Bryan profile picture

Bryan

Greg Engle is Dead For Ten Years Today (2-4-07) , And I Feel Fucking Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

About Me

Mostly human. Was likely a polar bear in a previous life. Could subsist entirely on lobster and Summer Peach Snapple if it came down to it. Fiercely dislike religious fundamentalists. Love to bang the drums, and don't care that I got no chops. Chops are for spoogemeisters. Would NEVER hurt a frog. Insanely comprehensive memory. Such a typical Cancerian that I'm tempted to believe in astrology. Married to beautiful, artistic, thoughtful woman I don't deserve. Have degree in political science; hate politics and politicians. Have master's degree in criminal justice; hate cops. Want UFOs to land NOW. Believe laughter is highest possible human pursuit. Idolize my grandfather, with whom I disagree on most things, except steak, bourbon, practical jokes, and storytelling. Wish I'd been a Beatle. Left-handed. Smoke a pack a day and hate it. Every five years, I lose a hundred pounds and then gain it back at a rate of 20lbs per year; repeat cycle. Wish I'd been a Beatle. Can be bribed effectively with country-style ribs. Want to play the George C. Scott role in a future remake of "Dr. Strangelove." Love pears. Dislike green vegetables, which I consider a global practical joke being played by everyone else in the world on me-- they just PRETEND to like that shit so I'll feel like a weirdo. Will haunt anyone who erects a roadside memorial to me should I die in an auto accident-- extra haunts if my name should appear on a rear-window decal. Have no tattoos. Wear size 14 shoes, and the old adage is true. Unable to control laughter in situations in which laughter is highly inappropriate. Want to disembowel Mike Goens, editor of the Times-Daily. Just recently discovered that I'd been totally ignoring the brilliance of British popsters XTC, whose catalog I'm now voraciously devouring. Adore puppies. Identify strongly with seals. Read incessantly. Fantasize about the Deal twins. Wear almost exclusively blue garments. Addicted to Medal of Honor Allied Assault.

My Interests

Rock music. Books. Current Events. Films. Outdoor Activities. Baseball. Laughing. A bunch of other stuff too inflammatory, perverse, or inappropriate to mention in this context.

I'd like to meet:

Everybody.

Music:

Beatles, Beach Boys, Stone Roses, Pixies, Olivia Tremor Control, Pavement, Yo La Tengo, Frank Black, Mind Station, Breeders, Guided By Voices, Ramps, Dukes of Stratosphear, Apples in Stereo, Neutral Milk Hotel, Florence Nightengales, XTC, They Might Be Giants, Stephen Malkmus, Archers of Loaf, Crooked Fingers, Superchunk, REM, Nirvana, Blarney Stones, Jarmains, Uncle Tupelo, Roy Orbison, Buddy Holly, two Elton John songs and one Billy Joel song (that one with all them nifty historical references arranged chronologically.

Movies:

Dr. Strangelove, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Un Chein Andalou, JFK, Donnie Darko, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, CB4, Groundhog Day, The Crying Game, In The Name of the Father, Three Amigos, Pulp Fiction, The Slow Century, The Rutles, Fletch, Airplane, Noises Off!, anything by Michael Moore.

Television:

Scrubs, Curb Your Enthusiasm, South Park, Reno 911, Family Guy, News, Six Feet Under, Sopranos, Oz, Upright Citizens Brigade, Sports Night, Trailer Park Boys, 24, Arrested Development, Californication, The Office, Mad Men.

Books:

Anything by: Tom Robbins, Robert Anton Wilson, Neal Stephenson, Hunter S. Thompson, Jonathan Franzen, Kurt Vonnegut, James Ellroy, A.N. Roquelaure, Stephen Ambrose, Michael Moore, Cecil Adams.

Heroes:

Chachi Arcola, Albert Hoffmann, Wilhelm Reich, Kim Deal.