Jarrod profile picture

Jarrod

Call of Duty!!!

About Me


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-All jersies, all the time.
-I drink a lot of coffee.
-I am obsessed with the New York Yankees
-I use a large defunct vernacular.
-I have a bigger DVD collection than you.
-I wear silly t-shirts.
-I am very passionate about baseball.
-I enjoy playing basketball.
-I own only Diesel sneakers. (well, now I have 2 pairs of Pumas and one New Balance, sorry for the discrepency.)
-I like to play blackjack, but I'm not any good.
-I think mustard is the best condiment ever.
-I hate reality TV.
-I love horror movies, and anything else that has nubile teenagers getting massacred just for being stupid.
-I think the next person who pitches a reality show about rich kids who live on a beach needs to be blugeoned to death.
-I collect EVERYTHING, and my girlfriend hates me for it.
-I love anything that is pumpkin flavored.
-I will argue that "the Godfather" is the greatest American movie ever made.
-I am an MST3K nerd.
-I am very nostalgic about my childhood.
-I put bleu cheese on everything.
-I like to answer questions with questions.
-I want to travel a lot more.
-I am very interested in the Roman Empire.
-I am amazed at the general public's acceptance of truly horrible music.
-I think there should be a penalty for wearing Jnco jeans.
-I think anyone who says 'Brother from another mother' should be kicked in the nuts.
-I am an idiot savant.
-I think that VH1 is even more obnoxious than MTV, just with even less music videos.
-I like pot pies.
-I want to write a thesis about how Limp Bizkit is the worst band of all time...ever!!
-I listen to progressive rock and power metal.
-I eat hot wings.
-I am over Dane Cook.
-I laugh at bathroom humor.
-I am getting old.
IM...double41down
a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"Oh, yeah...I got a fever...and the only perscription....is MORE COWBELL!
I'm a Bleacher Creature!
Cursor by www.Soup-Faerie.Com

My Interests

baseball, sarcasm, my girlfriend Kristan, rockin' out, being totally sweet, ninjas, lacing, TNT (well not so much anymore), world domination, boners, clam chowder, chicken wings, concerts, NY Yankees, over-analyzing, Pumpkin Spice Cappuccino, Mt. Fuji Habachi Steakhouse, answering questions with questions, prohibition, over-simplifying, playing the hands i'm dealt, getting Turkish with Bruce Turk, exposing national scandals, doubling down on 11, Yukon Jack, Brando, NOT pirates, pillowfights and ponies, raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, putting all my cards on the table, wheeling and dealing, general mischief and mayhem, Tony Zamboni, the Onion, eating, rablerousing, cashing in my chips, Teen Girl Squad!, carpetbagging, fillibustering, trust-busting, going for all, coming through in the clutch, flying lamprays, leading my band of misfit bikers into sheltered towns to carouse the youth and terrify the 'squares', coffee, cigarettes and vices in general, gambling

getting free pizza pies at the Alligator lounge, murders and executions, riding squirrels like horses, robbing from the rich, giving to the poor, breaking into choreographed song and dance numbers for no reason, striking fear in people's hearts, excavating fossils, pillowfighting while on ponies (if at all possible.)
I HEART +

I'd like to meet:

Rowsdower!!!!
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...and yeah, these guys too...

Music:

Dave Matthews Band, The Beatles, The Police, Genesis, Rush, Minus the Bear, Damien Rice, Bright Eyes, Green Day, R.E.M., U2, Yes, Dance Hall Crashers, Bad Religion, the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Nas, Biggie, Kanye West, The Rolling Stones, A.F.I., the Descendents, ALL. ...yeah, that seems good for about now.

Movies:

There are many more, but here's the essential list (oh, and if you have never heard of or have never seen these movies, then pretty much you don't deserve to live)
The Godfather
Raging Bull
The Deer Hunter
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial
Halloween
Goodfellas
Midnight Cowboy
American Beauty
The Departed
Do The Right Thing
Taxi Driver
Pulp Fiction
The Godfather Part II
Vertigo
Apocalypse Now
Borat
Rocky
Dog Day Afternoon
Terror Firmer (!)
Platoon
A Streetcar Named Desire
Rashomon
The Illusionist
Close Encounters Of the Third Kind
Full Metal Jacket
A Nightmare On Elm Street
Swingers
Requiem For A Dream
Memento
Ran
Superman: The Movie
The Empire Strikes Back
Night Of the Living Dead
Sideways
Amadeus
The Warriors
A Boy Named Charlie Brown
Seven Samurai
The Usual Suspects
On The Waterfront
Kill Bill
That home movie of me at Christmas when I was little and fell into my hot wheels race track and hurt myself
Zoolander
The Steve Thompson Piebald Dance Party!
Scarface
Dawn Of the Dead (1978)
Clerks
Superman II
Chasing Amy
The Rise and Fall of Bruce Turk (A Story of Fame, Fortune, and a SERIOUS mustache)
Reservior Dogs
Straw Dogs
North By Northwest
Ghostbusters
Super Troopers
Network
A Clockwork Orange
Serpico
Back To The Future
Pillowfights and Ponies 2: Electric Bugaloo
Friday the 13th
The Muppets Take Manhattan
American Psycho
Mystic River
Once Upon a Time In America
Almost Famous
Bonnie and Clyde
I'm Gonna Git You Sucka
The Karate Kid
Mean Streets
Poltergeist
Pillowfights and Ponies: The Movie

Television:

The Sopranos, Rome, Six Feet Under, Mad Men, Nip/Tuck, The X-Files, Carnivale, Dexter, The Riches, Big Love, House.

Frasier, Arrested Development,Mystery Science Theater 3000, Weeds, The Simpsons, Futurama, South Park, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, Entourage.
The YES Network, Mike and the Mad Dog, Yankeeography, Baseball Tonight.
There are actually a surprisingly high number of quality shows on television right now, even though you'd never know it by the overwhelming amount of shit that is also being watched.

Books:

Notes From Underground, Catcher in the Rye, Heart of Darkness, anything by Flannery O'Connor, Joyce Carol Oates, The Things They Carried, The Satyricon, Walden, Sporting News Baseball Register, The Sopranos and Philosophy, Brando: Songs My Mother Taught Me, Occurance at Owl Creek Bridge, short stroy collections, American Psycho, Slaughterhouse Five, Breakfast of Champions, the Art of War, The Scarlet Letter.

Heroes:

Predominantly Frasier and Niles Crane
but also...
Donnie F'in Baseball

Paul O'Neill

Steve Nash

Derek Jeter

David Cone

My Blog

Pics of possibly the cutest couple ever

Most of the pics in my profile are stupid, but here's a few real ones, just so you can see that I actually have a soft side. This pic is one of my favorites, even though it is pretty old. Th...
Posted by Jarrod on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

my friends

I have recently decided that my friends are possibly the funniest people I have ever met. Here are some random quotes and terms that have stuck with me:"That guy's a real piece of work. And by work, I...
Posted by Jarrod on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST