.. width="425" height="350" ..Look, I know it's been a while, but these things come in phases. A phase at the moment called boredom. Saddam Hussein hanged, useful bit of gore porn for the International media once again, and with any luck, the video will be up on youtube by now! Interesting that, we have been alive for the biggest attack on the USA, ever, the whole 11/11 thing, stem cell research, cloning, the internet, mobile phones, Lord Of The Rings, the end of the Concorde, the end of James Brown AND Barry White, mass communication on a hitherto un thought of scale, globalisation, the X-Box 360, the Wii, The PS3 soon enough... The end of Wimbledon as being a fun place to go out: Im sure when I used to go out drinkin in Wimbledon when I was 16 was soooooo much better! Last night, if it wasn't over 21's (Moonshine & Lewis bein young noobs), you weren't allowed trainers, you had to pay to get in, or it was the Alex, which is bate. Oh, an you can't climb into South Park Gardens any more, IT IS THE END OF EVERYTHING! What the fuck does the younger generation do now if they cant even go for a pint in their home town on a friday night? ANSWER ME! What a sorry state of affairs, I tell you.GO FUCK YOUR FUCKING SELF. GO ON, FUCK OFF, DON'T LOOK AT IT, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!.. width="425" height="350" ..............I rant, thats me. All my mates go on about it, and thats where I believe true mates step in whilst not-so-true mates kinda shy away and then call you a cunt behind your back. A true friend will tell me to fuck off in the middle of yet another 2000 word soliloquy on why I don't like, lets see, yesterday I was ranting about the Union Jack, and how I'd never hang the fucking thing on a flag pole, for my lack of being from 4 different countries simultaneously. It's so easy to start complainng about something, dissecting it into tiny pieces in order to make it easier to criticise. Lately, I've seen alot on myspace I'd like to rant about, like home made football videos, but my main thing of the moment are those base and evil motherfuckers that seem to wanna cut the fins off of basking sharks for fucking soup and that wanna harpoon Orca whales and sell what they pass off as 'scientific research'. And for what mighty purpose? The Japanese sex drive. Now, we've all seen the novelty Japanese condoms etc, we get the point, but these mighty creatures that are senselessly killed are for the purpose of useless aphrodisiacs. How fucking sad. Said that yesterday, you couldn't eat a turtle, they're just too nice! This sentiment doesn't extend to cows and pigs mind, they're bred specifically for the purpose and aren't ever going to be close to extinction. Not on my watch! I believe in many, many contradictions, and I'm rather a hypocrite when the mood hits me. I might say something, and then oppose it soon after, but I strongly believe that you should be able to argue any side of an argument to its end. I have been told that this is not a good way to conduct an argument, and that I just try to aggravate people, which is true by the way, but I have my opinions! I just enjoy a good argument and everything that goes with it. Talking about arguments, the World Cup is on at the moment, and I believe that Lennon should be played against Paraguay tomorrow, what with our fucking decent 4-5-1 formation consisiting of no other than Beckham, Cole, GERRARD, Carrick (c'est possible) and Lampard in the middle, not forgetting 1st place Wayne up front! We should take the South Americans apart, seeing as they only really beat a bad Poland squad and fucking Costa Rica, even losing 3-0 to the Germany squad, but England always want to give us a nail biting match. I blame it on the ratings. I jus think that young Aaron could stir things up a bit, but I'm no real football pundit. But, still, come on football! Aha! No football pundit indeed, I said Lennon would tear it up, but why for the last fucking ten minutes? Its getting too late to think about using the young fellers now I feel, but we won, we're hectic and now we gotta beat Portugal without one of their best players etc etc, you all know already! 270 minutes of football left potentially, its all too tense!!! Well, that was all a bit pointless?!?! So we lost to Portugese cheats, but ol' Wayne DID stamp on his googlies etc, but at least THEY lost, and the finals are tomorrow, oh yeah! Operation Global Storm is well on it's way, I am Colonel von Wolfenstein, shock commander! Gimme a belt of frag grenades, a .357 python, maybe a big fucking M-16 (with the grenade launcher), a SIG SG 543, a big 'ol hunting knife, maybe even a Deagle, or a sawn-off 12 gauge, and bring on the zombies! Ahh, to sleep, perchance to dream, I wish I could sleep properly, I want to, but I just fucking CAN'T! Bollocks, staring at the ceiling doesn't work, and there's only so much shit I can type during one sitting. Maybe I should keep a bottle of yak by my bed, or just a mini-bar... Mans found a double matress for my new BIG room next year, so watch out freshers of Leicester next year, cos Im gonna live 20 seconds staggerin from the union, and Ive been doing those towell excercises I saw in FHM once... Towell's a funny word to write, and now I think about it, kinda weird to say. Towell. Towell. Say any word enough times and it loses its meaning, sad really, a bit like me. Why can't she be mine? I wish I was more attractive like Dagless. Still, one can only dream. I'm a one track lover, down a two way lane, drivin' fast down the highway, must have been insane. 