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you can't even fucking see me til your staring at my fucking flaws. their all my scars and they arn'

About Me

mein Namen ist Zahara aka Spoon. ImA bAy ArEa GiRl WhO gReW uP iN rIcHmOnD, cAlIfOrNiA sO DoNt GeT mE cOnFuSeD wIt DeM oThA nIgGaS wHo ThInK tHeY dA rEaL sHiT. I LOVE RAP AS MUCH AS DEATH METAL. dOnT tElL mE i CaN oNlY lIkE oNe Or Da OtHeR cOs DaS bUlLsHiT. i MiGhT dReSs LiKe A gOtH bUt Dat DoNT mEaN i AiNt rEpPiN dA bAy ArEa. aIgHt? iM tRuE tO mYsElF sO lEt DeM mUtHa FuCkIn HaTaS hAtE iF dEy WaNt. Da ReSt Of DiS iS iN gErMaN sO nO pOiNt In TrYiN tO eVeN rEaD iT. ICH NICHT EINE MALL GOTH. ICH HABE NIE GESAGT, DASS ICH WAR. ICH HABE NIE SOGAR SELF-PROCLMAIMED MICH SELBST, EIN ZU SEIN GOTH ÜBERHAUPT. SO WENN IHRES EIN FICKEN ARSCHLOCH WIE VIELE ANDERE ON HIER UND NUR WILL SCHEIßE SAGEN ÜBER MICH, MACHT NICHT SOGAR VERDAMMTER VERDRUSS. ICH HöRE ES ENOUGH UND ICH MACHT NICHT SORGE. ES GIBT ZU VIEL VON IHNEN GODDAMN FUCKERS DAS BEHäLT, ZU RUFEN MICH EIN MALL GOTH UND SIE BRAUCHE GEHEN SIE FICKEN STIRBT!! STIRBEN SIE STIRBT STIRBT!! ICH HASSE DICH GODDAMNIT!! GEHEN SIE FICKEN TöTET SICH!! LEUTE WER RICHTER ARE FUCKING LOZERS WHO NEED LIFES. SO MCHT NICHT RICHTER MICH ON ANY OF DIS SCHEISSE. anyways, ich ficken liebe die deutsch language, Germany in general, german bands, etc. ich bin ein Unheimlich person aber sehr kühl. yea...hmm, lässt sehen. ich bin nicht hübsch überhaupt, ich kann lustig sein, ich kann hassen, ich mag ist traurig, ich nicht mag lügner, ich bin gewalttätig, ich habe geistige Unordnungen, und ich hasse wo ich lebe. ich bin antireligion, antileute, antiliebe, antihassen, antialles. das ist nur mein Schicksal. ich hasse posers!! Ich hasse Leute, mich auf den Kleidern zu beurteilen, die ich trage. Es ist nur eine Wahl der Mode, damit mich das verlässt, fickt allein. ich liebe Videospiele. ich haben sieben durchsticht....so far. zwei in mein links ohr, drei in mich recht, meine nase, und mehr kürzlich meine Lippe. ich did vier auf of sieben mich selbst und nein, Keiner von ihnen hat verletzt, als ich die Nadel durch geschoben habe haha(Als Sie erzählen können, bin ich nicht squemish) Blut und Tod und geronnenes Blut faszinieren. Sie denken so nicht, dann fein. aber ich bin wierd. ich bin ein wiccan. Aber ich geschehe, stark mit der satanischen Bibel übereinzustimmen. Ich denke, dass es Weg zu vielen Leuten in der Welt gibt, und wenn die meisten von ihnen jetzt gleich sterben sollten, Ich könnte mich weniger nicht sorgen. Ich mag Hängen aus an cemetaries und gebend vor, ein Vampir an McDonald's zu sein. ich liebe shiny stuff und collect safety pins and paper clips. Sie make mich happy. wristbands keep mich warm und so do fat people. ich immer steal an least eins piece of clothing from meine fruendan und Sie shall nie get them zurück. hehe ich wear boxers. ich usually dress like ein guy. ich nicht look wie ich bin in mein bilder so Nicht sagt, dass ich hübsch bin oder einige blodes scheisse wie das. ich liebe disasters of alle types. especially natural ones. ich hasse stupidity. i hasse most things. if ich do happen to mag dich, consider yourself unlucky cos ich bin ein weibchen haha Wenn Sie kennen wollen, dass andere sinnlose Scheiße um mich mir eine Nachricht oder etwas schicken. FICKEN DICH!!!!!
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My Interests

