That Evil Bald Asshole Guy profile picture

That Evil Bald Asshole Guy

That's Not The Way To Get A Head In Life.

About Me


I am Evil Matt. I mean, really...what else is there.
You can pretty much figure me out by looking at all the ridiculous crap I have on this page, and by reading my hilariously misanthropic surveys and blogs. If you know me personally, then you can see this page. If not, then you get nothing.

My Interests

Reading comics, playing disc-golf, video games, drinking Samuel Adams Boston Lager and wine, doing hardcore drugs with unclean needles, going to massage parlors and fucking hookers up the pooper without a condom, worshipping the devil, baking cakes, you know....standard stuff.
AMERICA. FUCK YEAH.

I'd like to meet:

George W. Bush, so I can kick him in the nuts really hard, then unleash the bunny with sharp pointy teeth on him, as seen below.

Music:


The Current Playlist As Of Late:
iTunes-made CD compilations for my car, including...
The Classic Rock Jams Mix:
The Animals, The Byrds, The Beau Brummels, The Grass Roots, Simon & Garfunkel (yes, i like Simon & Garfunkel), ? & The Mysterians, The Classics IV, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Zombies.
The 'Everything Else' Mix:
Dio, Tenacious D, Gnarls Barkley, The Gap Band, Stevie Wonder, Wilson Picket, Jamiroquai, Johnny Cash, Richard Cheese, Brian Posehn, Iron Maiden, Peter Gabriel.
That's right. You can barely even justify calling me "Evil Matt" ever again, based on my current playlist. I mean, Christ....Simon & Garfunkel? Have I fallen from grace, or just grown up?

Movies:



Grandmas's Boy, Robocop, The Exorcist, Airheads, Coming to America, The Simpsons Movie, 300, Borat, Superman Returns, V For Vendetta, Lord Of War, Cemetary Man, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, Donnie Darko, American History X, Memento, Hotel Rwanda, Ghostworld, Reservoir Dogs, Half Baked, Planes Trains and Automobiles, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Boondock Saints, The Original Star Wars trilogy, Star Wars Episode III, Donnie Brasco, Casino, Goodfellas, Office Space, Napoleon Dynamite, Being John Malcovich, Waking Life, Dead Man, Mars Attacks, Ravenous, Tommy Boy, Black Sheep, Shawn Of The Dead, Requiem for a Dream, Blow, The Godfather 1 & 2, Gladiator, American Psycho, The Machinist, Troy, Batman Begins, Batman 1 & 2 (the Tim Burton ones), Road To Wellville, Ed Wood, Lost In Translation, Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, CB4, Deuce Bigalow (the first one), Night Of The Living Dead (original & remake), Dawn of the Dead (original & remake), Day Of The Dead, Passion of the Christ, Caligula, Animal Factory, Happiness, etc.

Television:


The History channel, The Office (UK Version), Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Simpsons, South Park, Six Feet Under, Deadwood, The Sopranos, Oz, Carnivale, Rome, Big Love, Extras, Weeds, Californication, Brotherhood, DEXTER.

Books:



Superman, Action Comics, Batman, Detective Comics, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, Jonah Hex, Countdown, "Crisis" stories, Justice Society of America, Justice League of America, The Warlord. Damn, I read too many comics.

Heroes:


DEXTER MORGAN

LARRY DAVID

WESLEY WILLIS (R.I.P.)

SUPERMAN & BATMAN

JONAH HEX

...and how could you possibly forget Calvin!

My Blog

Bi Mon Sci Fi Con!

There is nothing more exhilarating and utterly embarrassing in this world than to be at a comic book convention. Those people you never knew had a voice box in school are suddenly transformed into ch...
Posted by That Evil Bald Asshole Guy on Tue, 11 Mar 2008 05:43:00 PST

More Fun with Marketing

I took my first Marketing exam last night.  It was a piece of cake.  People are stupid, so sell them something in a nice shiny package at a ridiculous cost.  Mix, repeat. Mix, repeat.&n...
Posted by That Evil Bald Asshole Guy on Thu, 07 Feb 2008 08:21:00 PST

The street-gang mentality of homeless cats.

"Dear lord, what the fuck is Evil Matt writing about THIS time?  Street-gang mentality of homeless cats?!  Evil Matt sucks, fuck that dude." Yes, I know this is the thought that rages throu...
Posted by That Evil Bald Asshole Guy on Tue, 05 Feb 2008 06:44:00 PST

I’m so metal I shit shrapnel.

I've never felt so out of place in my life.  I guess that's what happens when you're approaching the age of 30 and still running around a college campus with a bunch of idiot 20-somethings whose ...
Posted by That Evil Bald Asshole Guy on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 12:35:00 PST

Asshole Dog

Christy and I went out to a swank-as-fuck dinner/event on Sunday Night.  Hosted by some company called All-Star, or something.  10 year anniversary.  Whoopee. Anyway, we went because t...
Posted by That Evil Bald Asshole Guy on Mon, 14 Jan 2008 08:38:00 PST

Back to tha Grind

Ah yes, to be a college student again.  Come on, you all know you miss it!  Admit it!  You all wish you were right there with me!!! So yeah, back in school finally.....and taking some ...
Posted by That Evil Bald Asshole Guy on Thu, 10 Jan 2008 11:58:00 PST

Im convinced that Ben Affleck is actually the Angel of Death.

Well, not really.....but.... I watched Hollywoodland over the Xmas break.  (that's right kiddies...I said Xmas!  So sue me!) Now, I will never say that there has ever been a good movie in ...
Posted by That Evil Bald Asshole Guy on Wed, 02 Jan 2008 01:06:00 PST

The bones in my foot just got shattered...

So I'm at work this morning.  I'm getting a job ready for shipment.  I have to pull 1,000 ft. of cable for the job.  Right when I was half-way done, I noticed that the cable spool was about to slip of...
Posted by That Evil Bald Asshole Guy on Mon, 17 Dec 2007 10:37:00 PST

I HATE children and their stupid fucking germs

My brother had a little guitar concert this past Thursday.  They played a bunch of Christmas songs.  It was unbelieveably crappy, but hey....you gotta show your support for the bro.The following day, ...
Posted by That Evil Bald Asshole Guy on Sun, 16 Dec 2007 07:13:00 PST

This is going to eventually kill me.

So i've been having this problem over the past couple of months, and it seems to get worse every day. That problem is:  I've been falling asleep behind the wheel of my car.  Every day. It ...
Posted by That Evil Bald Asshole Guy on Tue, 20 Nov 2007 01:08:00 PST