Vivisection profile picture

Vivisection

I am here for Friends

About Me

I'd have to describe myself as a quirky girl. On any given day I can be anything from a bun-wearing, ruler wielding English teacher to a drunken Edina from Ab Fab. I'm usually up for a new adventure or experience. Even if things go horribly wrong, I find that everything makes for a good story later. I love telling stories that make people laugh. This can be complicated by the fact that I have a highly inappropriate sense of humor. Anything from babies falling down to funeral home mishaps make me laugh. Hard. Consequently, I can never decide if I am the type of person to whom strange things happen, or if I simply make strange stories out of everything that happens to me. At any rate, it should surprise no one that the phrases "Wouldn't it be funny if we..." or "I double dog dare you," play a starring role in my lexicon.

My Interests

What can I say? I'm a high-school English teacher so, naturally, there are the basic interests: hanging out in bars checking out the local music scene until the wee hours of the morning, drinking, checking out guys, ditching school to visit my friend Ann in Montana or to nurse a hangover. Oh, yeah, I also like reading and writing, and warping...er, MOLDING young minds. I fancy that I am a "cultured" smarty pants and I like travel, art , film, music, museums and other arty farty pursuits.

I'd like to meet:

Patsy and Edina, sweetie darling!This profile was edited with Thomas' myspace editor™ V2.5

Music:

My Time Life Ultimate 70's collection, X, Social Distortion, Jane's Addiction, the Pixies, Elvis Costello, the Violent Femmes, Early Bowie, Lou Reed and the Velvet Underground, the Cure, The Stranglers, Lloyd Cole, The Clash, PJ Harvey, Liz Phair (except for her latest), Cabaret Diosa, Ozomatli, Psydecar, Agua Dulce, Jill Sobule, Tori Amos, Shuggie Otis, Zero 7, Hole, Nina Simone, Billie Holiday, Thelonius Monk, Edith Piaf, Pink Martini, Etta James, Al Green, Aretha Franklin Nick Drake, Leonard Cohen, and the list goes on.

Movies:

Auntie Mame-the original with Rosalind Russell, not the cheap Lucy musical--is probably my hands down, favorite movie of all time. Army of Darkness, Reality Bites, The Professional, Mi Familia, The Shining, Smoke Signals, Fried Green Tomatoes, To Kill a Mockingbird, Stealing Beauty, Almost Famous, most John Hughes and Kevin Smith movies. I like indie films, horror films, B-cinema and cult classics, and most especially cheesy films llke The Best of Everything, Splendor in the Grass, Peyton Place, Imitation of Life and 40's film noir.

Television:

Monarch of the Glen, Absolutely Fabulous, Mystery!, City Confidential, Law and Order SVU and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Books:

Leaving an English teacher in charge of a bookstore is like leaving an alcoholic in charge of the bar so I'll limit it to the top 10:1. John Irving The World According to Garp 2. Tim O'Brien The Things They Carried 3. The Perks of Being a Wallflower-Stephen Choblllshks,... 4. Jane Austen--all 5. The Outlander Series--Diana Gabaldon (sorry) 6. Janet Evanovich--Stephanie Plum novels 7. The Big Sleep-Raymond Chandler 8. Peyton Place- Grace Metalious 9. The Master and Margarita-Mikhail Bulgakov 10. Nick Hornby

Heroes:

Well Behaved Women rarely make history or good heroes. Mame Dennis Burnside and Eleanor of Aquitane always make my list.

My Blog

Customers are assholes.

Oh no she did NOT put her hands on me. I'm standing on the sales floor tonight for what seems like 10 hours and I have to pee like a racehorse. The break person has forgotten about me and comes rus...
Posted by Vivisection on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Bugger. Just....Bugger.

Why oh why hast thou forsaken me livejournal? What kind of girl can't go a day without posting her thoughts in cyberspace? An attention whore like myself. I had flow. I was working up to a re...
Posted by Vivisection on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

20 Reasons why a Woman Should Call it a Night................

1. You have absolutely no idea where your bag is.2. You truly believe that dancing with your arms overhead and wiggling your bottom while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.3. You'...
Posted by Vivisection on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Annie, this one's for you....

Montana count down: 15 days. I am a bit scared, however, as Ann has been nattering on about bull riders and arguing with republican hunters whom she then invites to parties. Sam-whose-name-should-be-B...
Posted by Vivisection on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

She was a one-eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater...

There are some awesome perks to being a teacher--Summer vacation, holidays, a paid sub when you don't feel like working, fighting the good fight against ignorance, the love and worship of your student...
Posted by Vivisection on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

When did Clairemont become yuppie central?

When I was a wee lassie growing up in Clairemont, it was a blue collar hood of the lower middle class variety. Homes with senior citizens and their gardens flourished right next to a home with Bubba ...
Posted by Vivisection on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Sounds like something that would happen to me...

Your Ultimate One Night Stand... by crispniteLJ UsernameFavorite animalYou invite over...They bring...You talk about...You end up...with a hangover the next morningQuiz created with MemeGen!...
Posted by Vivisection on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The grammar cow speaks...

Does it disturb anyone that the pull down date menu for blogs has August, spelled "AUGEST"?
Posted by Vivisection on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Velveeta loaf, anyone?

I AM 32% WHITE TRASH!The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.Take the WHITE TRASH test at...
Posted by Vivisection on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Now here's some real fun for you sinners...

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!Here is how you matched up against all the levels:LevelScorePurgatory (Repenting Believers)Very LowLevel 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-B...
Posted by Vivisection on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST