Seamus profile picture

Seamus

Orgasm donor looking for recipients

About Me

I am on the verge of world domination and even closer to time travel. I have an innate ability to read people's minds and levitate. I have amassed a fortune of over $500m largely due to selling babies and importing slave labour. However I am also an avid charity worker and have adopted over 200 children who work in my sweat shops. I have a PHD in masturbation and a Masters in cunninglingus. I also bullshit a lot.

My Interests

World domination, time travel, big wave surfing, esp, levitation, breasts, money, horses, sport, firewalking, nail chewing, ear flicking, dwarf throwing, punani, hopscotch, ballet, ultimate fighting, knife throwing, walking backwards, eating glass, etc

I'd like to meet:

Anyone who has a sense of humour. Must be funny or like my jokes. Such classics as "What did the cow say to the Farmer when he was milking it?", Answer : "STOP PLAYING WITH MY TITS AND FUCK ME !"

Music:

Tool, Led Zeppelin

Movies:

Happy Gilmore, Black Hawk Down, Schindlers List, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Terminator, The Cable Guy,

Books:

Viz, Ralph, FHM, Catch me if you can, World domination uncut, How to lose friends and alienate people