Nigerian Twizzler Child™ profile picture

Nigerian Twizzler Child™

You look like something you shit out in high school.

About Me


I pretty much hate everything, but I find that biting sarcasm and a sharp wit are much better coping mechanisms than flat-out anger. Drugs help, too.
I think people can do anything they put their mind to. Most of them are just too stupid to do it.
If you're interested, you can check out my LiveJournal .
pain is weakness leaving the body
My scar as of 12.03.06
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24 with Bobby Lee and John Cena
*slap* AAAAHHHHH!!!!
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Bros. Bar-B-Q
"Taste so good, make you wanna slap yo momma!"
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EF-5 tornado
Greensburg, Kansas
May 5, 2007
Reed Timmer and Joel Taylor are my heroes.
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How to fuck with a telemarketer.
Rollins all
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OH YEAH!
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My Interests

Writing, music, comedy, meteorology, forensic science, photography, astrology, NASCAR, tornadoes, storm watching, storm chasers, cars, mixed martial arts fighting, professional wrestling, kayfabe, body modifications, mind-altering substances, working out, sports, animals, the outdoors, movies, books, art, philosophy, spirituality, religion, self-discovery, subculture, crime, serial killers, spree killers, the occult, controversy, being an individual, speaking my mind.

I'd like to meet:



Music:

Elton John, Tom Petty, The Doors, The Smiths, Morrissey, cKy, HIM, Mindless Self Indulgence, Sublime, Rage Against The Machine, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nirvana, Alice In Chains, Stone Temple Pilots, Pink Floyd, Aerosmith, Journey, Foreigner, Def Leppard, Eminem, Bauhaus, The Cure, The Bolshoi, Fields Of The Nephilim, Depeche Mode, Joy Division, Ministry, Sepultura, Dead Or Alive, New Order, Duran Duran, Siouxsie & The Banshees, The Church, The Cult, Simple Minds, The Psychedelic Furs, Echo And The Bunnymen, The The, Tom Tom Club, Pet Shop Boys, The Thompson Twins, Tears For Fears, Talking Heads, Human League, Soft Cell, KoRn, Slayer, Pantera, Metallica, Nine Inch Nails, Tool, Orgy, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Mudhoney, Afghan Whigs, Tad, Candlebox, Screaming Trees, Beastie Boys, Gorillaz, The Ramones, The Clash, Violent Femmes, New York Dolls, The Cramps, The Police, Genesis, GG Allin, Anal Cunt, King Missile, No Doubt, Authority Zero, Ween, Weezer, old Green Day, The Offspring, 311, R.E.M., Janis Joplin, Sting, Phil Collins, Bob Marley, AC/DC, Guns N Roses, old Bon Jovi, Brooks & Dunn, Lonestar, Big & Rich, Ludacris, Diddy, Nelly Furtado, Black Eyed Peas, 2Ge+her

Movies:

Rebel Without A Cause, Donnie Darko, Ghost World, The Faculty, Napoleon Dynamite, Airplane!, Beetlejuice, The Addams Family, Addams Family Values, Edward Scissorhands, Clerks, The Breakfast Club, Revenge Of The Nerds, Little Nicky, Holes, The Little Rascals, Man Of The House, Now And Then, Little Giants, Dennis The Menace, Harriet The Spy, Smokey And The Bandit, National Lampoon's Animal House, Dogma, Die Hard, Die Hard 2, Die Hard With A Vengeance, Goodfellas, Scarface, Jackass: The Movie, Jackass Number Two, Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby, Beavis & Butt-Head Do America, South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut, Super Troopers, Wayne's World, the entire CKY series, Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, Mallrats, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks II, Malibu's Most Wanted, Friday, Next Friday, Friday After Next, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Puppet Master, SLC Punk!, Detroit Rock City, Sixteen Candles, Weird Science, Office Space, American History X, Back To The Future, Once Upon A Time In Mexico, Grease, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, American Pie, Trainspotting, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, 2Ge+her, campy costume dramas, low budget horror movies, true-death shockumentaries

