aMARYcANN express profile picture

aMARYcANN express

Happy Halloween!

About Me


Go into the toilet beard to place excrement the tool!!
I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick.
Half Laotian but raised Filipino-style [Laos = small country in SE Asia] girl born and raised in small town Tennessee... My first language was Laotian but that didn't seem to work in Crossville, TN, and so I've since forgotten it. I can do math and I drive really really badly [both true]. I moved to Tampa all by my lonesome [well, sorta, but that's a different story] when I was merely 17 but bring with me the ideals and good values that I was raised with. Alas, I leave behind the southern accent :).
I currently live in South Tampa with my bestest little animal-friend, my 25-pound kitty Arlo. He is a senior citizen kitty of 14 years who has bad teeth, is slightly senile, and who has forgotten how to bury his poop. In his spare time, when he's not eating or pooping, he likes to stare at walls, meow for more food in his bowl even though it's already full, and try to get into cabinets. He also enjoys being scared of and running away from: piles of clothes, the little shadow that appears under doorways, balls of his own fur that float around, his reflection in his water dish, and his own shadow.
Read the interests section for my interests. There isn't a section for what I WANT to do or try, so here it is:
1. Fishing in the ocean [I only know freshwater fishin', y'all hear?]
2. Skydiving
3. Need a painting class...got an easel for Christmas and am scared of it
4. Need to volunteer @ Humane Society or something, I'm so itching to help an innocent helpless animal in need right now
5. Start driving around more to get interesting photos
6. Go to more art shows
7. Redo my blog - I do have a separate blog from MySpace... I've erased most everything off it for now
8. I own maryannmattox.com and want to put my photography on it :)
9. I need more adrenaline rushes, I'm thinkin' more roller coaster rides.. I've never been to Islands of Adventure!
10. Knitting actually.. and I'm not sure why I want to try this
11. I'm also interested in paper crafting... there is even a magazine totally devoted to paper crafts
12. Travel more [what am I talking about "more", HA. I don't travel... at all. Eeesh] I know I'd love it, I'm SO curious... about everything really.
.. .. ..New Year's Eve 2007
.. .. ..
.. .. ..HALLOWEEN!
.. ..
.. ..
.. ..
.. ..
NOT HALLOWEEN
Other events

My Interests

Main interest as of late: Mr. Adrian. Then comes... Photography! Animals - anything to do with them... I'm such an animal-lover, wrapping presents, experimenting and/or just playing with stuff. I also like to raise tadpoles into frogs... DRAWING and anything to do with art really, gardening, sailing, DANCING!, reading. I also like to eat, start fires, and play with fires in general when I get the chance. I like the ocean...I love to be in, on, or just around it. I CAN cook pretty OK when I think about it but it's just not as fun as the other interests listed above.
Things I do not like... or think are silly: manicures, pedicures, spending money on my hair when I could use it to buy something useful that lasts longer.. OK, so most girly things.. I don't like; most jewelry [my few pieces right now are made of wood or bone], makeup.. it makes my skin itch, judgmental people, snobs, mall-shopping, RACISM (experienced a lifetime's worth already thank you... no room for anymore)

Other things I heart: Google, Youtube, unicorns, pegasus-unicorn hybrids, Chinese/Eastern dragons, robots, Jones Green Apple soda, apple body wash, apple body cream, apple shampoo and conditioner, DKNY Be Delicious perfume [which smells like apples], apple dish soap, apple air fresheners, insects, parasites, white tea, Sunny Delight, meat, Cheetos, Mountain Dew, chapstick, watching people smile or makeout, Starburst, Skittles, Fruit Mentos, dark chocolate [w/ mint = even better], making sand dragons, Christmas, bath and body products containing retinol, text messaging, writing rhymes, being lazy, speaking jibberish, 3am walks, practicing math tricks, attempting to make all stray cats of the world my friend via foodgifts and/or catnip, adrenaline rushes, visiting as many humane societies on my drive home to TN as I can, to play with the animals [Atlanta Humane Society rocks sox!], problem solving, finding new uses for old things, flip flops, going to the beach during a hurricane, loss of electricity and the necessity of lighting candles as the only source of light, good lightning, dipping my fingers into hot liquid wax, antique stores, Ebay, swimming underwater, the color blue, Halloween [and costumes in general], Bettie Page, Consumer Reports, watching mosquitos suck my blood, buying and trying out new bath and body consumer products, concept cars, camping/fishing/being primitive, making topiaries

I'd like to meet:

My big brother... I have a big brother in Laos that I've never met and who I didn't even know existed until I was an adult myself.

People that bewilder me, or, if I must... fun, interesting, weird, open-minded, and funny people that I can have a conversation with would be nice. I'm on AIM as buttonpie, but I'm never logged on so good luck with that. If I don't know you, and you would like to be my friend, here are just a couple o' rules:

1. Your first message to me should not be "yo wassup babe, wanna backrub" or "You so fine, hit me up" or "yo yo yo drop a line shorty". However...I have no interest in making friends with ye olde primitive man, I don't want to hit people, I am not short, and I don't drop lines or whatever, although I do tend to drop everything else :)...Plus the fact that I'm psycho about spelling and grammar, and will probably delete you if you can't spell [check it out www.m-w.com]. I know most of y'all out there have that handy high school education, right? Well, spelling is taught in elementary school, bub, you gotta know it I'd think?! Cheers to low tolerance for stupid people!

2. Do not send me messages asking me to have sex with a pony. I know I said that I'm an animal lover, but not in that way. Get a clue. I know you'd pay and everything... but um, do I look like someone who would do something like that? Like, look at me, I'm like, all sweet n' innocent n' stuff. I'm SO worth more than just $5k anyway, hahahahaha

3. I am not a massage parlor. My arms are very skinny and weak, and so I could not massage you for more than 2 minutes anyway.

Check out this pic I took last year, it's beans baby! It would make an excellent computer wallpaper. [thanks Robb for forgetting about them].. If you get grossed out by this, you might not be able to be my friend:

---------------------------------------------

Music:

I like most anything except for most country music [I do like Rascal Flatts]... Music that makes me happy = 40's.. big band music, the classics like Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong, etc. Music that I like to dance to = hiphop, R&B, rap, techno. Music that makes me sad = Toad [Toad the Wet Sprocket]. Music that I was forced to like as a child = opera.... my dad sang opera in college and so would play it sometimes. He also sang [not necessarily opera] in the mornings in his deep voice to wake us up.

I'm really into collegiate a'cappella groups. I also like drumlines... and marching bands.

Movies:

American Psycho
The Plague Dogs
Napoleon Dynamite
Garden State
Royal Tenenbaums
40 Year Old Virgin
Life Aquatic
Kill Bill
Lost in Translation
Best in Show
Memento
Snatch
Wedding Crashers
Frequency
Magnolia
Amelie
Meet the Parents
Better Off Dead
The Mothman Prophecies
Being John Malkovich
Office Space
American History X
Good Will Hunting
Heat
Scarface
Minority Report
Trainspotting
Seven
Dawn of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead
Adaptation
Love Actually
Parenthood
High Fidelity
12 Monkeys
Vanilla Sky
Zoolander
Fight Club
Heaven and Earth [Oliver Stone]
The Last Unicorn
The Flight of Dragons
Crash
Finding Neverland
Black Hawk Down
Fargo
Sling Blade
Leaving Las Vegas
Philadelphia
Born on the Fourth of July
I Am Sam
The Color Purple
Aliens
Bridget Jones's Diary
Rain Man
Empire of the Sun
National Velvet
Identity
Jacob's Ladder
Watership Down
The Other Sister
Sweet November
The Joy Luck Club
Matchstick Men
The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Family Man
Spanglish
Nurse Betty
Sixth Sense
Running with Scissors
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory [Depp version]
Pan's Labyrinth
Idiocracy

Television:

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, DesignStar [HGTV], Look What I Did [HGTV], The Office, Scrubs, Ugly Betty, Arrested Development, Smallville, Lost, Nip/Tuck, Family Guy, House, The Daily Show, Sopranos, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, South Park, Robot Chicken, Sealab 2021 [cartoons cartoons!], and any sort of gadget/technology show that I might happen to chance upon on Discovery Channel or whatnot, and/or any of those learning-type shows in which the subject is "the future"....

