Felix profile picture

Felix

An attempt at a clever and witty remark goes here.

About Me

    Nigerian-American, Igbo Kwenu!!! I pee straight into the toilet with 92% accuracy I routinely overrate myself and my abilities which invariably leads to crushing defeats and letdowns I have a way with women... ...which doesn't work I work in the oilfield with (literally IN THE OILFIELD, I mean oil spouting out hundreds of feet into the air, grown ass men doesy-doeing with each other at the sight of oil, while "Dueling Banjos" plays in the background) coworkers who moonlight as Dukes of Hazard extras and I love it!! People with bad attitudes defeat me..they drain my life force like a parasite, rendering me useless I like to make people chuckle, however I'm much, much better at annoying them, remarkable in fact I was 6'4" for over half of my life, but now I'm 6'2" Still wondering what I'm gonna do when I grow up.

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My Interests

Chasing women who have no interest in me ;) I have a variety of interests that range from music, to movies, to plays, politics, and sports. None of which I'm currently into.

I'd like to meet:

    Inigo Montoya People exactly like me..I like me, so I figure I'd like them too.. Travis, my 2nd grade bully. I'd lay 4-1 odds on me being able to whip his ass right now........unless of course he's bigger than me, in which case meeting him wouldn't rank this high on my list. People who try to cross the freeway on foot. Just to share old war stories A good cook. I'm hungry.

Music:

Common, John Legend, Jet, Coldplay, UGK, Slum Village, Jay Z, D'Angelo, Maxwell, Black Crows, Lenny Kravitz, Marvin Gaye, Talib Kweli, Hall & Oates, Anthony Hamilton, John Mayer, Jackson 5, The Killers, The Rolling Stones, The O'Jays, The Elements (Earth, Wind, & Fire), Erykah Badu, Lauren Hill, Ray Charles, Maroon 5, Duke Ellington, Sade, B.B. King, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Kayne West, A Tribe Called Quest, Aerosmith, Jill Scott, U2, Weezer, Raheem Devaughn and others.

Movies:

Seven, American Psycho ( Patrick Bateman is the shit and my hero....except for the slight psychosis), City of God (Great Fucking Movie and it's where the "Knockout Ned" moniker comes from), Batman Begins (Christian Bale is perfectly cast in this role) Usual Suspects, Love and Basketball (I wish I had a chick like that....minus the being able to drill my ass in basketball part), Princess Bride, Menace to Society, Coming to America (the funniest movie ever made, and I consider it a biopic, of my life in particular,...well maybe not), Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrells, Snatch (both Guy Ritchie [Madonna's Husband] movies), Crash (great scene transitions, multilayered characters who weren't cliche), Blaxplotation flicks and others.

Television:

Sports and shit.

Books:

Guns, Germs, and Steel(A fascinating and thought provoking book), Barbarians at the Gate, When Genius Fails, Liar's Poker, The Purpose Driven Life, Monkey Business, Invisible Man, The Game, The Da Vinci Code, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, and that's it...that's the list.

Heroes:

My Mom and Dad, came to this country equipped with only prayer and desire and succeeded despite all the obstacles.

My Blog

Cops gone wild!!!

Saturday, undercover police fired 50 shots at a car carrying a Bell, a deliveryman and father of two, as he left his bachelor party at the Kalua Cabaret in Jamaica about 4 a.m. Two other men were inju...
Posted by Knockout Ned on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 05:58:00 PST

Thought for the day

I was lied to. All those people telling me all my life that making the NBA was a 1 in a million shot were lying their asses off. It was obviously a ploy to get Eric Snow into the NBA. His 10 year care...
Posted by Knockout Ned on Thu, 02 Nov 2006 05:52:00 PST

Check out this comedian: Shorties...Rating system

Dwayne PerkinsPosted By:Dwayne PerkinsGet this video and more at MySpace.com  ...
Posted by Knockout Ned on Wed, 01 Nov 2006 10:14:00 PST

Check out this comedian: Platonic Friends

Posted By:Dwayne PerkinsGet this video and more at MySpace.com...
Posted by Knockout Ned on Wed, 01 Nov 2006 10:40:00 PST

Louisiana

Only place in the country where the following sequence of events could take place. Coworker: You thirsty? Me: Does Dylan spit hotfire? Coworker: Huh? Me: Did Hov tell us so we wouldn't have to go thr...
Posted by Knockout Ned on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 04:17:00 PST

Thought for the day.

The Velour Jumpsuit ...............The originator of this creation needs some sort of accolade for his/her contribution to society. A Nobel Prize, an endowed scholarship, a beer.......Shit!!...
Posted by Knockout Ned on Tue, 05 Sep 2006 04:07:00 PST

Another day in La..........not that La.

Being fairly new to the burgeoning Lafayette metropolis, I'm not well versed in the local goings on and happenings. So what better place to go than the PUBLIC LIBRARY to figure out what Lafayette has ...
Posted by Knockout Ned on Fri, 18 Aug 2006 10:46:00 PST

Bluetooth Ear pieces...........

.............like giving that (what's up) look to someone who is actually giving the (what's up) look to someone who is directly behind you, it's an akward moment waiting...
Posted by Knockout Ned on Wed, 19 Jul 2006 01:55:00 PST

Myspace page log...................

................. I mean come on......Is it really necessary?  Everytime I get a new bulletin about some new upcoming method to track page views I begin to sweat, my heart increases to a rab...
Posted by Knockout Ned on Wed, 12 Jul 2006 06:34:00 PST

Top 10 Sporting events that kicked me in the nuts

Now anyone who has been kicked in the nuts is aware of the intense pain that is caused by this act. There is no pain known to man that can compare to this pain (And women, spare me your child birth ex...
Posted by Knockout Ned on Fri, 23 Jun 2006 11:25:00 PST