You will have to make sense of my life somehow

About Me

I WAS happily married to my best friend and soul mate who i will always luv forever and always!I wear all our wedding and engagement and anniversary rings on my left ring finger. I have 3 children.2 girls and a boy. The oldest is into japan and the music and movies from there. She has a few piercing that I have let her get for her birthdays and tattoos to her daddy!.She has plans to move to Japan!!She is a long legged tall redhead!!She studies the japanese language also!She is my savior right now..alot of help!! The middle is my old soul. Knows everything and worries about it all....I worry about her!!She is sooo grown up!!!The boy is into BMX and TKD and ps2 and wii and world war2 and I believe more angry than he shows about this past yr!I love dogs especially big ones and take in dogs all the time ,to find homes for, if I don't decide to keep them! I have 6 now,No more keeping anything!!Need to get out of here soon!!Some are getting older and frail and they can't go with us to nc. ...so hopefully the doggy heaven will take care of them before they get too bad !Going to move to N.C soon!!! My husband and I love music. He was a spectacular guitar player! The best around!And no I am not just saying that!!Listen to his stuff or ask anyone!!! We did go out to see bands as much as we could.I also have cats(I have one cat that has many extra toes!Looks like he has an extra half foot on each)his name is sasquatch, we call him sassy for short! Not a fan of cats!!No offense to cat lovers but I would be content without any except sassy!No rats anymore. Used to have chickens.We homeschool our kids. Love the beach!Still planning on moving to the beach tho my worst nightmare has happened.I luv u rob forever and always!!Someone wake me from this nightmare please!!!!it's a very dark descending feeling that i am smothering under.Doesn't change much.....no one can imagine how horrible and stunting it all is!!!!I am a horrible sister,mother,friend right now!!I feel bad but I always feel bad so I just have to wait for time or so they say!!Not sure that is going to work!!How do u get over the most important,loving,soulmate person that u were soo lucky to have? U don't!!It happens once and now it's just figuring out how to go from here!!
Final Fantasy Amv - Savage Garden - Truly Madly Deeply via Noolmusic.com
Get Video Code For Final Fantasy Amv - Savage Garden - Truly Madly Deeply
Myspace.com Blogs - 10YRS AGO - le grÃ¡ go deo MySpace Blog
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog....
Re: My Immortal...such a beautiful tribute!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8nApHPC2DE

this is us!!!!!!!!!!!!rob and I!!!

My Interests

Music!!! all types. I love heavy to classical to opera. Irish language and background.Books,Books,Books!! Animals.Extreme sports!!True crime.
ANAIS NIN!!Getting through all this!!!!!

I'd like to meet:

Angelina Jolie,Ananis Nin,John Malkovich,Johny Depp,Jonathan Kellerman,Dean Koontz,Janet Evonovich..Bill Clintonimgsrc="http://img108.imageshack.us/img108/6995/billc linton8gg.jpg" alt="Image Hosted by ImageShack.us" /> The Rock!!!Ultra sexy!!! My husband!!!I would do anything...anything to have him back!!!!!god the pain is horrible!!!!

Music:

Alot of heavy stuff like disturbed,system of a down, etc. Christina Aguilara,Justin Timberlake..Also love Andrea Boccelli, Loreena Mckennit,Sara Brightman,Local Bands!!!!

Movies:

Love...The Lover,night,Mother,Dangerous Beauty,Henry and June,The Secretary,Chicago!.Smoke signals,Warparty, Also Silent Bob and Jay any movie.Foreign films....

Television:

House,Desperate housewives,Boston legal,Any true crime show!!! History channel,national geo. ,ID,bbc every tuesday for ab fab!!!!!

Books:

Dean Koontz!!!Jonathan Kellerman,Lean Hern,Anais Nin,Henry Miller, the old classics!!True crime of course!!Janet Evanovich! Luv to read!!Read 4-5 books a week!!Insomnia!

Heroes:

My luv...myhusband 3/14/08,my mother,my daddy jim marti 07/30/03,Anais Nin,Bill Clinton
Myspace Funnies

My Blog

what widows know and wives need to realize!!!PLease read!!

"If wives only knew what widows know, it would be a different world, with very few divorces and separations. Love would over-power the urge to "be right" or "make a point". Who cares...
Posted by You will have to make sense of my life somehow on Sun, 28 Sep 2008 02:56:00 PST

WILL I EVER GET TO THIS POINT!!! I AM NO FARTHER ALMOST 7 MONTHS LATER!!! I AM BREAKING APART!!

THIS SONG SAYS IT ALL!! IT MAY BE ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE BUT IT DESCRIBES WIDOWHOOD FOR ME SO MUCH!! Permission"I apologize That your memory serves you more than I can nowYou'll have to make sens...
Posted by You will have to make sense of my life somehow on Fri, 26 Sep 2008 06:43:00 PST

blabbing

I really appreciate all the friends i have been texting,emailing,commenting ,,,talking to in general!!!It has made a difference!!Still lookin to go away for a few days in oct....been looking some stuf...
Posted by You will have to make sense of my life somehow on Fri, 12 Sep 2008 05:35:00 PST

how

How does anyone without children live thru this?how do they function?I barely can!!My heart is soooooo torn apart that i am not a functioning human being!!I keep hoping it will get better but it goes ...
Posted by You will have to make sense of my life somehow on Sun, 07 Sep 2008 08:33:00 PST

screaming in ur head

I can't cry...not hardly at all but i feel like i am on the verge of bursting into tears all the time lately.I am going to full fledge lose it...i know...it's coming.I keep it sooo bottled up that it ...
Posted by You will have to make sense of my life somehow on Sun, 10 Aug 2008 12:11:00 PST

life how it was

my thoughts now are always in the past.I have his image in my mind sooo clearly...everything...hugs,kisses,talking etc life in general.I am trying to keep the images as close as possible so i cant for...
Posted by You will have to make sense of my life somehow on Fri, 11 Jul 2008 12:05:00 PST

who knows better?

Friends have been putting together a new robbypalooza...the final one for my kids and I and for everyone who wants to celebrate his life...well it's turned into a soap opera!!I was my husbands best fr...
Posted by You will have to make sense of my life somehow on Thu, 03 Jul 2008 10:36:00 PST

life without him

I have dreams...he is there but not talking?is he mad at me?he hovers in the backround.weird. Hope he is happy with how things r so far.I shall see if he comes to me in my dreams tonight.I miss him so...
Posted by You will have to make sense of my life somehow on Thu, 03 Jul 2008 02:57:00 PST

saturday nigth runway

Some how saturday night has become a forget things for awhile night...and i live for them.started with people coming over and helping build things like the runway,stage etc which is still going on and...
Posted by You will have to make sense of my life somehow on Wed, 25 Jun 2008 09:54:00 PST

a beautiful poem..not sure by who..when tomorrow starts without me

Tomorrow Starts Without Me When tomorrow starts without me And I'm not there to see. If the sun should ...
Posted by You will have to make sense of my life somehow on Wed, 18 Jun 2008 10:23:00 PST