How to make your very own Charlie Barnes!
Ingredients:
• 500g Thom Yorke
• 500g Mike Vennart
• 1 packet of Matthew Bellamys (finely crushed, try to avoid the heavier pieces)
• 2 Imogen Heaps (womanhood removed, beaten with a whisk)
• 3 Tablespoons of Sainsbury’s Organic Scott Walker
• A pinch of powdered Sigur Ros
• 1 Heaped teaspoon of Dark Side of the Moon
• The zest of 1 and a half Robert Smiths
• 1 65DaysofStatic or half an Aphex Twin (chopped in half and juiced)
• A knob of unsalted Peter Gabriel, for greasing your tin
• Half a pint of condensed Pierre Schaeffer (chilled)
• Half a pint of Paul Mullen/Fyfe Dangerfield (chilled)
• A handful of crumbled Jeff Buckley for decoration
Directions:
1. Sift your Thom Yorke and Mike Vennart together in a large bowl
2. Add the 65DaysofStatic/Aphex Twin into the mixture, stirring constantly to allow plenty of air in.
3. In a separate bowl, whisk together your Imogen Heaps, Scott Walker and Pierre Schaeffer until you have a thick paste
4. Combine the two, adding in your Paul Mullen/Fyfe Dangerfield to bring a little more flow into the mixture.
5. Once your mixture is smooth, add in the zest of Robert Smith and pinch of Sigur Ros, ensuring that they are spread evenly.
6. Whisk the mixture until it stands in soft (but well dressed) peaks, adding a heaped teaspoon of Dark Side of the Moon for extra thickness.
7. To make the base, tightly pack your crushed Matthew Bellamys into the bottom of your tin (making sure you’ve greased it with Peter Gabriel first to avoid sticking). TOP TIP: For your second cake, why not try mixing in a little dessicated Erik Satie or Philip Glass for extra flavour?
8. Pour your mixture over the top, decorating with crumbled Jeff Buckley.
9. Leave in your cold, dark, lonely fridge for 18 or so years until it is thoroughly set in its ways.
10. Serve with warm custard.
