My goals/interests include, but are not limited to:My son, the world's cutest kid, Alec:)dislocating my girlfriend's hips, the Niners South Park, Winning the lottery, Attaining the Presidency of the United States, Peeing off of the Great Wall of China, Convincing Gwen Stefani to dump Gavin, Finding a feasible way to introduce tequila directly into the human bloodstream, Abolishing the Electoral College, Discovering the "fugly" gene and eliminating it for the good of mankind, Getting so big that I block out the sun Legally changing my name to Eclipse, Having a threesome with Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale while Jessica Alba watches and rubs one out, Having the good fortune of catching a terrorist in the act and educating him on the finer points of what I learned to do to bad guys in the Marines, playing football this coming season, scaring the living shit out of any guy stupid enough to attempt dating either of my younger sisters, watching the Warriors improve...we finally made the playoffs...beware, the end is nigh...
Go fuck yourself. With a spindle sander. Right now. Got a webcam? Fuck off. Want to share a business opportunity? Fuck off. Want to sell me your super turbo all natural anabolic compund? Fuck off. Want me to use your page to place bets? Fuck off. If I don't know you, I probably don't want to...unless you are a really hot girl that wants to f*ck my brains out. ***Update*** If I don't know you, I probably still don't want to. And if you're a really hot girl that wants to f*ck my brains out, I have to decline. Sorry. I am sure you're hot...and under almost any other circumstances, I'd be delighted to know that you're eager to f*ck my brains out. Honest. It's just that I can't let you f*ck my brains out. You see...I've met a girl, and she's doing a really good job of f*cking my brains out. That stated, I won't be f*cking you. Sorry for the inconvenience. Don't trip though...this is Myspace...if you can't find somebody to f*ck your brains out here, you are in need of more help than I am qualified to provide.
I LOVE:Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, NOFX, Goldfinger, No Use for a Name, Deadbolt, Aphex Twin, MDC, The Toadies, Pantera, Metallica, Anthrax, Bad Religion, Sublime, The Neptunes, Depeche Mode, NIN, the Ramones, Suicidal Tendencies, Ministry, Drowning Pool, The Dead Kennedys, The Dead Milkmen, Faithless, Faith No More, Monster Magnet, Everclear, Pink Floyd, Iron Maiden, Ozzy, Van Halen, Megadeth, The Smoking Popes, The Vandals, Lit, Led Zeppelin, Cream, The Who, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Black Flag, Social Distortion, Helloween, Fischer Spooner, Caviar, The Foo Fighters, Nirvana, The Stray Cats, Johnny Cash, Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, The Police, Peter Tosh, Jimmy Cliff, Bob Marley, Pato Bonton, UB40, DRI, Nerf Herder, Tiger Army, Pennywise, and more bands that are easier to remember after I've been properly caffeinated....
Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Temple of Doom, The Last Crusade, The Crow, The Crow: City of Angels, Blade, Blade 2, Blade Trinity, After Dark My Sweet, Mystery Men, The Ninth Gate, Dogma, Chasing Amy, MallRats, Jay&Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks, LOTR, Ben Hur, Gladiator, Waiting, Boondock Saints, Batman Begins, Braveheart, The Messenger, Final Destinantion, American Beauty, Seven, The Usual Suspects, Wall Street, Heavy Metal, Akira, Kill Bill, Kill Bill 2, Pulp Fiction, Ladyhawke, The Princess Bride, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Aliens, Copycat, Dawn of the Dead, Team America: World Police, Constantine, X Men, X-2, X-3, Elektra, Daredevil(if you don't like it, blow me), Hulk, The Wall, The Devil's Advocate, Any Given Sunday, The Program, Christmas Story, The Longest Yard, Transformers, Ghost Rider, Superbad, and a whole lot more!!!
TV is an instrument of Lucifer, designed to turn average people into mindless, flabby globs of goo! Repent and be saved! Or just disconnect your cable, get off your ass, and do something productive. The previous public service message does not apply to Rescue Me, The Shield, 24, South Park, and reruns of Magnum PI and Quantum Leap.
The Secret Language of Birthdays, Pandora, The Witching Hour, Nightmares and Dreamscapes, Taltos, I Strahd, Da Vinci Code, Memnoch the Devil, Tale of the Body Thief, 1984, Dracula, Angela's Ashes, Diary of Anne Frank, The Big Damn Book of Absolute Manliness, Deadspeak, Eaters of the Dead, A Converation with God, War:Ends&Means, How to Score with Trashy Women, etc.
My Dad, my Mom, second Mom, and and my grandparents...never underestimate the importance of family:)