The Cat

i am a bisexual tabby cat, i am almost a year old. and i just had a litter of 5 kittens, well, 4, I ate one. there were circumstances. lets leave it at that... i currently live with four other cats: miss pepsi, she sucks and i hate her. noodle, who is my best friend and sometimes lover, and my two kittens, judge dredd, who is getting ready to move out on her own! and webster, who is "special" and is gonna stay with me, until phillip "takes care of her" as we discussed... my friends say i am moody, but i dont think thats true. they just dont understand me. one time i tried to smell fire and didnt like it, and another time i sat inside the blender when i was really little! i love reading soldier of fortune magazine, and guns and ammo. someday i would love to kill a human with my own hands. all humans with my bare hands. well, maybe not all, a few can remain as slaves(phillip, amy, and sasquatch queen) they have been good to me. i am involved in the feline liberation front. our goal is to start an independent nation for cats. so we can live in peace. and one day maybe we will have the world. right now, i am just concentrating on raising my kids, to go start their own independent cells for the final showdown. so i havent had time for my hobbies: collecting shiny things, breaking stuff, jumping into urine streams, scratching, writing erotica, and of course plotting your demise. I HATE THE VACUUM CLEANER! ONE DAY I WILL BATHE IN YOUR BLOOD, BISSEL!