What is there to say about Ol' T-Bone? I think I read somewhere once that that guy is awesome. I'm not sure where. I think that was an article Douche-Bag Weekly. Why do douche bags need a magazine? More importantly, why does it come out every week? And even more importantly, why would they write an article about T-Bone? That guy is awesome. All these questions and more will be answered in next weeks issue of Douche-Bag Monthly. Wait, I thought that magazine came out every week? Apparently a symptom of being a douche bag is a weak grasp of time. Well enough about T-Bone and his awesomeness/douche bagness/awesomeness again. Now it's time for that Forbes Magazine patented shout-outs.
The first one goes out to a Miss Jordan "Jorgie" Chism. I think you are awesome. Thanks for hanging out and putting up with me. One of these days I am going to punch a bird, and I will be sure to give him an extra little sock in the arm/wing just for you. *wink*. The second first one goes out to a Mr. Greig "Tof 'Jorgie' " Jameson. I have known you for a long time, and I think we need to call it quits. I hate to break this to you via Myspace, but I feel it needs to be done. If you have any questions, please read next Tuesday's issue of Douche-Bag semi-annually. The next first one goes out to a Mr. Alex "Ander" Chisum. Remember that time that you threw the ball and Lavar Burton fell in the hole. That was out of control. You were all "Hey, Lav-Lav just fell in the hole." And I was all "What hole? ToF's butt hole?" And you were all "Yeah." Did he ever get out? Who cares. If he didn't, I'm sure it's a lot nicer in there than it was in his last home; Jimmy Stewart's tonsils. Then there is Mr. Anthony "Smoking Balls" Luciani. Remember the time that I threw the butt hole and Chi-Z punched Lavar Burton in the balls? I was all like "WHOA." And you were all like "Does this look infected?" It was infected. Remember how infected that was? That was so infected. Damn. Mr. Justin "Mr." Borge is next up to bat. What is there to say about Justin? Buy me a bike. I was going to give Mr. Brandon "I'm a stupid Puerto Rican" Reeder the next shout out, but I accidently forgot. Whoops. Ah yes, now it is time for Miss Sarah "Vroom Vroom" Luciani. We made it baby. We made it....baby.
That is about all I am going to write. If any of you made it all the way through this, please read next March's issue of Douche-Bag hourly for more information on if there is a prize, and how to redeem it.
