Keith profile picture

Keith

My Mom says I have a beautiful smile. =)

About Me

Hi Every.) My name is Keith, but all the neighborhood kids seem to call me "Uncle Keith" because I am more like an Uncle to them than just some guy who gives them candy when they come over for our "team meetings". I live with my Mom in Beverly Hills, and she says some day I will meet that special girl who will let me marry her and maybe even have some intimate times in the bedroom! (Haha just kidding ladies, I'm not that daring!) My favourite thing in the whole world is my mom and my basement, where I have collected alot of photos of things I enjoy to display to anyone who has a strong stomach and is wearing a gimp mask. =) Also, I love my dog Muffin, he gives me hours of pleasure as I am a single man, who is 42 and a virgin -- hey everyone needs love -- even if it is "illegal" in 48 states, my love is pure as the snow. I also have a deep love for poetry and I write it everyday -- maybe I will show you sometime. =)Love from -- Uncle Keith.

My Interests

Muffin (my dog) -- My Mom -- Poetry -- Jokes -- Old Westerns on late night TV -- Hot Candle Wax -- Knitting -- Pottery -- Snuff films -- Going shopping with my Mom -- Patchwork -- collecting knives -- Vampire movies -- Keeping myself oiled up & ready for action =)

I'd like to meet:

That little kid from the 6th Sense. He's so cute =)

Music:

Mom says music is from the devil, so I'm not allowed to listen to it =)

Movies:

Vampire movies, Westerns and anything with little kids like Home Alone or Sky Kids -- Mmm =) One time I saw this video my uncle Steve left at our house when I was 13, wow it showed people having S-E-X !!! Hahahaha, I mean, close up camera of the part where the doodle goes right into the ladies love nest! It was so great, but I'm not allowed to see those movies anymore. =)Brb -- I have to change my pants now.

Television:

Here is a poem I wrote --IF you wish upon a star, your dreams can come true, if you believe in hope. The silent death of a sweet little lamb, can bring tears to the eyes of a full grown man, I pray for you my sweet little petal -- Please MOMMY don't lock me in the closet again -- I love you, my deep dark basement of dreams -- I love your youth filled desires. Place cream onto my naked flesh and sing to me you little freak -- touch me -- touch my mom.=)

Books:

I make my own scrap books, of photos I take around my house -- especially my candle filled basement. =)hahahahah Muffin just jumped into my lap =)

Heroes:

Michael Jackson. The Dad off the Brady Bunch & ANY Robot -- I wish I was a robot -- they feel no pain and have no sickness =) Sometimes I wish I was born as a robot. Life would be so much easier. I am also proud of any person I see who is mentally challenged or a midget. I collect photos of them.

My Blog

Moisture.

As you all know, poetry is more than a hobby of mine, it's more like a lifestyle choice. So here, is my latest work of artistic expression. =) Enjoy it you little freaks.   The Way Of The Mother ...
Posted by Keith on Fri, 18 Nov 2005 10:24:00 PST

Stained Wildlife.

Hi Everyone, Uncle Keith here =) I just had to inform u about my treat today. I was walking home from Toys R Us (where I bought some Barbies for my youthful little lust filled delights) when i saw a h...
Posted by Keith on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST