Shaft

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: John Shaft
Birthday: Boxing Day
Birthplace: NEW YORK, PUNK
Current Location: Right behind you
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: AFRO!
Height: Damn tall
Right Handed or Left Handed: I can kick your ass with either
Your Heritage: BLACK BLACK BLACK BLACK MOTHERFUCKER!
The Shoes You Wore Today: Kick ass boots
Your Weakness: I love pandas
Your Fears: Some day I might forget to wear matching socks
Your Perfect Pizza: With extra kick-ass sauce
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Prom Queen
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Motherfucker!
Thoughts First Waking Up: I'm Shaft, bitch!
Your Best Physical Feature: Dude, I'm Shaft.
Your Bedtime: Rampaging Gunfights
Your Most Missed Memory: My short-lived TV series
Pepsi or Coke: They both abuse the black man
MacDonalds or Burger King: Arby's!
Single or Group Dates: Nobody understands me but my woman
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Oooh, toughie
Chocolate or Vanilla: VANILLA IS THE COLOR OF WHITE SUPREMACY
Cappuccino or Coffee: The blacker, the better
Do you Smoke: Hell yeah
Do you Swear: Fuck yes, bitch!
Do you Sing: Liberace's Greatest Hits
Do you Shower Daily: Duh
Have you Been in Love: Once, in the 60s
Do you want to go to College: I am College
Do you want to get Married: I'm Shaft
Do you belive in yourself: I believe in the power of love
Do you get Motion Sickness: No, I'm Shaft for Pete's sake
Do you think you are Attractive: Hell yeah, I am Shaft after all.
Are you a Health Freak: Whatchoo talkin' about, Willis?
Do you get along with your Parents: I was concieved through budding
Do you like Thunderstorms: Only if they're manly
Do you play an Instrument: Bassinet
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Like every day
In the past month have you Smoked: Like every day
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Shaft don't do that crap
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Hell yeah
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Ohmigosh, every day
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Oreos don't care about black people
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I ain't no ninja
In the past month have you been on Stage: I was Mr. Darcy in "Pride and Prejudice"
In the past month have you been Dumped: I'm Shaft, I NEVER GET DUMPED
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: In New York? Are you kidding?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Only a couple of abstract concepts
Ever been Drunk: Possibly
Ever been called a Tease: Shaft don't tease, bitch
Ever been Beaten up: Never!
Ever Shoplifted: Fuck no
How do you want to Die: Bowling with Mr. T
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A spaceman
What country would you most like to Visit: Belize
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Cheese
Favourite Hair Color: Aquaman
Short or Long Hair: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Height: Haddaway
Weight: Neo-McCarthyism
Best Clothing Style: Myanmar
Number of Drugs I have taken: Absolution
Number of CDs I own: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
Number of Piercings: Peevishness
Number of Tattoos: Bill Cosby
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Crowbar
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