like what George Clooney's doing these days. Keep it up George. Also Tom Ford, that guy gets all the girls. He's what? You're kidding!---------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------------------One more thing: Dennis Miller would have made this list before the Bush administration came into office. All of these people represent cult-heroes of my father, my brother and myself. We used to quote Dennis Miller around the dinner table and marvel at the man's laser-guided intellect. We celebrated with the rest of literate America when Dennis Miller was brought on board to Monday Night Football. I still remember his first broadcast: "The Hall of Fame Game" in Canton, Ohio. It's preseason football, but Dennis was in mid-season form when he quipped, "Interestingly enough you can't find any good Cantonese food here in Canton, Ohio." Brilliant! It was under these circumstances that my brother got us tickets to his live show in Seattle. We suffered through three warm-up acts while waiting for our comic guru to appear. Finally, after the last sad comedian thanked us and told us to have a good night, he appeared in all the glory that a man of 5'9" could muster. He started off with a couple of quick jabs at the slack-jawed troglodytes of middle-America (a coastal crowd-pleasing favorite) and then launched into his, "I don't want go off on a rant here" speech. So far my brother and I were getting what was advertised: critical thinking to combat the whackjobs of the American landscape. Then, without warning, he started what sounded like some pro-Bush diatribe. It was an unpleasant bump in the road at the time, but it would prove to be the beginning of the end. After 2000 he's become a mouthpiece for the right. Just because I disagree with what he says doesn't mean I think he's no longer as smart, to the contrary. I think Dennis Miller is an insightful genius, I just wish he was using his powers for the forces of good and to be funny again. So: Dennis Miller. (kind of)