'Cos the temperatures too high! Drivin' way too fast, and I knew our lovin', was too hot to last (SOLO) "She's smooth, like ice, cold to the touch and it isn't very nice, when you left (to the touch) alone, let her treat you bad left you hangin' on the phone, take (hard enough)... and so on and so forth. Peace. Well, I'm back from Finland and Sweden now, feeling totally chilled and disillusioned with the majority of British women to be quite honest, there must be something in the water you know? Damn good, some real dancing, some getting drunk in Helsinki, sauna, swimming in lakes, all done the proper way, damn naked! Wooooooooo, Suomi! The deal has changed avid readers, I now have no hope for your souls. Living and breathing in the modern western world is tantamount to bungee jumping with towing cable; no matter how much fun you have, your legs are still going to get ripped off. You know what I mean? Who the fuck are you, little man? You come in here, treat it like your own front room, but when you're out, you're the meekest little nothing FUCK I have ever seen, little man. Fuck you, what are you going to do? Wait till my back is turned, thats what. Little man. You take the papers out of the pack to get at the green card. Take the green card in one hand and tear the reuired amount off. roll between thumb an forefinger until tube-like. unroll and fold the starting end the opposite way to the roll. Roll up again for a 'S' roach. Place to the left of the paper, and add baccy to taste. Next, take bud between thumb and forefinger, or in a crusher and transform into a powder, then spinkle onto the paper and baccy (note: leave a 5mm gap next to the roach without bud, for economics sake). between thumbs and forefingers, practice your Play-do skills and ake a fine sausage. Then roll the paper towards yourself until it only just covers the sausage of mixture. Lick tips of forefingers, then lick the arabic gum on the paper and roll upwards. If THAT wont get you lean, add more punk. Peace. Life's a funny thing, you wake up in the mornin and wait for something to happen. They say a bored person is boring, but you just wait... Gimme a few years, and the things to do will lay at MY feet, now I got some money in the bank at least. I'm fucking off I am, fuck this country and paying for the fucking Olympics, what the fuck do I care about East London? As much as they care for the south I suppose, we under the same boat. The British Olympics, paid for by fucking Londoners. Taken for mugs again, but its still the greatest city in the world. Im not hangin about, got my money sat there all cozy like, makin interest, ready for my plane flight to greener pastures, literally. Peace. The problem with the 5-0 has got to be that they're human. There's too much grey area within the law, too much paperwork, and too many fuckin plastic 'community support officers' about. We're cotchin on the common and one of those 5 series cop cars pulls up and just stares at us, for time. We're blazin an obviously gettin a little shook cos some copper's starin us down from like 50 metres away. We think were bein clocked, there's no point gettin up, as its just a little bate. Here's the problem with the grey area: A cop comes up to you and yer clocked with a zoot, or a baggie or sommat. He can be one of a few people, he could be a toker himself, not bothered about lads sittin on the grass doin no harm, or his brother could be a smackhead, or lost a mate to drugs, or is just an officious wanker, and your fate lies within his or her hands. Its fuckin up to them if you get nicked! Damn, it shouldn't fuckin be. But then you think, shit, they're jus people (only just) too, its half 6, maybe their shift finishes at 7 and they wanna cotch for a while where its quiet and they can just prang the stoners. Shitted up Len a bit when he went for a piss, they started pullin out as soon as he got up, but it was like 5 to 7, an they fucked off. Weird shit is authority.
Harry Duncton's sexual nickname:
"Trouser Anaconda"
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Myspace Backgrounds at Crucials.com..From: JOURNAL OF NONVERBAL BEHAVIOR - NIGEL BARBER
"Although there is some controversy about whether mens facial hair is attractive to women, most of the research on this issue has produced positive findings. Pellegrini (1973) performed an experiment in social perception in which women and men evaluated stimulus pictures of college men that varied systematically in level of facial hair (full beard, goatee and moustache, moustache only, clean-shaven). The more hair the faces had, the more favorably they were perceived. Bearded faces were seen as being more physically attractive, industrious, creative, masculine, dominant, and mature by both men and women, qualities that would enhance perceived mate value. Evolutionary psychologists have provided a clear rationale for women being attracted by such traits as predictive of reproductive maturity, biological quality, and capacity to invest in children and there is good evidence that choice of a husband is affected by these criteria (see Barber, 1995). Thus, women are attracted by indicators of high social status and personal traits like industriousness that predict social mobility."
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