Billzabub - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I AM THE COSMOS - I AM THE SUN I was in the music business for 10 years.... now I sit in an office. What the hell was I thinking? I am an avid fan of all types of music. I consider myself eccentric with very diverse tastes. I am brutally honest and expect the same from the people close to me. My heart aches as the memories invade my fragile mindscape.

My Interests

Music, literature, art, tattoos, knowledge, symbols of the sacred, industrial culture, forgotten prayers, late night conversations, the lunar cycle, good wine, family, friends, good movies, bad movies, time......

I'd like to meet:

other like minded individuals who enjoy questioning reality. What shall I do, when there is no longer you? I miss my dad. He was the greatest man I ever knew. Are you here? Am I? WTF does it matter. Does anyone read this shit?

Music:

Ministry, Swans, Cash, STP, Nirvana, Smashing P, NIN, Incubus, Catherine Wheel, Skinny Puppy, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Cocteau Twins, Dead Can Dance, Alice In Chains, DEFTONES, etc.

Movies:

Fight Club, What Dreams May Come, SLC Punk, Seven, Requiem For A Dream, Vanilla Sky, Leaving Las Vegas, Leon The Professional, Great Expectations, Garden State, Drugstore Cowboy, Donnie Darko, Nightmare Before Xmas, American Beauty, Trainspotting, The Virgin Suicides, Memento, Sin City, Magnolia, 12 Monkeys, Boogie Nights, Bird, The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Anything by David Lynch.....

Television:

My Name is Earl, Chuck, The Office, LA Ink, The History Channel, DIY, Family Guy, Simpsons.... now for the all time fav's. Milleniuem, X-files, Twin Peaks, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel

Books:

Book Four by Aleister Crowley/ See a Grown Man Cry by Henry Rollins/ Inteview with a Vampire by Anne Rice/ Junkie by William S. Burroughs

Heroes:

William S. Burroughs, Al Jourgensen, and Stephen Hawkins

My Blog

november dying

this was originally written november 28th, 1990. i updated today. later i will be going to sit with my father. this will be our last thanksgiving together....november dyingnot icry n...
Posted by Billzabub on Fri, 24 Nov 2006 11:55:00 PST

my dark corner

i love to sit in my dark cornerwatching my breathpressagainst the window panebarefooton the dirty hard wood floorgrandma's kissesare like wishesas i rockfasterfaster to tumble like a childinto her lap...
Posted by Billzabub on Fri, 03 Feb 2006 04:08:00 PST

photograph

i have a favorite photograph of my son, i have always kept close to me... it is when he was about 3. it was a perfect day in a very imperfect life we have shared. the poem came from t...
Posted by Billzabub on Sun, 15 Jan 2006 02:12:00 PST

painted yellow pictures

her screams of painpounded in my headpainted yellow picturesnaming all the dead...10/11/89 yellow painted flowersdancing in the hallstained glance of memoriesetched upon a wallsigned by the handof som...
Posted by Billzabub on Sun, 15 Jan 2006 02:03:00 PST

memory

i trace the ouline of your smilei erase the smile from your faceas your memory fades into the night skyinto the stars above i recall your eyeswere full of tearsas you turned to walk awayi remember the...
Posted by Billzabub on Sun, 15 Jan 2006 01:56:00 PST

bequiled

in my waking hourswonder idreamlikeawaiting the dream to returnsurrender my willover to slumberfollowing closely night timei caressing moon shinei kiss the starsand make a wishbequiled to her smilewon...
Posted by Billzabub on Sun, 08 Jan 2006 12:22:00 PST

nothing

saying nothingto no onefeeling nothingnumb and obliviousthe painis gone for nownot wanting to hearthe truthdeaf, dumb, and blindwonder whatsober feels likewell medicatedwondering if anythingis ever go...
Posted by Billzabub on Sun, 08 Jan 2006 12:16:00 PST

if sorry could

if sorry couldwould u thenbelievefor weoncebreathed togetherand slept iin your armschasing dreamsin your eyesfound iheavenlike silent prayeransweredby love so truewas it foreverreplacedby promisesbrok...
Posted by Billzabub on Sat, 07 Jan 2006 03:58:00 PST

No Time

save your tearsthe sweet sorrow of sinswallow your heartand kiss me goodbyeas i fall into the winter skytowards the setting sunas her warm arms enfold menobody told meof yesterday and her memory ...
Posted by Billzabub on Sat, 07 Jan 2006 03:51:00 PST

forever and complete

brush away my fearwith your soft glancea breeze blowing slightlythe scent of you in the the airleaves me tremblingawaiting your caressthe way you touch menutures my soulmaternal and absolutetake me to...
Posted by Billzabub on Wed, 23 Nov 2005 07:39:00 PST