Setting Captives free! I love prison ministry and working with youth. I love watching them from week to week. The ygo from hopeless and addicted to beautiful and set free! I am so blessed to be a part of something awesome!
I love God's Word and how it tranforms lives!
Anyone sold out for Jesus. Women in need of help!
For Chaplains and anyone else looking into our "Untying the Lies that Bind Program" ,
Summary of “Untying the Lies†Program
As you are well aware, there are many ministries, programs and bibles studies in the prison system. Why would you choose this program when so many others are available? Our prayer is that after you look through the packet and the workbook, you will know what separates this program from the rest.
We are not coming in for just an evangelistic event only to leave them with no tools to live out the commitments they have made. We are aware that often times when people make a decision for Christ but do not have the tools to change, they will not only give up on themselves but God as well. They will believe that they tried the “God thing†but it didn’t work. After working with small groups of inmates over many years, we have developed this program for their specific needs. Not only to we present the gospel, but we deal with the issues that have led them to destructive patterns.
We will talk about the generational sin and the way it is passed down if someone does not stop it. We will also teach them step by step how to stop it. We will address addiction, depression and the need to feel loved that has driven many into relationships that can do nothing but harm. We will teach them what the Word says about the heart (Jeremiah 17:9) and how deceitful it really can be at times.
We will also teach that until we take responsibility for the decisions made, we will not receive healing or freedom. We will be talking about the price others have paid for our mistakes and how they have been higher than expected and will last longer if we do not do something to change. We will talk about how selfishness disguises itself with words like “low self-esteem, addiction and depression.†This is all presented though the Word. We will be using examples of David, Solomon, Gideon and the Israelites.
Once we have taken responsibility, repented and turned from sin, we will then talk about Hosea the Prophet and God’s love and mercy for us. This will bring us to a place of worship and reverence for God. Here is what separates this program from others, We will then teach them how to identify spiritual warfare by recognizing the lies and schemes of Satan. We will teach them step by step, lie by lie, how to put on the full armor of God and fight back. They will be able to not only know when they are under attack, they will know how to do something about it. Here are two examples:
Satan says “You can do it one more time, no one will knowâ€
They will learn what God says “What benefit did you gain from the very things you are now ashamed of, those things lead to death.â€
Satan says “do what feels right, follow your heart.â€
God says “the Heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.â€
They will learn to hide God’s Word in their hearts so it will rise up inside them when the time comes to fight against temptation, lies and any other schemes of Satan.
As you can see, it is very intense as well as life changing. There is much more to this program provided in this packet. Please check out the rest, you will see what makes “Untying the Lies†different from the rest. We would love to talk with you and find out how we can help the women in your facility not only find the love of Christ, but also be changed forever.
For more Information on the program, please call or email us:
By Phone Sandy (972)345-3579, by email: [email protected] or by mail Set them Free Ministry 3020 Legacy Drive suite 100 PMB 143 Plano Tx 75023
Casting Crowns, Barlow girl, Newsboys, Third Day, Jars of Clay, Jeremy camp, Bebo Norman, Hillsong.
Watch this video! make sure and watch the whole video - it's awesome. Well, I think it is! We did this skit for the prison ministry benefit. We may have not done it as well as the original but its not bad! :) Don't for get to pause the profil song first!:)..
Here is the story behind the butterflies....
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness
and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.
Author Unknown to Me
Why Butterflies?
How many times do we ask God to take away a struggle that was meant to make us stronger? We can get frustrated because God will not snip away the struggle and set us free. All the while, HE knows it is in the struggle that true freedom will emerge.
I have a mentor that shared this story with me years ago. She has helped me to see that in God's perfect timing, I would emerge stronger, wiser and free! Every event I attend she calls me to pray for me. Her first words to me are "Good morning, butterfly girl!"
So, this former caterpillar now gets to flutter and fly around teaching God's Word- that's why I love the butterfly!
The girls we work with are the same - we don't call them xcons, we call them butterflies! You really should see how beautiful these particular butterflies are!!
In Him.......Sandy
Everbody Loves Raymond!
The Bible! This Present Darkness, Breaking Free!******************************************************* ****
Jesus, my mommy, Beth Moore - the girls who come out of prison and get their lives back!
Here are some testimonies og the girls I am SO PROUD OF!!
