lil johnny profile picture

lil johnny

Come on baby Jesus, I'll fight you right now

About Me

If you type my name into the Google search engine, the first thing that comes up is "Brent McKnight died on Saturday, November 27, 2004." I knew I sucked at life, I just didn't realize it was that bad.

My Interests

movies where things explode, stories no one cares about, dogs that don't belong to me.

I'd like to meet:

someone with the skill set necessary to explode a blow up doll in mid air with a rocket launcher. anyone?

Music:

Neil Diamond, Zombi, Scott Baio (yes he has records, and yes I have one, and yes it is autographed), R. Kelly, 70's Italian crime drama theme songs, the Conan the Barbarian soundtrack, Skynyrd, Born Against, Andy Kim.

Movies:

Wild Zero, For Y'ur Height Only, Virgins From Hell, Roadhouse, the Apple is by far the best movie ever, anything with zombies and bodies of water, and Andy Sidaris, that man is a visionary fucking genius, Logan's Run, the Smokey and the Bandit trilogy, Blue Planet, Dirty Harry, Cyborg, really anything where Van Damme does the splits or we get to see Mel Gibson's ass, and Boxer's Omen, Django, Party 7, Bittersweet Life, Commando, Straight to Hell, the Great Silence, Ten to Midnight, I have a dog named Bronson if that's any clue.

Television:

Neil Diamond Live by Request, Charles in Charge, Happy Days, Joanie loves Chachi, Red Dwarf, Magnum PI, Surreal Life, Arrested Development. I also use appreciation of Upright Citizens Brigade as a litmus test for friendship. Americas Next Top Best Friend. Whatever happens to be on at the bar.

Books:

I like books. I like books a lot.

Heroes:

Mr. Driller, Dick Turtle Space Pirate, Weng Weng, Garee, Elwood Taneyhill, Charlie Bracken.