Music:
Member Since: 9/1/2005
Band Website: ultradolphins.org
Band Members: Frayser Micou - Drums
Tim Morris - Bass/Vocals
Nate Rappole - Guitar/Vocals
Influences: The Raising Arizona Song, Sanford and Son, music from Dr. Mario (esp the chill setting), Nine Inch Nails, Dirty Rap, Ted Nugent, castle house dance parties, Boston (the band), the Grand Canyon, our best friends.
Sounds Like: throwy uppy
ghosts in a basement:
a brief history of broken windows
We've toured a lot. With touring comes battle scars. We look presentable, sure, but it's easy to wipe tour off. All you do is shower, shave, and go eat a seafood buffet. No problem. Jackson's Hole? Where's that?
The Van is the real beast of tour. It has all the scars. It will always be the independent variable of the band's livelihood. You can't tour without it. It's the bread and the butter. Even after a perpetual rotation of bad drivers, a day by day demolition, and housing all of the worst smells of the world, you begin to get this feeling that it wants you to succeed. Despite the abuse, it's on your team. The catch is, like a diva, it needs the attention of a newborn baby. It wants you to worry about it. Constantly. And do you have a choice?
In good times, it is our best friend. It often dons a new sticker of exceptional personality courtesy of its inhabitants. Windy whispers blow "hero" as it scorches through the Mojave in mid-July. "May you never melt, tin lightning." If it needs a real confidence boost, we throw in the extra money for a new air filter even though it's probably not that important.
In bad times, it is the scapegoat. Its status falls from Ol Ironsides to Steve fucking Bartman with one blow of a gasket. Until it starts driving again, nobody will look it in the eyes. Quiet appreciation flips to ugly browbeating. "Why did we even buy you? Nice fuckin timing belt. HONK! HONK!" But like it or not, the Van tells all, and there is no denying the physical proof of the places it has taken you.
After our most recent Van suffered a brick through the windshield, the trend really set in. I could no longer count broken Van windows on one hand. As long as I am associated with Van, Van will continue to collect broken windows.
And now for a brief history in chronological order. It starts a bit hazy because I wasn't around for the first few.
Van 1
Band driving: Stop it!!
Window: left middle sliding 1
City:?
Culprit: some lil dude
Method:?
Reason: basic thieving
Status: not replaced
Band comments: It takes a brave, tiny person to fit in this window, and it's breezier in the back without it. A for effort and A+ for courtesy.
Van 1
Band driving: Stop it!!
Window: Left middle sliding 2
City:?
Culprit: Stop it!!
Method: lil bassist with brass knuckles
Reason: locked keys inside
Status: not replaced
Band comments: A little Juresko and a little Parma, Ohio magic went a long way for this classic boner.
Van 1
Band driving: Snack Truck
Window: Left Back
City: Charlottesville, VA
Culprit: Jorge Brito
Method: Pabst Bottle
Reason: Drunk and Underthrown
Status: Replaced with plywood and duct tape
Band comments: After getting shit from our friend, Jorge apologized to the entire crowd over the PA, seconds before Snack Truck's set. He also offered to pay for it to be replaced. No hard feelings, mysterious acquaintance. Big back pound to Talls for his home-turf heroicism.
Van 1
Band driving: Ultra Dolphins/ Snack Truck
Window: Left Sideview
City: Somewhere, Nebraska
Culprit: Frayser
Method: Veering off interstate and sideswiping a reflector pole at 85 mph
Reason: Some part of me wanted everyone to die
Status: replaced
Band comments: The pole also severed the brake line which we discovered the next day when I nearly killed everyone again. This time in Iowa.
Van 1
Band driving: Ultra Dolphins/ Snack Truck
Window: Driver's side
City: Chicago, IL
Culprit: Logan Square local
Method: weird metal object
Reason: he saw a wallet with money poking out
Status: replaced with plywood and duct tape
Band comments: The most beligerent Sam Vanneman (bravest roadie ever) ever got was one second after he woke up to the sound of glass shattering in his ear after 4 hours of sleep inside the van. Quoth he, "Fuck you motherfucker, get the fuck out of here!" Situation resolved...go get the duct tape. If you see him, hug that beast hard.
Van 2
Band driving: Eat Forever
Window: Windshield
City: Philadelphia, PA
Culprit: ?
Suspects: Osama Bin Laden, Tony Pointless, Tim Westberg
Method: Brick
Reason: That's how West Philly rolls
Band comments: Who's the faggot now?
We'll update this as the mayhem continues.
Record Label: Robotic Umpire
Type of Label: Indie