Testimonials
From Amy / Denton County
Sandy,
I needed you to know how much your classes have touched and helped me. It brought me closer to got and helped me face going to prison. Sandy, it changed my life! I am so at peace (it's kinda scary)in some ways and in others it's great! I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart.
The verses I learned I still say everyday and have memorized even more since then.
Whatever happens from this point, I know i will be okay because I know Gid has a plan for me! I just wanted you to know what a difference you've made in my life!
Thank you and God bless you,
Amy
************************************************************
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From Latrice“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.†Galations 2:20 NASBHi my name is Latrice Michaud and up until October last year, I was filled with a tremendous amount of guilt, shame, and hopelessness. It was only then, on that day, that I finally realized that God still loved me and would forgive me for the many mistakes that I chose to make.
My childhood was filled with a lot of confusion, regret and disappointment. When I was 3 years old I vividly remember the beginning of many years of sexual abuse by someone whom I trusted and admired. I did not recognize the wrong in the inappropriate behavior to which I was exposed to. In my mind I thought it was a normal life style and so it took quite some time before I learned to hate the person who I once loved.
My parents divorced when my older sister, my twin, and I were just little babies. My mom eventually fell in love again and married when I was 3 ½ years old. At that time my step dad had no children of his own. I love and still respect my step dad and within about a year and a half of their marriage, soon after my brother was born, we started calling him dad. He is a great father and a hard worker, but suffered from alcoholism. Unfortunately because of his addiction, at times, he would become angry and violent. Again this lifestyle was something I did not realize was abnormal. Though I hated the yelling, the fighting, and feared the worst when my dad was drunk I didn't understand that many families did not go through these episodes.
When I was 12 years old my family moved from Texas to Virginia. During the move my 3 siblings and I stayed with my Aunt and Uncle, while my mom, dad, and littlest sister drove the moving truck all the way to our new home. During that week I saw the close relationship between my Aunt, Uncle, and their son. I asked why they never yelled and fought and my aunt witnessed to me of Christ and their commitment and desire to have a Godly home. A home filled with prayer and determination to live in God's will. Shortly after that experience I decided to live for Christ.
I knew Jesus paid the ultimate price for my sins on that cross and had asked God to come into my heart at the age of 13. Even though, I never really understood how my relationship with Him could be, because I didn’t know how to plug into His word.
My siblings and I attended church starting at a young age, but it was usually by ourselves because the church had a bus that would pick kids up throughout the neighborhood. In Virginia we attended a bible church as a family. I was very happy and felt more love and a closer bond to my family as a whole. However we were just the “typical Sunday Christians†who struggled during the rest of the week to live by faith through the son of God which comes by the power of the Holy Spirit.
My mom has always professed to be a Christian. As a child, we never had a positive roll model in our home life to learn about the power of God's word through knowledge gained or prayer. The lack of influence drew my flesh to be tempted many times into sin and I never new how to stand firm against it. I slowly became discouraged and angry at God. I thought once I was born again I would never give into sin. How untrue that is!!!! The spiritual warfare was something I was not prepared for and I had no idea on how to allow the Holy Spirit live through me.
In high school, I decided to start attending Fellowship of Christian Athletes and Young Life. These 2 programs were a great way to fellowship with other Christians after school and on the weekends. I made some good friends and enjoyed the positive environment. Still my lack of quiet time in the Holy Word of God prevented me from fully understanding how to allow Christ to rule in my heart, mind, and soul. As much as I tried in my flesh to live as a Christian I failed many times. Too often I would tell God how I wanted to be a Christian and not let Him take over. As a result, my teens years were filled with living in the moment and continuing to regret my sins after the fact. God was always looking out for me and protected me in times, which I can't thank Him enough for.
I met my husband when I was only 20 years old on April 1st 1998. After living together for a couple of weeks we were married on May 23rd of the same year. I was in love and new exactly what I didn't want in a marriage. The problem was I didn't really know how to accomplish the perfect fairy tale marriage I had always dreamed of. Soon after our marriage began is when I decided to ask about his faith in God... which their was none. As you can imagine it did not make our marriage any easier. Within 6 months I became very depressed and my marriage spiraled downhill. My depression drove me to become more and more selfish. I eventually attempted suicide as a cry for help.
I went through many months in and out of behavior health units, different medications, and multiple psychiatrists and counselors. Through all that we realized I suffer from a chemical imbalance of the brain which I was born with. Though with the corrective medicine, I was still not satisfied and was searching for something more.
My husband and I fought, lied to, and deliberately hurt each other. We separated many times until we eventually divorced in October 2000.
I moved back home with my parents, who now live back, in Texas. I became very angry with God. I didn't understand why He let my life be so terrible. I felt deceived as a Christian and didn't want any part of church or God.
I was introduced to using drugs in December 2000. I was hooked!!! I quickly learned to enjoy the lifestyle of experimentations and quickly could not live without methamphetamines. All the while I could hear God in my heart... crying for me. As much as I tried to ignore His words of love and compassion He just would not leave me alone. God was still looking out for me and He never gave up. I truly believe, at that time in my life, angels were protecting me in the unsafe surroundings which I chose to be in the midst of.
Even more then ever the spiritual warfare in my heart, mind, and soul was more then I could bare. I became increasingly convinced that there was no way I could return to Christ. I was nothing and I would never amount to anything. I was convinced that God would never forgive me because I was committing so many illegal crimes and immoral sins.
I had a moment of hope and faith in the power of prayer when my twin overdosed on tylonal and was expected to die. After a week in the hospital with no hope from the doctors she overcame the impossible. My ex-husband and I started talking again as a result of this incident. During our time away from each other he excepted Christ into his heart as his Lord and Savior. This wonderful news also gave me hope in the power of Christ's awesome grace.
My ex-husband moved down to Texas where we became members of Parkway Baptist Church. We were re-married on July 13th 2002 after pre-martial counseling with our paster. We did it the right way this time and were very happy. God is so good. My husband and I formed a bond together, which can only happen, through Christ. Our relationship was blessed. However, no matter how much I prayed and read the word I ignored Gods' request to give my life completely over to Him. I tried to be the best Christian I imagined I should be. Even though, none of us will ever know God's ultimate plan and path for us while we are on this earth.
Unfortunately I kept a terrible secret from my husband and my family. I was still very addicted to methamphetamines. I, in my flesh, tried many times to quit this disgusting and dangerous habit. I convinced myself however, that because I held a good job, had good hygiene, kept my house cleaned, paid my bills, and went to church I was not an addict. How wrong I was!!!!!!
After a 3 year habit of deceit I became too tired and physically sick of hiding. I confessed to my Aunt, who is my mentor, of the problem I had. My family, who are all now very much involved in learning God's will, pulled together to help me and pray for me. I am very thankful of God's awesome transformation in each of my family member's life. After a month of detox I was determined to stay clean. I promised myself I would never use again. All the while, in my flesh, I was weak and never leaned on Christ for the strength needed to stand firm in the evil schemes of the devil.
Once again I fell into my addiction. Once again I was very angry at God and myself for not being the perfect Christian I thought I was able to be. I quickly began to withdrawal from my entire church family and accused my chemical imbalance for the reason of my erratic behavior.
My addiction led me to lie, steal, and cheat many times over. I hurt and disappointed everyone who loved and cared for me, but I didn't care anymore. I was so lost. I was a cheater, a liar, and an addict. I didn't care for my well being or safety. With no surprise my unpredictable rage and poor health increased. And ultimately on September 26th 2005 I was arrested for assault to a family member.
That moment of violence towards my husband, who loved me and was trying to help me, sent me to jail. I was locked up and I didn't care. I was cold and had a hard heart. I was full of hate and knew that no one would ever forgive me, especially God. Being behind the confines of four cement walls, however, gave me a sense of safety. I had shelter. I truly did not want to use drugs anymore. Also, I feared I would be homeless if I was released. I declined being bonded out of jail and even refused a court appointed attorney if and when my case ever went to trial. The way I looked at it was, I had 3 square meals a day and a bed to sleep in.
Being locked up with a bunch of girls, however, led me to attend any program possible that would get me out of my pod in hopes of seeing guys. The programs or classes were of no importance to me.... it was just something to do to pass the time away. My intentions were of the flesh but God had another plan in mind.
Collin County Detention Facility chose, among many other programs, to have, “Untying The Lies That Bind Us.†The class is ran by a wonderful, God led, woman named Sandy Stiles. On Wednesday October 3rd 2005 I happen to walk into into her class, which God used to Change my life forever.
“Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you; And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; How blessed are those who long for Him.†Isaiah 30:18 NASB
On that beautiful day Sandy taught from the Book of Judges. I was trapped in the most inescapable situation and God had planned it that way all along. He finally was able to reach down in the depths of my heart, my mind, and my soul when I was at my lowest of lows. I had no where to run and no excuse not to listen. The Lord showed me that He has never left me and would never forsake me. It was a tremendous revelation to learn that when I completely acknowledge and except my sin, as my choice, and fully confess them to our Lord that He will forgive me. Even when I had sinned time and time again He was, and is, always there with His arms wide open!!! It was truly amazing to feel my heart overflow with a transformation of love and not hate in that very moment. I finally got it!!!!!
God is so good. I spent 27 days behind bars and it was the absolute best thing that could have ever happened to me. An amazing end to this chapter of my life is that the court system dropped all charges against me from my arrest. I believe it is the power of Our Lord and Savior that made this possible and for that I am thankful.
The battle on this earth is not won. The spiritual warfare that I experience is even stronger than I have ever experienced before. This time, However, I have victory in knowing that I can stand firm through the Word of God and turn away from my sin. God has given me, just as He gives all of us, a choice and I choose Him. Thankfully, I have been given the opportunity to discern, a little better now, on what is a lie from Satan and what is truth from God. This doesn't mean I always listen right away, but the discipline to do what is right is in my heart. I am learning how tap into that daily.
Ephesians 6:11 states, that we all need to “ Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.†NASB
My armor is the Word of God. To put on my armor takes a great deal of effort and strength that is not my own. Putting on the armor of God is not possible without daily prayer and knowledge gained through quiet time in the Word of God. It is not enough to be a Christian,.... you have to be ready for the fight.
Each day I wake up, I am thankful and excited to learn something new of who Christ wants me to be. Wow!! Now that I am being transformed to be more sensitive to the will of God in my life. I have seen just a glimpse of how wonderful it is to be submissive through the desire to obey in the Lord Jesus Christ. Even when I fail I know God will pick me up and I am determined to press on as long as I am on this earth.
I have a past full of sin. I have a past full of hate and disappointment, but I have been crucified with Christ. I will not allow Satan to convince me otherwise. Even though in my flesh I have too many things to be ashamed of, I now know there is nothing gained from looking back. So I have every intention of living for today in the here and the now. I focus on the unseen and not what is seen because this earth, and all it's contents, is temporal. I know there is an eternal life that's waiting for me in heaven. (2 Cor. 4:18)
2 of my most frequently spoken prayers are these 2 verses I want to share with you now.
“What benefit did you reap from the very things you are now ashamed of. For those things result in death.†Romans 6:21NIV
“Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything is worthy of praise, dwell on these things.†Philippians 4:8 NASB
I pray that these verses speak volumes to you the way they speak volumes to me every day of my new life in Christ. Jesus is the best high and the best friend any of us could ever fathom in our own mind.
It so much more important to grasp hold of these truths and not let go than it is just to sit there and read it. God is so good and He longs to be gracious to those who seek Him. So I have my battle verses ready.
I want to end my testimony with some hope. Some words I, and we all, can rejoice over. It comes from one of my favorite verses in the Bible.
“So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord. His going forth is as certain as the dawn; And He will come to us like the rain, Like the spring rain watering the earth.†Hosea 6:3 NASB
This is my Testimony and I rejoice in all I have experienced in my life. I realize that I would not be the person I am today without all that God has placed in my path.
Now, I can say that, I desire to “Prove to be a doer of the Word of God and not merely a hearer who deludes themselves.†James 1:22.
** Update on Latrice**
Latrice is now going into Prisons with me to share her testimony!! What a Mighty God we serve!
From Janet - Denton County
My Childhood is a little blurry as I cannot recall much of it. My Dad worked for Mobile Oil doing seismograph work. When He completed the work in one town we would move to another small town in Texas or Southeastern New Mexico. We moved every 6 months while I was growing up. I had one brother who is 14 months older than me. He was very shy and introverted, which meant I had to be the outgoing one if we were going to meet people in these various towns. It was not hard for me to adapt to new towns and new friends, I believed this was the way everyone grew up. If these changes bothered me, I would stuff my feelings and pretend all was ok.