music, video games, sleeping, eating, internet, talking to people, speaking german, learning german, the german culture, germany, planning my suicide, waiting for me reasons to die, being a fucking psychotic violent wierdo haha

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I'd like to meet:

CHAD GRAY! and um....yea. id like to meet my husband too. that would be kinda nice haha thats bout it. maybe till lindemann. i would do anything to meet him. cuz hes fucking awsome. p.s. im not crazy. i just have an obsession problem =/


[HAVE YOU EVER..]
been kissed.. yes
lied to a friend.. yes
dyed ur hair going 2
dressed punk yea i luv dressin punk
kissed a girl yes
saw something u didnt want to o yea
danced in the rain all the time
lied to ur parents everyday
went barefoot in the snow yea....not doin that again
played hockey yup
made ur own clothes yup
[IN THE LAST 24 HOURS..]
got in a fite not physically
took a shower yes
gave a dirty look to someone *smiles* yes
cried=( yea.....
did a cartwheel no?
went to school nope
shopped no i dont shop
danced i dont dance either
got sick yea
did something u regret probably
discovered something new if i did i dont remember
[IN SCHOOL YOU...]
run to class because ur always late nah i take az long az i need
act perfect fuk no
act hyper very rarely
are a nerd thatz wat i think
in band?? uzed 2 b
[RIGHT NOW UR..]
in ur pjs kinda
drinkin root beer
listening to music manson and slipknot
watching a movie no
iming someone yes
talkin on the fone they wont answer their fones
eating i waz a min ago
[CLOTHES..]
hot topic or abercrombie and fitch HOT TOPIC
thongs or briefs briefs
boxers anyone?!?! HELL YEA
sweatpants or jeans sweatpants deifintly
longsleeved shirts or short sleeve short sleeve
tube tops or tanks tanx
[CURRENTLY .. ]
current clothes tank top and sweatpants
current mood pissd
current music slipknot and manson
current taste heavy metal, death metal, screamo, punk rock
current make-up gothic
current thing I ought to be doing sleeping hehe
[ LAST PERSON .. ]
you hugged uh....i think it waz orange
yelled at whoever the last persin it waz i talkd 2
IMed. terra
you touched mii mom
[ EiTHER/0R .. ]
coffee or hot chocolate both
big or little depends on wat it iz
lace or satin satin
new or old old
vogue or cosmopolitan neither
skirt or dress i hate both
wool or cotton cotton?
[DO YOU..]
put on a "front" nope
have a crush on someone hell yea
if u got a tatoo where wud u get it lower back
[RANDOM QUESTiONS..]
waht is the .. symbol u use the most lol
u have a boyfriend or girlfiend boyfriend
who's hotter, Josh Hartnett or Chad Michael Murray ewwww
what was the last thing you said g'nite
who would u want to be stuck in an elevator with sum1 who i kant mention
do you like stickers not really
do u play with mad libs wen ur bored yup
are you suicidal yes....
is your window open no
what was the last pair of shoes you bought converse
do you have a little brother unfortunatly yes
does he draw you cute pictures i woodnt kall them cute
where do your grandparents live not here
what do you think of when you hear the word click block
are you a moron damn rite
do you like trampolines teehee yes
have u ever accidentally sucked something up in the vacuum all the time
did you see American Pie 2 no0o
do you cut yourself i uzed 2 but now im against it