Television:

Home Improvement, Red Eye, UFC, WWE, TNA, Law & Order, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Even Stevens, Family Guy, South Park, Beavis & Butt Head, Robot Chicken, Aqua Teen Hungerforce, Squidbillies, The Boondocks, Daria, Invader ZIM, Ren & Stimpy, Rocko's Modern Life, Scrubs, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, That 70's Show, SpongeBob SquarePants, Good Times, Three's Company, The Jeffersons, Sanford & Son, NewsRadio, The First 48, Seconds From Disaster, Viva La Bam, Jackass, Wild Boyz, Chappelle's Show, Moral Orel, old Saturday Night Live, The Kids In The Hall, The Fairly OddParents, Degrassi: The Next Generation, Happy Tree Friends, The Closer, Judge Mathis, Cops, Will & Grace, Everybody Loves Raymond, The King Of Queens, 24 hour news channels, low budget local television

Books:

Stephen Colbert’s Alpha Squad 7: Lady Nocturne: A Tek Jansen Adventure, America: The Book, Brain Droppings, Napalm And Silly Putty, 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America, The Big Book of Congressional Sodomy Volume 1

My Blog

Update.

This past weekend was utter bullshit.Friday at work started off shitty - Earlyn was getting on my case about adjusting the air conditioner where I sit. At work, I sweat constantly because she keeps m...
Posted by Nigerian Twizzler Child™ on Thu, 31 May 2007 09:56:00 PST

I am addicted to this shit.

Damn you, Luke! ...
Posted by Nigerian Twizzler Child™ on Fri, 25 May 2007 01:10:00 PST

5555

Awesome.
Posted by Nigerian Twizzler Child™ on Thu, 17 May 2007 12:34:00 PST

Who knew herpes could be so much fun?

Movie Quote Generator -- just type in your own word.I chose the word herpes.This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old herpes.A Clockwork Orange (1971)I'm Herpes! I'm Herpes!Spa...
Posted by Nigerian Twizzler Child™ on Thu, 17 May 2007 11:36:00 PST

TheSuperficial.com is jesus.

Upgrade.Ryan Reynolds used to be engaged to Alanis Morissette, so to go from that to Scarlett Johansson is like trading in a Kia for a Ferrari. I'm surprised his penis didn't explode the first time he...
Posted by Nigerian Twizzler Child™ on Thu, 17 May 2007 10:36:00 PST

NSFW.

Quite possibly the most annoying porn ever.Bitch sounds like a seagull.
Posted by Nigerian Twizzler Child™ on Thu, 17 May 2007 10:32:00 PST

The day of reckoning.

Frustrated with not being able to find a job, coupled with incessant bitching from his parents about how ugly his hair is and how stupid he is to keep his long hair because it might be keeping him fro...
Posted by Nigerian Twizzler Child™ on Wed, 16 May 2007 11:55:00 PST

Some people have all the luck.

I hate the way the world works.Example: my best friend's sister's fiancé. A convicted felon and ex-carnie, he goes to work drunk, falls off a 40-foot wall and breaks almost every bone in his body. At...
Posted by Nigerian Twizzler Child™ on Wed, 16 May 2007 11:49:00 PST

Fucking priceless.

This officer on Cops sounds just like Keanu Reeves. I'm waiting for him to call Morpheus for backup.Right now he's kicking a fat man around who's wheezing and screaming "JESUS!!!!"Good times....
Posted by Nigerian Twizzler Child™ on Wed, 09 May 2007 06:16:00 PST

Britney could kick Avril's ass.

"Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne would be a cute song if she was 12. But she's an adult, and she's married, and that's just fucking retarded. It's quite possibly the most annoying and poorly written s...
Posted by Nigerian Twizzler Child™ on Tue, 08 May 2007 06:36:00 PST