Phillip FAQ
(Frequently Asked Questions)
(Updated 6/6-ish)
1. Why don't you smile?
I do smile. Everyone just always misses it.
2. Why do you always look mad?
I don't know. I only look mad. My eyebrow muscles make me look angry. I don't realize I'm doing it. I'm likely not mad at all. I don't get mad very much.
3. Why are you so pissed off?
I'm not. I just look pissed off all the time. Stop asking.
4. Will you lighten up, Phil?
Again, I told you, I'm not mad. This is my normal face. I am not pissed off as much as I look. I'm not mad at all. This is my natural face. If you keep mentioning it, though, I will start to get pissed off.
5. Why don't you talk?
I'm not very talkative, but I do talk. Feel free to talk to me. I like being talked to. I'm also known to yell when playing sports outdoors for fun, riding rollercoasters, and watching Laker games.
6. What?
I suck at speaking. Talk to me enough, though, and you'll start to understand my mumbling.
8. Why are you seeing a Blue Man show for the __th time?
Because Blue Men are sexy.
9. Why don't you shave off all your facial hair?
I just never have done it. I guess I'm afraid to, since I've never really seen myself without it. Maybe I'll do it someday, like if I want to work at Disneyland or something. I'd also shave if my girlfriend wanted me to. First I'd need one of those, though.
10. Did you understand the homework last night?
Probably not.
11. Why do you always wear shorts?
I don't like pants. Shorts show off my muscular calves better. Also, new pants are always a hassle for my short legs.
12. Are you a registered voter?
Yes, but no, I won't sign your thing, whatever it is.
13. You need new clothes.
I know.
More questions will be added when I get asked them more frequently.
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I AM 20% RAVER! Have I even been to a rave? I'll go home. I am a Loser. I suck. Actually, I am probably just a normal person taking this test and don't know why. Take the RAVER test at Fuali.com