Ben

Sometimes i wonder for hours on end about my future, and where i am headed. I worry that my lack of motivation for the present will leave me uncultured and alone. I have dark moments in which any outlook is bleak, but i think a lot about the purely chemical basis of depression (no im not on prozac or anything) and this makes me feel better. everything is only a temporary situation nothing stays the same. its all change.i used to go to college (university) but ended up partying too much to realise that i wasnt cut out for the classes i was meant to be going to, and while i had an awesome time, lost a lot of my friends and my sense of direction. I am now considering my self a recovering substance abuser, but have fallen of the wagon of moderation only a few times. Recently i went on a six day roadtrip, sleeping in a tiny car with a friend named casey, who is headed back to the states soon. this was great, but now i am on a downward slope, and i feel like im looking for something. Darn do i go on or what? hahaha.