I'm Edina Monsoon - international celebrity
PR guru!
I only care about make time for the A-lister's darling!
But I'll PR you, sweetie! Yes, YOU! Yeah, but to tell you the truth I could care less about you... working for you only gives
me more work that ties to more work that I didn't even know I was supposed to be working on in the first place! AND NONE OF US WANT THAT SWEETIE!
Guess what, darling? I used to have my own TV company, Radical TV! It could have been fantastic. What happened was I sold it off to Claudia Bing a few years ago... but it was useless anyway, sweetie. I mean what's the point in having your own television company when it has no programs?!
Oh my house! I own a very expensive house in West London. Located in the extremely
luxurious Holland Park, and not just anywhere in Holland Park, the RICH *HEARTLAND* of
Holland Park! You know I live close to Madonna? Yes, it's fantastic. We're BOUND to
run into each other one day! I may just be, you know, washing my car and she'll walk past
and be all "Like, oh my god, I wash my own car too!" and then we'd be best friends and hang
out at all the hot-spots in London. Yes, that sounds fantastic...
You know Patsy Stone, my best friend and faithful drinking partner for life -- she used to be a fashion director for a magazine, who knows what it was
actually called... she now works at Jeremy's, darling. We hang out at all the hip clubs
together. We're still going strong! Still hip with the beat sweetie! You've gotta admire Pats, she hasn't eaten since 1973. Right cheers, Love ya babe!
"If it's good enough for Saddam, it's good enough for us."
Bubble is my PA -- not that she actually acts like one. I don't know why I hired her
anyway, it's not like she ever DOES anything...
Oh Serge, darling! Serge is my lovely gay son! He lives in New York, and
he's bloody FANTASTIC! And you know what? He loves me! I still can't bloody
understand why he left home in the first place.
"That's Patsy's, put the lid back on before it evaporates."
You know I only expect the best of everything, right? That's not too much to ask now is it? I mean
I bloody work hard enough, I DESERVE the best of everything -- despite what anyone like
Saffy might say. What, who's she? She's my bitch minge daughter, she unfortunatly *gag* lives with me. She's incredibly dull, she's not interesting at all darling. I keep telling her that if she turned out to be gay and
spoke French more often she'd be much more interesting! I mean, she sounds quite interesting
in French! Stupid girl always refuses my advice. Bitch Troll from Hell, as Patsy
would say. *nods* Cheers for that.
"As your mother, I can not be held responsible for your well-being, alright?!"
I've been married twice -- three times if you count Pats (long story, darling). My first husband was too short, the second one was gay. Sort of a lose/lose situation there. Unfortunately for me, neither of 'em just won't seem to fully relegate themseleves to my past. Now you see,
Saffron is from my second husband - the gay one darling, keep up here. Serge - my lovely GAY
son, is from my first husband -- the straight one.
So we ain't the bloody Walton's, so WHAAAT!
PLEASE READ GUYS - this page is for a fictional character from a television show, it has nothing to do with the real actress who portrays Edina, and this isn't Edina herself (because she isn't a real person). Now be smart and play nice, kiddies.
