Johnny Earnesto - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am not a pussy. I have two broken thumbnails and a broken pinky; the bone, not the nail. I did this to myself so I could get even tougher.
Toughness runs in the family.
Growing up, my father used to tell me, "Son, pussies never prosper and you are one." Then he would kick me in the nuts and then laugh in my face. For the hell of it. He said he didn't give a fuck whether it made me tougher or stronger because it probably wouldn't. But I think it did anyway.
Last week, I spent some reflective time thinking, and in the end I finally said to myself, "I WILL NOT LET THIS HAPPEN." So I joined the Oregon National Guard. Next week, I start the rigorous boot camp program. Well, they don't really call it boot camp, but it's basically the same thing. And so, one weekend a month, I'm going to work on getting tougher and NOT LETTING THIS HAPPEN. It's a win-win; for me and for freedom.
I've been in two fights in two weeks. One with a giant and one with a midget. Lovers of freedom take their enemies as they come and where they come. Which is all over. When they come, I will beat them, and if they keep coming, I'll keep beating them. Sometimes it almost seems like they want to be beaten harder so they can keep coming. As you wish freedom hating pussies!

My Interests

Dumbells. Casualties. Amputees. Soldiers. Deserts and Mountains. Hot climates with dark peoples.

I'd like to meet:

Charlies. Nazis. Indians. Mexican illegals. Drugs. Taliban. USAMA BIN FUCKING LADEN. Poverty.

Music:

Your other right, private! ha! I love that shit.

Movies:

What's your major malfunction, private! I love the evil leader of the dojo in Karate Kid. God that guy is tight.

Television:

Remember that show JAG? It was always amazing to me how those pussy JAG lawyers thought they could judge a man who was in the field, who had blood on his hands, shrapnel in his leg and toughness in his heart. I cannot believe that our government lets those pussies wear a uniform.

Books:

Huh?

Heroes:

General Patton. Lance Corporal Dawson. PFC Downey. My future squadron (sic) commander. God. Country. My daddy.

My Blog

Their son is an american korean who hates me for no reason other than the obvious

There's a mini-mart across the street that I go to every day. It's owned by a blissful Korean couple. I have the same conversation every night with the male owner. TG: Camel li...
Posted by Johnny Earnesto on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 10:29:00 PST

Toughie Teaches A Lesson

In preparation for boot camp in the National Guard, starting in two short weeks, I joined 24 hour fitness the other day. I really wanted to make sure I was in shape so I could HIT THE FUCKING GR...
Posted by Johnny Earnesto on Tue, 03 Oct 2006 02:13:00 PST

Drano

I'm trying to regain my underwhelming fastball. I used to clock in the high 90's until I blew out my elbow and developed three blisters on my right index finger. Now, I can't spell, I can'...
Posted by Johnny Earnesto on Wed, 26 Jul 2006 03:57:00 PST

You Catch More Flies With Honey Than Vinegar

I would like to cordially invite all of my myspace friends to my Grandma Wimpy's 80th birthday party this April 29th. It's being held at the house where my Grams and my mom live together in the ...
Posted by Johnny Earnesto on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 01:14:00 PST

I hate you

And I hate myspace. It's over. My world is shattered. I'm deleting all my friends. Myspacemegeddon is upon us. Let the smoke from the bridge I burn today be seen far and ...
Posted by Johnny Earnesto on Tue, 11 Apr 2006 12:27:00 PST

I left the bitch

But I'm still very confused. It all started about two weeks ago. Right before we got married. That was when I decided that I didn't like her. I mean, at all. I mean, I fu...
Posted by Johnny Earnesto on Thu, 23 Mar 2006 09:48:00 PST

Jake Returns!!

HAHAHA bitches! Punk rock lives on. And I have my new lawyer, Johnny, to thank for that. What a stud! This guy is so super smart, it's incredible. It's amazing that this ...
Posted by Johnny Earnesto on Wed, 01 Mar 2006 02:20:00 PST

Oops, gay again

Today I received the following email from a man who looks just like Eminem: "Hello there, I'm Zachariah, but you can call me Zack. I'm on my friends account right now, because I havent created my...
Posted by Johnny Earnesto on Tue, 14 Feb 2006 02:52:00 PST

world's biggest pussy

is this fucking homo. just barely nudging out tom. fucking pussy, i'll kick his ass into next week. this puss was born on faggle rock. http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user... .
Posted by Johnny Earnesto on Sat, 21 Jan 2006 04:12:00 PST

smack that ass!!! hahahahahah, fucking hell!! god damnit!!! soooo funny!!! roftlmao lol :)))))

don't make no difference to me, what it is you think of smooth johnny. and i'm serious about that. i'm so self confident now after just a few months on myspace. if you'd have told me...
Posted by Johnny Earnesto on Fri, 20 Jan 2006 03:55:00 PST