MiLo[Burnt~Fae]

About me:
I'm really tired of this voice in my head. I hate it, yet i also love it. I feel as if I am fighting something that's not really there... Others tell me it's normal for people like me to have it. I just want something worth living for...
I first began noticing my eating habits changing when I was 10-13. I would go without eating breakfast and enjoy the hunger pains felt. I remember vividly restricting from chocolate for two years when I was ten years old. I felt a sense of power in the way I could control my caloric intake so easily and not care what others thought.I began starving myself whenever stress would hit me. I enjoyed the hunger pains, so it was not a big deal to me. I lost weight and people began to notice. I hid it using clothing and avoidance. Time progressed and it got better, at least with my perceptions. I told myself I would never purge, but then I did. I enjoy the rush of shoving fingers down my throat and the emptying of water and food from my body. I feel better afterwards. ~Went to an inpatient program for my ED. I gained 20 pounds. While I was in IP, the docs,nurses and even some of the patients accused me of being a Pro-Anorectic, because I *looked* like I was. I think it is sad they thought that. I dont support that sub-culture, yet I realize they need help like everyone else. I left Against Medical Advice(AMA). My body has changed...but i still feel the same at times. It's a struggle. I signed a contract for rehospitalization if I drop below a certain weight. I am starting anew, and I'm scared... .. Mist is your magical symbol. Mist is a very mysterious and dreamy element, which can often turn the mind fairly philosophical. Mist is highly intriguing and is noted as, sort of, a rare sight. Much like a rainbow. Seen a lot, but hardly enough. Mist brings about a sense of magic through its appearance as it glides across the earth in such a gentle, ghostly manner. And even as it does so, it doesn't seem to lessen in it's creative, wispy thickness or size. It's always there, moving and working, so unknown, and yet so wanted. Just like magic. Type A Blood
The most common blood-type among Japanese. Speaking broadly, it is said that people with Type A Blood are calm, composed, and very level-headed and serious. They have a firm character, and are reliable and trustworthy (and hardheaded). They think things over and make plans deliberately, and they plug away at things steadily and assiduously. They try to make themselves more like their own ideal of what they should be. A Types may look aloof or distant to others. They try to suppress their own emotions, and because they have continual practice in doing this, this makes them appear strong. But, actually, they have a fragile, nervous side, as well. They tend to be hard on people who are not of the same type, and so they consequently tend to be surrounded with people of the same temperament.Calm, obeys rules, values relationships with others, very sensitive, cautious and careful.Advantages: Obedient, careful, sympathetic, empathetic, self-sacrificing, polite, studious, disciplined, outwardly serious, willing to compromise, honest, loyal.Disadvantages: Worries a lot, hesitant to express emotion, internally emotional, weak-willed, taciturn, stoic, indecisive, introverted, anti-social, wishy-washy, nervous, detached.
Virgo sun is practical, responsible, sensible, logical, analytical, highly discriminating, a careful planner, precise and punctual, dedicated, perfectionist, critical, health conscious, and somewhat introverted.
♥ Scorpio rising produces a personality that is deeply reserved, secretive and determined. The power of the personality emerging from a Scorpio Ascendant is so intense, magnetic, and charismatic, that it is often somewhat overwhelming. Symbolized by the scorpion, you have an external "coat of armor" that protects and lets you survive in hostile situations. You are not the sort of person who ever knuckles under, even when pressures and circumstances would defeat lesser souls. When cornered, the famous "deadly scorpion sting" may be brought into play.
-With Scorpio on the rise your personality is very powerful. People find you hard to understand, to know what you are thinking at any particular time. There is a hidden depth to your persona that is nearly impossible for others to comprehend. Much of the time you may feel as though you are misunderstood. You are very willful and self-reliant, appearing calm and in control on the surface. Yet there are strong emotions at work inwardly. Scorpio is a water sign, and it is a fixed sign. This means that you are an emotional person. These emotions are very controlled (fixed), giving you the determination and the strength to overcome just about any opponent.
-Resentment and jealousy can be intense with you. You always pursue your goals with intensity. You can stand under heavy strain, and be relied upon to stay cool, even in the most serious emergency.
-You're inclined to be very suspicious or skeptical, and occasionally you can be "stingingly " sarcastic. Every sign has a positive and negative expression, but with the Scorpio the range of possibilities is extreme. Everything is black or white. There are no shades of gray with Scorpio on the rise. Your penetrating stare can look right through a person or a situation. You can make an instant diagnosis and it is usually the right one.