JP

when i was 14, i led a successful rebellian against the zappatista leadership of the small village we lived in. i took my newfound political fame to southern california and opened shop as a human rights promoter in the heart of liberal activism, Coto de Cato in Orange County. nestled in between the secluded country estates and championship golf courses, a small band of dedicated workers set up a canadian underground railroad; assisting the assylum seekers of our intolerant neighbor to the north.
i spent the remaining time of my "impressionable years" traveling amongst the people and ruins of distant lands such as Togo, Zambia, Guatamala, and Kansas.
an heir to a make-up fortune, my father was the MAX in MAX FACTOR, i landed a job as a badger farmer in northern california after abandoning my political aspirations. badgers, surprisingly, create 80% of the world's most sought after secretions for the perfume and make-up industry.
i've parlayed that experience into being a just another boring corporate whore, with an ego larger than my paycheck, and not one creative bone in my body.