My parents were very religious and loving and did the best they could raising us. We grew up in the Church of Christ which back in the old days was a religion of fire and brimstone. I saw God as a punishing God, not a loving forgiving God. I believed you had to walk a straight and narrow line and if you deviated from this line you were condemned forever. I always felt “less than†and “unworthyâ€. I also had a secret that I was going to take to the grave with me. I was never going to talk to anyone about it because then they would know what a really bad person I was. I had that secret from the time I was 12. I spent the next 34 years stuffing that secret so deep inside of me that I even forgot about it.
I remember when I was 13 and had severe cramping my Dr. would give me Tylenol 3 or hydrocodone. I remember that I loved that drug because it made me feel “different†. I don’t remember how old I was when I took my first drink, but I remember loving the alcohol! I could enjoy life, dance, be sexy – whatever I wanted, when I got enough alcohol in my system, I no longer cared what other’s thought.
I graduated high school at 16 and started college at 17. I excelled in College – I was always on the Dean’s Honor List and graduated with honors. I graduated from College at 21 and had a great job at TI in Houston. I got married at 22 and that was a very abusive marriage. I was divorced at 23 and my self-esteem was non-existent. I drank every day after work and was introduced to cocaine at 24. I loved that drug too. Anything that would make me not feel!
At 24 I almost died from alcohol poisoning. I had a psychiatrist tell me I was allergic to alcohol and that for me to drink in any form was for me to die. I spent the next 22 years of my life proving him wrong. Not only did I drink, I started using methamphetamines on a regular basis – mainly for weight control. I was a functional addict until 2001 that was my first arrest. I was arrested for possession of methamphetamines. I bonded out and 2 wks later was my 2nd arrested again for another possession charge. I received 3 years deferred adjudication. I was still not convinced I had a problem. I lost my job at Verizon making 50+/yr and found it was very difficult to find a job in accounting and finance with a felony charge. So I started selling drugs. I found ways to pass my drug tests for probation. My Addiction had me heart and soul and my life was 24/7 revolved around drugs. In Feb 2004, I had my 3rd arrest – this time it was a 1st degree felony for Manufacture with intent to deliver and carried a sentence of 5 – 99 years.
I May of 2004, I checked into rehab because I knew that would be my only salvation from prison. I decided to give sobriety a chance. I started attending AA and started believing there might be a God that could restore me to sanity. I still had my 1st degree felony charge pending but my attorney wanted me to have as much clean time as I could get before going before the judge. I was baptized on June 20, 2005 and truly accepted Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savoir of my life on that day. On July 28, 2005, I went before the Judge for sentencing. I was sentenced to 6 years in Texas Department of Corrections.
That was a rough time for me. I could not understand why, with all the changes in my life that God did not deliver me from prison. What I know today is that God does not promise to deliver us from the consequences of our actions – what He does promise is that He will walk beside us through the Fire.
I spent 13 months in prison and I now look at that as a time God used for me to build a strong foundation with Him and to learn who He truly is – He is an Awesome God who can make Beauty from Ashes.
While I was incarcerated, I took a class that changed my life and I will never be the same because of this class. It was called Untying the Lies that Bind. It was an awesome class. Sandy talked about the idols we bow down to – drugs, alcohol, money the list goes on and on. She also talked about the lies that Satan tells us – I’m a bad person, God can’t possibly love me, God will never forgive me ………. And how to fight those lies with the Word of God. That class gave me tools that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. The class also helped me to let go of a lot of baggage I had from my Childhood. Sandy was willing to share her life story with us. I started unburying the secret I had from Childhood. That secret was when I was 12, I was playing at the school one afternoon by myself and there were 5 older guys there that took turns having sex with me. I was raped! Satan had twisted that in my head to where I believed I was the one at fault and that was such a lie. I was a victim and Satan used that lie to rob years of my life. Satan convinced me that I was unworthy in God’s eyes and that I had chosen to have sex before I was married and I was going to Hell because of something out of my control. That is Satan – he is here to kill, steal and destroy.
But Thank God – The truth set me free. That truth is that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and He died for my sins. I just love 1Timothy 1:15 “And this is a true saying and everyone should believe it. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners –and I was the worst of them all. But that is why God had mercy on me, so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life.
