70's VinÂ® - ProfilesArchive

About Me

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds â€” pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Wilma ritualistically shaved my testicles â€” there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum â€” it's breathtaking... I suggest you try it.
PS: I HEART BOOBS!
Your Porn Star Name Is...
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Music:

Yes, The Who, The Kinks, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Genesis, Alice Cooper, Kiss, Electric Light Orchestra, Frank Zappa, Bruce Springsteen, Aerosmith, ELP, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Jethro Tull, Bob Dylan, Lindsey Buckingham, The Black Crowes, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Roy Orbison, Van Halen, Rainbow, Rush, Billy Joel, Neil Young, CSN&Y, The Doors, David Bowie, Asia, Simon & Garfunkel, The Animals, Queen, Bad Company, Dire Straits, Pink Floyd, Guns 'N' Roses, Ian Hunter, Moody Blues, Elvis Presley, Rolling Stones, Santana, Billy Squier, Styx, Steely Dan, Thin Lizzy, Whitesnake, ZZ Top........I could keep going but it would take all day. Basically anything before 1990 will do......and please don't assume that I like Metallica, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Dave Matthews or any "new" punk or metal! Anything heavier than Sabbath is too heavy, anything more depressing than Floyd is just ridiculous, any pop song that ever mentions a line about Daddy not hugging me enough is just absurd, and anything released after 1980 is NOT PUNK! Ric Astley isn't considered disco, I rest my case!

Movies:

This Is Spinal Tap, Office Space, Glengarry GlenRoss, Shrek, The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, The Shining, A Clockwork Orange, Pink Floyd The Wall, Mulholland Drive, The Big Lebowski, High Fidelity, The Godfather 1-3, Amazon Women On The Moon, Heavy Metal, Clue, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Ghostbusters, Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Adventures In Babysitting, Back To The Future 1-3, Goodfellas, A Bronx Tale, Death Race 2000, Snatch, Stephen King's The Stand, Friday The 13th (any part except Jason Goes To Hell....that one sucked!), Nightmare On Elm Street & The New Nightmare (the ones in between are kinda OK, but not as good as these 2), Almost Famous, Adventures Of Ford Fairlane, a whole lot of stand-up: George Carlin , Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor & Dave Chappelle

Television:

Family Guy, Futurama, Freaks & Geeks, King Of Queens, The Sopranos, Best Week Ever, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Robot Chicken, Curb Your Enthusiasm, CSI, Drawn Together

Heroes:

LEOPOLD "BUTTERS" STOTCH

OK, my real hero is GEORGE CARLIN...The Man!