the rock, the roll, the law, cats, travel, spicy food, absurd humor, scatological graffiti on posters in the subway, bargain basements, dollar stores, 100 yen stores, 40 baht stores, synonyms, expanding my vocabulary, NY Po$t headline$, giving valuable time to people who don't care if I live or die, feeling like I'm too old to be quoting the Smiths but still doing it anyway
someone who can play the "Heartbreaker" solo. Or, in the alternative, someone who thinks that joke is funny.
Elvis Costello, the Fall, Ted Leo, the Slits, the Undertones, Big Star, The Ramones, Bad Brains, Dexy's Midnight Runners, Gang of 4, the Raincoats, Master of Puppets-era Metallica, the Pogues, Stax, Love, Nuggets, the Shaggs, Minor Threat, Simply Saucer, the Outsiders, Can, Rocket from the Tombs, Devo, Shellac (and Big Black, Rapeman, etc), Mission of Burma, Sparks, the Embarassment, Essential Logic, The Yummy Fur, Marmoset, the Rezillos, the Association, Motorhead (and to a lesser degree Girlschool), Monkees, Kinks, y'know, rock and roll...
The Shining, Taxi Driver, Office Space, Rosemary's Baby, Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
You Are Barney
You could have been an intellectual leader...
Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer
You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps
Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem."
The Simpsons Personality Test
travel books, the Great Gatsby, Moby Dick, Confederacy of Dunces