Another verse that helped me while I was locked up is Jeremiah 24:6-7 “I led them into captivity for their own good. I have seen that they are well taken care of and will bring them back here again. I have built them up and not torn them down. I have planted them and not uprooted them. I have caused their hearts to recognize me as their Lord and they will be my people and I will be their God for they have returned wholeheartedly to me.â€
I was released from Prison on August 22, 2006. God has worked miracles in my life. He has delivered me from the bondage of Addiction. In Daniel it talks about 3 guys being thrown into the fire because they worshipped God and would not bow down to the King and how a 4th person was in that fire with them. It also talks about when God delivered them from the fire; they did not even smell of smoke. If you met me today, unless I choose to tell you my story, you would never know what I have walked through, because I do not even smell of smoke. God has made beauty of these ashes. God has restored my life. I have a wonderful job that according to man standards I should not have because of my felonies. I think God is teaching me to trust Him right now and to learn to walk by faith and that in ALL my circumstances HE will take care of me.
I have to stay in His Word to get instructions for my daily living. I have learned that if I talk to Him, He will instruct me by His word. I have to daily give my life to him. I have to hit my knees every morning when I wake up and ask Him for His Will not mine be done today. I also have to be willing to share with others what He has done for my life.
From Betty - Collin County
January seems like such a long time ago and yet at times, it feels like yesterday that I first walked into your Bible study class. I was confused and still craving the drugs and hating the world, especially the man upstairs. My life was a mess and now.... I am going into elementary, middle and high schools sharing my testimony!! I am nervous but I know my Heavenly Father will speak for me!
ME?? Betty!! ex-drug addict,ex inamte, ex alcoholic! WOW, I love God!!
You showed me to have faith and that God had a plan for my life - that I was important too and that God loved me. Well, this is me- BEtty, your sister in Christ and your friend forever. I am so in love with my Heavenly Father as I know you are.
Love you forever,
Betty
*There was much, much more to BEtty's letter but you get the point. She has gotten her children, her life and her hope back. She is now living in Washington and starting her own business as well as getting ready to share the hope of Christ with troubles kids - HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!!!!
From Christy -Collin County
I never thought I would be in jail. I grew up with God. I went to church. But somewhere along the way, I lost my truth. I lost my faith. I got sick, bith mentally and physically and through the discouragement of my illnesses, satan found a stronghold. I became hopelessly addicted to painkillers. At the height of my addiction, I was taking 90 pills a day. I couldn’t work, so I lied, and stole to pay my rent and keep myself high. I forged prescriptions because I couldn’t get enough pills from the doctor to support my habit. By that point, being high was not a choice – it was what I had to do to avoid the absolute hell of withdrawal. My family couldn’t take it, my friends couldn’t take it….even my therapist couldn’t take it – and they all left me where I was. I was very alone, very sick, and very scared. The low point came one night as I lay on the bathroom floor in my own vomit and blood – unable to obtain the pills I needed, hurting, shaking, crying, and begging God just to let me live through one more night. I told Him that I would do anything, I would never touch another pill, I would go back to church – if He would just save me one more time. The next day, I was arrested at the pharmacy as I picked up a prescription that I had called in for myself. Six weeks later, I walked out of the Collin County Jail on probation. A few weeks later, I was arrested in Dallas county on a warrant. I received probation there as well.
I managed to keep myself clean for a time before illness struck me again. After several hospitalizations, I was able to justify my ongoing use of pain pills so that even the probation officers looked the other way when I was obviously intoxicated at my monthly meetings. Two years later, the bathroom floor scenario repeated itself. The next day, I was pulled over for a traffic violation and arrested on an outstanding warrant for failing to report to probation. When I went before the judge n Dallas County, I was given the maximum sentence of 10 years in prison for prescription fraud – he probated it on the condition that I compete the Substance Abuse Felony Punishment program within the prison system. This would allow me to be home after 9 months and back on probation. I was scared to death. I was transferred to Collin County to face sentence for my probation violation there. While waiting or my court date, I heard about “Untying the Lies that Bind Us.†A new class was starting, and I had heard good things so I decided to go. It changed my life after only one session. I read the entire book in one night – I don’t think I have ever identified with anything more.
