Big Trouble in Little Vagina

About Me

My name is Mike. I go by many names, however. I have many strange substances scattered aross my desk. Instead of telling you what I like, I'll tell you what I don't like. When people lie to me. Bad drivers. People who do drugs. PMS. Diarrhea. Pizza with strange toppings (i.e. anything that's not cheese, pepperoni, or ground beef). Complainers. BET. Ignorant people. Trashy white people. Low-life black people. Foreigners that don't speak English and come here. People who act tough online. Female drivers. Reality TV shows. Drama queens. Shaving. Taxes. The cover of the first Crossfade album. Ticketmaster. High gas prices. People who say they hate the president, but can give no reason why other than, "He's an asshole." Basketball. When people get mad at me, regardless of whether or not I'm at fault, I don't like when people get mad at me. Iced Tea. The radio. TV. Most new movies that come out. Julia Roberts. Richard Gere. Hardcore dancing. Poop. Kids who wear tour shirts from 15 years before they were born. Not knowing what I am doing. Not having money. Tolls. Caramel Tasty Kakes. ....you get the idea. ..
Take the quiz:
Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle are You?

Michelangelo
Awe YAH! You're the party dude! You enjoy goofing off and pulling pranks! Life's a beach! People NEED you in order to lighten up! Happiness isn't a destination, it's simply a way of life! You like games, sports, and many different activities involving showing off your athletic skills! Does annoying your sisters and brothers count? Ehehe! You enjoy being the center of attention, the star of the show, and the known joker of the group! Gotta make 'em laugh!
Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!
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My Interests

I have recently discovered skydiving, that's my biggest interest right now, unfortunately my wallet can't keep up with it, so I don't get to go nearly as much as I would like to. Going to concerts is another interest of mine. Hanging out with my friends and being stupid is always a good time as well...and I also enjoy being 92% evil.

You Are 92% Evil
You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you! How Evil Are You?

...and I also enjoy watching cows mate.

I'd like to meet:

Good, old-fashioned, honest, hard-working Americans.

What's Your Problem? Find out @ She's Crafty

Music:

Exodus, Carcass, Obituary, Testament, Death Angel, Kreator, Municipal Waste, Emperor, The Haunted, Exhorder, Devildriver, Chimaira, Strapping Young Lad, Mayhem, Satyricon, Deicide, Cannibal Corpse, Carpathian Forest, Morbid Angel, Megadeth, Pantera, Fear Factory, 3 Inches of Blood, Sacred Reich, Exciter, Annihilator, King Diamond, Mercyful Fate, Amen, Nailbomb, Anthrax, Napalm Death, Motorhead, Social Distortion, Suffocation, Cryptopsy, Machine Head, Type O Negative, Helloween, Overkill, Twisted Sister, Judas Priest, Motley Crue, Alice In Chains, Entombed, Ministry, Xentrix, Iron Maiden, Skinless, Nile, Celtic Frost, Hypocrisy, At The Gates, Death, Sentenced, Six Feet Under, White Zombie, Manowar, Mastodon, Amon Amarth, Biohazard, Tool, Behemoth, Faith No More, Primus, Danzig, Martyr AD, Dog, Fashion Disco, In Flames, Madball, Scorpions, Ratt, Skid Row, Ted Nugent, Alabama Thunderpussy, Brujeria, Iced Earth, S.O.D., Vio-Lence, Mortician, Dark Angel and bunches more.

Movies:

Hellraiser, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Creature from the Black Lagoon, House of 1000 Corpses, Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Children of the Corn, Halloween, Child's Play, Seven, Last Action Hero, Airheads, Grandma's Boy, Rollerball (original), Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Wayne's World, Shrek, and Toy Story, just to name a few.

Television:

The Munsters

Books:

Timeline. X-Files. Both of these books destroyed the movies. There's a number of other books that I really liked but I can't think of the names right now.

My Blog

I almost forgot...

Go grab a garden hose and remember to celebrate Black History Month....oh shit, I'm a racist for calling them black and not African American. ...
Posted by Big Trouble in Little Vagina on Fri, 16 Feb 2007 09:28:00 PST

Some people are just plain stupid.

According to the International Herald Tribune, Guatemalan police said Wednesday (Jan. 3) that two teenagers influenced by Satanism and heavy metal music killed and dismembered a 6-year-old girl in a d...
Posted by Big Trouble in Little Vagina on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 11:27:00 PST

You People are Fucking Pathetic

Washington Post reports that FBI agents witnessed possible mistreatment of the Koran at the military prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, including at least one instance in which an interrogator bragged to...
Posted by Big Trouble in Little Vagina on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 09:05:00 PST

The Past Week In Review

Thursday night I went to see Apocalypto and I must say, it sucked. Plain and simple. One would think that after The Passion of the Christ this film would be just as epic and bloody...or at least have ...
Posted by Big Trouble in Little Vagina on Mon, 25 Dec 2006 12:10:00 PST

I'm Not Racist, I'm Right

So...every ignorant motherfucker I've encountered over the past 4 days no matter where I've been, what I've been doing, or who I've been with has had one common trait. Anyone care to guess what it is?...
Posted by Big Trouble in Little Vagina on Mon, 11 Dec 2006 03:57:00 PST

Try to Catch Me Ridin' Dirty, Bitch.

Well, this is probably going to sound retarded, but over the past couple of weeks I've had incredible difficulty sleeping. When I do finally get to sleep, it is for no more than 15 minutes at a time. ...
Posted by Big Trouble in Little Vagina on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 08:17:00 PST

People Will Like You Better When You Act Like Something You're Not

How do I always seem to find myself entangled in the retardation and stupidity I strive to steer clear of? I try to pick my friends wisely, making sure that only those of the highest quality will rece...
Posted by Big Trouble in Little Vagina on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 04:02:00 PST

Speak English or Die!

Am I the only one bothered by the fact that you really have to strain to understand anyone anymore? I was warned before I began my new occupation that there was a lot of foreigners with heavy accents,...
Posted by Big Trouble in Little Vagina on Wed, 27 Sep 2006 01:45:00 PST

Happy Death-Day to Aaliyah

Above is a picture of the plane in which Aaliyah went down in. Today is the anniversary of this crash. Sometimes I think Aaliyah knew it was coming. It was all over her music. For example, she felt...
Posted by Big Trouble in Little Vagina on Fri, 25 Aug 2006 03:05:00 PST

Happy 61st Anniversary

...to Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Posted by Big Trouble in Little Vagina on Wed, 09 Aug 2006 01:35:00 PST