I'm an extremely large fan of salt. My mom salted my baby food, it's not my fault. I don't really know how I feel about ketchup...let's say we have an open relationship. I'm still seeing other condiments. Like salt. I also really love salmon. Sometimes, I want to be a salmon when I grow up. Or a journalist, whatever comes first. I was raised by a band of lesbians. I love my cowboy boots. I like to drink whiskey. So much, in fact, that I reserve an entire day every week specifically designated for the drinking of whiskey. I like to swear. I like even more to swear in Spanish. My sister had children so I don't have to, and I love them with all my little heart. Thanks, Sis. I like to show off battle wounds and I like even more when I get them. I've been riding motorcycles since I was six years old. My dog is pretty much the most important thing in my life, don't take it personally, I think you're swell, but chances are good that I like my dog more than you. I think that certain things that most people think aren't good for you are actually crucial to my existence. I'm a professional at what I do, so don't question my motives.
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