The Collin County judge that I was to appear before is well known to be very hard on drug offenders. I was terrified. The night before I went before him, I did something I had never done before. I turned everything over to God. I had done some version of this several times, but always on my terms. “God, I need you too…..God please make _______ happen.†This time was different. I was so tired. I was so messed up, I knew I could not make my life worth anything. I kept thinking of what Sandy said about asking God to pry the one thing that I could not let go of out of my hands and I said “God, please help me, please just do what you think is best. If that is prison, I’ll find a way to be ok with that. I don’t know what I am doing. I need you. Whatever you think is best.†That night, I slept better than I had in years of being “free.†The next day, I went before the judge knowing that whatever happened would be the will of God. The judge let me off with a warning. He said “You have obviously had a difficult time. I see something in you that you do not see in yourself, and I hope you find it without messing up again – because next time, I will send you to prison.†God was there that day. A few days later I was transferred back to Dallas county. I was devastated not to be able to finish the “untying the Lies that Bind Us†class with Sandy. I began to write her letters. I finished the book on my own. I shared it with my cell mates. Besides my mother, Sandy was the only person that I ever received a letter from in the almost 2 years that I was incarcerated. She barely knew me, but God gave her a way to encourage me. His light came to me through her every time I read and re read the book, and every time I got a letter from her in the mail. I waited several months n the county jail before I was finally transferred to the prison to do my time.
Going to prison is a very frightening and harsh experience. The system really does not believe that people can change, and that is an idea that they do their best to reinforce every day. I had a lot of time to think while I was there. I knew my life had to change – drastically. I knew I could not change it. I knew God could. I started over in the “Untying the Lies†book. I looked hard at my life. I looked honestly at my life and I had honest conversations with God about changing my life. I really had never been that honest before with myself or with anyone else. I looked hard at how I had bought into every lie that satan ever told me, and how the “Tick Syndrome†had become an absolute way of life for me. I looked hard at the fact that my own choices were the reason that I was in the situation that I was in. Until that time, I thoroughly believed the lie that my life had happened to me and I had not done anything at all to bring any of these consequences upon myself and that I did not deserve them because I had not done anything to hurt anyone except myself. I went through huge feelings of guilt and shame and confronted my anger with God about my childhood abuse. For the first time, I was able to forgive my parents and myself, and I was able to accept the love that God has for me. This was not easy, and it wasn’t a short process. I had moments when I wanted to lash out at God for allowing me to be so stupid and I had moments when I thought that I might as well commit suicide because changing was just too hard. The “Untying the Lies†book served as a source of strength for me because it was so close to home. It is the story of a person who had been through the same struggles as I had and had reclaimed the strength and favor of the Lord. Along with my Bible, it gave me the courage and hope I needed to forge ahead and to combat the ongoing battles with satan.
I was released from prison on October 1, 2004 and I was a changed person. My life belonged to Jesus Christ in a way that it never had before. Prison is an odd place to find peace, but I found mine there with the help of this program. I have faced many frustrations since my release, but I have faced them with the conviction that God is in charge, and I will be ok with whatever the turnout. Slowly but surely, my life is continually being restored and rebuilt in amazing ways. I have better relationships with my family and friends than I have ever had. My mother, who basically walked away from me in fear of watching her own child die, is proud of me today. My friends call me and want to spend time with me. I have a good job, and everything I need to take care of myself. Praising God is a daily practice, because I know without Him, the joys in my life would not exist today. I know that without God, I would be dead. I am now presenting this study to the women in the Homeless Shelter Program at the Salvation Army. My first two students recently graduated and their lives are changing as well.
I was recently released from probation in Collin County. It was a day that I never thought I would see. I have been clean and sober for 3 years – 2 of them free from incarceration. I do not have cravings. I do not attend Narcotics Anonymous meetings. I attend church, I read my Bible, and I stay in constant communication with Jesus Christ. I have found the healing that Narcotics Anonymous says is not possible. I am not a recovering drug addict. I am a new creation in Christ and by His stripes, I have been healed. My life is not perfect. Satan comes after me harder than ever, but I have the tools and the understanding to be able to recognize his efforts and fight for the faith that I worked so hard to find. Satan will never win in my life again, because Jesus Christ has saved me from that – and he used Sandy Stiles and the “Untying the Lies that Bind Us†program to do that…
*************Update January 2007 ****************Christy is working for the Salvation Army and has taught the 'Untying the Lies' class. She has held a steady job and stayed clean as she has helped others become clean. Way to go Christy!