AMBULANCE - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Ever since I got back from tour in the UK things here have been so up and down and not what I expected to come home to that for a while I felt like I had either died and ended up in hell or crossed some sort of barrier in flight and ended up on some alternate timeline (far fetched, but it should go to show how odd things were to me). I held hope tight that the dreams I had on that plane would carry over as I touched ground. Even still, on the ground I hoped and held and overstayed my optimism with the taste of having my lifes loves take off and soar. You can glance at this journal and so easily see that it's just a pathetic collection of my shortcomings. Why waste my time saving these things, as if they should be glorified. Simply because I didn't know how to talk, or no one would listen when I offered my heart. It was the only solace I could find. But preacher, before you assume the same...I'm not a victim. I can't blame luck or say that I can trace the life I want to live exactly how the paper shows it. Especially when my eyes are too blind to see. Instead I try to stay humbled and speak about those things that spark these wildfires. I can only be true to myself and let my life unfold and hope that when I step back I will see this beautiful picture of a boy who held his head up higher than any substance, false lead, or waivering hopes could take him. Lately though, I've been alot better at adapting to the events going on in my life and around me. I can honestly say that after many blurry nights of fighting between my hearts wants and my heads needs I can finally lay down in my bed and breathe through my own lungs again. Restricted, collapsed, and bed ridden as they were...they still expand and give life like death isn't real. I'm going to take some time to soak in these selfish problems of mine so that my equilibrium can learn progress and own up to my birth as a Libra. I'll shut all the clocks off so that there are no limits. And when I know in my head and my heart that I'm whole, you can find me out in the streets burning every bridge you sold. Hi, My name is Gilbert. You are?

My Interests

Baby Girl Twist Away.

I'd like to meet:

Tupac Amaru Shakur.
Check out this video: The City That Doesnt Sleep Has No Dreams

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Go Raiders!

Music:

Tupac. Telltales. Mineral. Gloria Record. Circa Survive. Appleseed Cast. No Knife. American Football. Taken. Cursive. Burns Out Bright. Last Days of April. Name Taken. Northstar. Noise Ratchet. Days Away. Russian Circles. Blindside. Glassjaw. Norma Jean. Deftones. Benton Falls. Every Time I Die. Juliana Theory. Cave In. Strung Out. The Chariot. Recover. Saves The Day. This Day Forward. Brandtson. Flickerstick. The Ataris. Dredg. Dynamite Boy. Audio Karate. Underoath. Beloved. The Sound of Animals Fighting. Copeland. Saosin. Radiohead. The Cure. Sade. Patsy Cline. Explosions in the Sky. Settlefish. Kent. Hot Water Music. Junction 18. Rod Stewart. The Living End. Coheed. Bayside. Cypress Hill. Braid. Alk3. Thrice. Jimmy Eat World. Get Up Kids. Shall I Call You Logan. Western Eyes. What Have You.

Movies:

TMNT 1&2. Happiness. Magnolia. Nightmare Before Christmas. Mallrats. Dogma. Great Expectations. Can't Hardly Wait. Romeo and Juliet. Lost In Translation. Sol Goode. Donnie Darko. Bad Boys (1&2, even). Waking Life.

Television:

LOST.

Books:

Life After God. Generation X. Miss Wyoming. Hey Nostradamus! Breakfast of Champions. House of Leaves. Eleanor Rigby.

Heroes:

Christopher Crisci. Tupac Shakur. Anthony Green. Rich Gannon. Jason Camacho. Lester Green. Rusty Seesaws.

My Blog

IEX Totalview Agent Webstation

A tragedy. All the things that used to fill my head. All dead. My heart mourns. Nothing moves. What it means to live a life less love. A tragedy.
Posted by AMBULANCE on Sat, 13 Sep 2008 10:08:00 PST

Death is the dream you have nightmares about.

I usually get this way, late night, many drinks in. You know the way. Self loathing, destructive, lost, and ready to give up. It's no different tonight. Many drinks in. At twenty-two, is this rea...
Posted by AMBULANCE on Fri, 12 Sep 2008 09:44:00 PST

amphetamines forever!

Don't sleep. 'Cause then you'll dream, and once you dream life will always be a hands grasp away from what you want it to be. Always chasing movies, always crashing cars. Like some sick tragedy can ...
Posted by AMBULANCE on Wed, 03 Sep 2008 11:33:00 PST

No Law

I'm in Kansas. Recording an album for the next two weeks. Anything can happen.
Posted by AMBULANCE on Mon, 14 Jul 2008 07:47:00 PST

everything will work out in the end

I found worth in the war buried in my loves heart. Summer is golden. I'm knocking on wood. On my knee. That is love. On my knees. That is faith. In such beautiful eyes I see hope. Fucking magical.
Posted by AMBULANCE on Thu, 12 Jun 2008 11:24:00 PST

Time Warp

In such beautiful eyes, I see hope. Like everything before now was a lie. One long bad dream. And now, we get to wake up in something new. Purged of all that led us here. I know you hold your hea...
Posted by AMBULANCE on Fri, 08 Feb 2008 03:46:00 PST

something into nothing; such horrible form.

Avalanche! bring down the hills. crushing like ants the towns they panic. conversation stands still. and still. and still we all lock eyes in the silence. not a word. she says. how ironic. it...
Posted by AMBULANCE on Sat, 17 Mar 2007 04:19:00 PST

lower-case crimes

the horrible truth is it's all useless. the name. the face. you'll forget it in the fall. i wonder what's more important. the memory or knowing nothing at all. you've polished your skin. gave into the...
Posted by AMBULANCE on Wed, 28 Feb 2007 08:34:00 PST

if you're out there, I hope you find me.

I can't remember anything we talked about that night. I guess thats why I can't be sad about it all. I'm good at what I do, and sometimes that's a curse. The weather changes dail...
Posted by AMBULANCE on Fri, 29 Dec 2006 08:15:00 PST

a thought

It's profound, the way that life escapes you when you're chasing loss. Not until you stop and give up can you truely walk. It's never enough.
Posted by AMBULANCE on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 06:58:00 PST