Books:

I don't know if I have a favorite book/books, but my favorite author is Stephen King. I also like: Dan Brown, Michael Crichton, Mercedes Lackey, Dean Koontz, Tami Hoag
Favorite magazine: T3 [British mag, stands for Tomorrow's Technology Today]
Favorite websites for some lunchtime reading while @ work: www.fark.com and www.engadget.com.
Favorite website that you might NOT want to read @ work: http://maddox.xmission.com/
You wanna shopping? Go here: www.thinkgeek.com

Heroes:

My hero is my father! He worked very hard to make sure that we had everything that we needed to do well, to be good-hearted people, and to explore our loves and interests in life. He supported me with everything I wanted to do or try, whether it be dance lessons, band, girl scouts, art, etc. He would drive 2 hours all the way to Knoxville just to buy for me the oil pencils that I loved so much. He passed away when I was 16 and I miss him very much. My mother Chanthone passed away when I was 3, and I wish I could remember her, but my father told me that she was the most wonderful and kind woman on earth. I do not know her, but I shall always look up to her as well :)

My Blog

George Carlin

I got these at work yesterday... so ok, they aren't my own thoughts [are my blogs EVER?  hah!]... they've popped into my head though at one time or another.  BUT, ya know, no one can put the...
Posted by aMARYcANN express on Thu, 30 Aug 2007 06:25:00 PST

My Wedding!

To the man-creature that I will someday marry, you will do this with me at our wedding.  You WILL do the robot with me.  If you cannot look a fool, you of no use to me!  No use!!  DO IT: ...
Posted by aMARYcANN express on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 07:02:00 PST

Existentialism and the SEX

This is a repost from friend Yoshi.  It's Yoshi existentialism and the SEX... in other words... the Yoshi meaning of life.  Do like he says, and you will reap good life: I have good life and...
Posted by aMARYcANN express on Sun, 29 Apr 2007 08:21:00 PST

Visitor's guide to Knoxville, TN [repost]

This is a repost from a friend in TN - thanks Chris!!!  This is Knoxville, the closest real city to my native little Crossville [57 miles away], and where you must go if you want to do any ...
Posted by aMARYcANN express on Mon, 26 Mar 2007 04:13:00 PST

Say hi...

...to my new little friend.  If you make me laugh as much as this random Asia-man did [how the heck do people find me - random Asia-man not even in this state!], would you like to come ...
Posted by aMARYcANN express on Tue, 10 Oct 2006 02:30:00 PST

Moving! again....

Hey-o!  Only a homeless person moves more than ME. me me me Letter attached to door.... condensed: "Git your asses out.  We aren't renewing any leases and the building will need to be vacate...
Posted by aMARYcANN express on Sat, 07 Oct 2006 11:05:00 PST

By request, fine, here is an update...

Myspace is my PLAYTIME [for fun, y'all hear?], so I don't usually type personal bla-blas, but this is in response to a request  [I guess the previous blog about the awesome man-book I bought wasn...
Posted by aMARYcANN express on Mon, 18 Sep 2006 03:39:00 PST

I JUST BOUGHT....

The best book in the universe! Disclaimer.. don't read this if you are a feminist and/or an easily offended little wimp [i.e. must have sense of humor] ;) If you read my interests, you know I lo...
Posted by aMARYcANN express on Wed, 13 Sep 2006 07:48:00 PST

Top 10 Things I Hate About Star Trek...

Star Wars!... all the way.  This is a repost... fr/ the internets: Top 10 Things I Hate About Star Trek 10. Noisy doors.You can't walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or scr...
Posted by aMARYcANN express on Sat, 12 Aug 2006 12:54:00 PST

Sooo... I finally went to the dr. today... and

I have pneumonia!  I finally got a clue last night when the Nyquil didn't work at ALL....and I had to take some shots of vodka to get to sleep.  I went to ye olde walk-in clinic today and it...
Posted by aMARYcANN express on Mon, 31 Jul 2006 03:25:00 PST