Derekâ„¢ profile picture

Derekâ„¢

Best viewed with big, dorky glasses.

About Me


You wanna know about little ole' me? Well, where to start.
I'm just finishing up my M.D, which is a godsend. It gives me more time to volunteer at abandoned pet shelters and work with underprivileged urban kids. Many people think that this is selfless, but in truth, it works for me too. I get to practice my gourmet cooking on them. How altruistic, you might say! All these good deeds just give me material to work on my poetry. I know what you're thinking. This is too good to be true! Well, many people think that, but after I show them my modeling headshots and my European royalty paperwork, they finally submit to the fact that I'm completely awesome.
I'm also a compulsive liar.

My Interests

Technology, piano, being a jerk, gaming, painting, devouring the souls of the innocent, sketching, trumpet, cooking, movies, boating, target shooting, chess, martial arts, fishing, hunting, military conquest, writing.

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet a duck whose opinion of me is not greatly influenced on whether or not I have bread.

Music:

Jack Johnson, David Grey, Aqualung, Coldplay, Embrace, Jimmy Eats World, Reel Big Fish, Less Than Jake, The Strokes, Prodigy, Orbital, Brett Dennen, Jon McLaughlin, Foo Fighters, Green Day, Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives, My Chemical Romance, Pearl Jam, Counting Crows, Say Anything, Cary Brothers, Ben Folds, Depeche Mode, The Eels, The Black Mages, The Fray, Matt Nathanson, Damien Rice, The Low Millions, The Push Stars, Snow Patrol, Howie Day, Eels, Colin Hay, The Clarks, Cat Power, Arctic Monkeys, Joshua Radin, Rhett Miller, Citizen Cope, Joseph Arthur, Augustana, The Coral, Martin Sexton, various classical compositions (mainly piano).

Movies:

Lost in Translation, Shaun of the Dead, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Beach, Serenity, Swimming Pool, Boondock Saints, The Saint, Down Periscope, Office Space, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Monty Python, Unleashed, La Femme Nikita, The Professional, L.A. Confidential, National Lampoon, Princess Mononoke, Steamboy, Akira, Final Fantasy: Spirits Within, Shrek, Toy Story, Spirited Away, Ghost in the Shell, Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction, Oceans Eleven, Seven, 12 Monkeys, Desperado, Braveheart, Blade Runner, Star Wars, Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma, The Breakfast Club, Manhattan, The Hudsucker Proxy, Ghostbusters, About a Boy, High Fidelity, Fight Club, Super Troopers, The Count of Monte Cristo, Thank You for Smoking, Family Man, V for Vendetta, The Way of the Gun, Open Range, Grosse Point Blank, Superbad.

Television:

Life, Journeyman, Band of Brothers, Rome, Extras, Scrubs, Grey's Anatomy, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Lost, Heroes, Angel, Psych, How I Met Your Mother, Firefly, Futurama, Arrested Development, Rome, Band of Brothers, Extras, House.

Books:

A Painted House, House of Leaves, Catch-22, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Stranger in a Strange Land, Count of Monte Cristo, The Three Musketeers, Picture of Dorian Grey, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Traveler, Magician, Scaramouche, Slaughterhouse 5.

Heroes:

Why, me, of course.

My Blog

I feel terrible.

Ever do something because it would save you a lot of grief, but wasn't exactly the most humane thing to do?Yeah, I just did one of those things.  And I don't like the resulting emotion....
Posted by Derek" on Mon, 03 Sep 2007 02:46:00 PST

Business trips.

Fun fun.  I get to sit in a hotel, be bored and raid the minibar.Luckily, it's in Tucson.  I think I know some people there.
Posted by Derek" on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 01:42:00 PST

Just do it already.

I swear.  I wish they would just cut me up already.  Hurts so bad I can't sleep.  Only by the grace of God, alcohol and way too much painkillers am I even starting to get drowsy.
Posted by Derek" on Wed, 20 Jun 2007 01:05:00 PST

9 Names.

1. YOUR REAL NAME:Derek 2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 4 letters of real name plus izzle.) Dereizzle.  That doesn't really work.  Doesn't flow off the tongue. 3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav co...
Posted by Derek" on Tue, 19 Jun 2007 05:26:00 PST

Knocked Up.

I saw this movie last night.  It was funny.  But it got me thinking.All I need to do is go to a bar and find the hottest chick I can.  Get her as drunk as possible.  Knock her up.&...
Posted by Derek" on Sun, 17 Jun 2007 03:41:00 PST

Father's Day.

I just bought my Dad a coffee mug with a line down the middle that says, "Now this glass is half empty."I didn't even tell him it was from me.  I just know the second he looks at it, he'll be lik...
Posted by Derek" on Sat, 16 Jun 2007 10:15:00 PST

Home.

What is it?I mean, I have a place here that is "my" house.  I live here, and I have my shit here.  I go there after work, to sleep.  I cook meals here.  I clean this place.  H...
Posted by Derek" on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 09:49:00 PST

"Hai. Can I haz surgikal proseejure pleeze? Kay, thanx, bai."

So, after a few days of being extremely sick, I go to the doctor to find out that they want to cut open my face as soon as possible and fiddle around with removing the schnickerdoodle.  Now, this...
Posted by Derek" on Mon, 11 Jun 2007 01:18:00 PST

Ugh, sickly.

You know it's going to be a good day when you start out by vomiting all over yourself.Yeah.  So I get to go back to surgery soon.  Not that the first time wasn't fun, but at least Hallie was...
Posted by Derek" on Wed, 06 Jun 2007 02:41:00 PST

(NO) New Car.

So, I've been testdriving a lot of cars lately.  Today was the Acura TSX.Best.  Car.  Ever.So I bought it.EDIT:  I didn't buy it.  I went and returned it.  I'm such a chi...
Posted by Derek" on Tue, 05 Jun 2007 09:23:00 PST