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Zahara
Birthday: may 8, 1992
Birthplace: why do u care???
Current Location: el sobrante
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: brown
Height: 5'3"
Right Handed or Left Handed: rite
Your Heritage: alotta shit
The Shoes You Wore Today: converse!!!
Your Weakness: many things
Your Fears: ants and....?
Your Perfect Pizza: eh pepperoniz fine
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: i dunno
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: thatz kool
Thoughts First Waking Up: can i go bak 2 sleep?
Your Best Physical Feature: dont have ne
Your Bedtime: 10:30-12:00
Your Most Missed Memory: i have alot
Pepsi or Coke: coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: BK
Single or Group Dates: either
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffee
Do you Smoke: no
Do you Swear: yup
Do you Sing: not around people
Do you Shower Daily: yea
Have you Been in Love: yea
Do you want to go to College: no not really
Do you want to get Married: nope
Do you belive in yourself: hell no!!!
Do you get Motion Sickness: sumtimes
Do you think you are Attractive: fuck no!!!!
Are you a Health Freak: no
Do you get along with your Parents: very rarely
Do you like Thunderstorms: hell yea
Do you play an Instrument: used 2
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: NO!!!
In the past month have you Smoked: NO!!!
In the past month have you been on Drugs: uh......
In the past month have you gone on a Date: um, not realy
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: no
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: um, mayb?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: dont think so
In the past month have you been on Stage: uh....dont remember
In the past month have you been Dumped: im not sure
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: fuck no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: kant remember
Ever been Drunk: i think
Ever been called a Tease: yea
Ever been Beaten up: no
Ever Shoplifted: think so
How do you want to Die: ne wayz good 4 mii
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: actress
What country would you most like to Visit: greece
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: brown
Favourite Hair Color: black
Short or Long Hair: either
Height: i like shorter guyz
Weight: CHUBBY!!!!!!!
Best Clothing Style: gothic
Number of Drugs I have taken: um.....
Number of CDs I own: around 15 or 20
Number of Piercings: 4 fir now
Number of Tattoos: none
Number of things in my Past I Regret: everything

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Music:

i fucking love all heavy/death/nu metal, industrial, and rap. yup i love rap. get over it. i really like screamo, grind core, black metal, punk rock, gothic, grunge, etc. and sometimes even the occasional techno shit. the music i like is kinda wierd but thats just who i am. SO FUCK YOU. i listen to are philler. slipknot. disturbed. green day. MUDVAYNE(kill, i oughta). koRn. az i lay dying. joy division. dimmu borgir. bauhaus. skinny puppy. alice in chains. rage against the machine. soul asylum. il nino. between the buried and me. SLAYER. atreyu. ANTI-FLAG. redemtion. emporer. trivium. dragon force. gwar. anthrax. faith no more. bloodsimple. alien ant farm. axiomatic. accept. alice cooper. the birthday massacre. tool. smashing pumpkins. rob zombie. red tape. future leaders of the world. RAMMS+EIN. suicide commandos. feindflug. grendel. megaherz. KMFDM. DOMESHOTS. lacuna coil. jack off jll. bjork. a perfect circle. diecast. gorelord. macabre. soilwork. papa roach. good charlotte. linkin park. fuel. lifehouse. staind. MUDVAYNE(L.D.50). seether. gorgoroth. saliva. motorhead. probot. queen. 10 years. def lepeord. the clash. the sex pistols. nirvana. system of a down. stabbing westward. oasis. third eye blind. vertical horizon. yellowcard. HIM. skinless. DEICIDE. marduk. nile. PANTERA. bloodhound gang. god module. tacticalsekt. tanzwut. metallsperhunde. six feet under. opeth. LAMB OF GOD. dismembered. impaled. dying fetus. god dethroned. pentagram. gorgoth. assenblage 23. all that remains. aborted. bloodbath. london after midnight. index case. neuroticfish. nas. emininem. mystikal. tupac. yung joc. wednesday 13. death. black label society. MUDVAYNE(the beginning of all things to end). cradle of filth. the forsaken. children of bodom. god forbid. static-x. hatebreed. godsmack. devil driver. drowning pool. the pheonix throne. all falls down. queens of the stone age. default. everlast. autumns offering. demon hunter. COAL CHAMBER. EISBRECHER. OOMPH. laibach. dir en grey. unheilig. trapt. staind. bloody bones. lynard skynard. megadeth. pod. motley crew. cannibal corpse. trapt. kill what i adore. MUDVAYNE(the end of all things to come)nirvana. quintessentials. falling to pieces. RU36. peppermint creeps. three days grace. NIRVANA. ozzy. the doors. the used. the beatles. t3chn0ph0b1a. vietus mortus. AFI. the uzed. hanzel und gretyl. godflesh. MINISTRY. circle jerks. the offspring. puddle of mudd. the killers. mastadon. damageplan. soilwork. fear factory. das ich. eisregen. dorbendreich. stronken. crossfade. breaking benjamin. sugarcult. harvey danger. social distortion. dead kennedys. motley crew. minor threat. MUDVAYNE(lost and found). judas priest. gorefest. anthrax. underoath. otep. 69 eyes. orgy. anders manga. zero divide. sisters of mercy. sublime. blink-182. otep. flipper. epicurean. ghost orgy. silent agression. plan 9. eye hate god. celldweller. deathboy. decay the astral self. siouxise and the banshees. mushroomhead. dark eden. etc. and a bunch of others.....so yea.....therez more but if you wanna know if i like other bands in paticular, just send me a message. otherwize i really dont care. fuck off already!

Movies:

donnie darko!! and uh....mirrormask....tank girl....road warrior....butterfly effect....boondock saints....the punisher....the breakfast club....300....13 ghosts....um....what else???

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Television:

anything thatz on
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Person most likely to kill me for making too many najwaj

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Books:

alot of them

Heroes:

nobody is better or worse then me. so i dont see a need for any hero. but there are several people who i idolize. ELIZABETH BATHORY!!!! i love her
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My Blog

to my love

Dear William.. you are the one i want to be with the one i want to spend the rest of my life with when we are not together, i want to give up on life but then you come back and everythings alright...
Posted by deleted on Sun, 22 Apr 2007 02:20:00 PST

i can make words rhyme :D

let me die....die....DIE!!END THIS STUPID MOTHERFUCKING LIFEwhy do i gotta deal with this shitaint like anyone else is helpin me with iti just sit here and pretend to be finewhen its obvious as hell i...
Posted by deleted on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 09:10:00 PST

emo??

i waz feelin hella emo when i wrote thiz shyt but idk if youd consider it to be 'emo' or not. what do you think? i want you  all to suffer! fucking suffer! suffer like me! pull the trigger, cry...
Posted by deleted on Thu, 31 Aug 2006 07:11:00 PST

sum song....

a worthless lozer in the eyez of thozewho see her pain and miserybut she goez on like itz nuthingu can only hear her cryingno1 hearz the pain in her voiceshe forces herself 2 b strongshez not even doi...
Posted by deleted on Fri, 24 Feb 2006 03:07:00 PST

definitions 4 'goth'

A GOTH IZ: The goth, that thing that lies at the opposite end of the spectrum of society to the chav.A goth will walk alone where a chav will hide inside his herd and though the goth may take a beatin...
Posted by deleted on Fri, 30 Dec 2005 06:32:00 PST

more poems

Blades the thought of blade going thru human skin going inside deep within the pain iz there but i think nuthing of it 4 it feels so good mii mind goez into an endless pit pity, sooro, pain, trust all...
Posted by deleted on Thu, 01 Dec 2005 05:39:00 PST